Spoiler Biggest douche in Skyrim

Psiberzerker said:

Had to read that a couple times, as I'm unfamiliar with that idiom. Regardless, when do you get to "Dance" with Karliah? After she poisons you, lets Mercer get away, gets you to do her bidding what do you get out of it from her? A peck on the cheek? No. Better to follow your brain than be led around by your... Leash.

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It's only her voice I like as my Mrs is from Peterborough and sort of sounds the same as her voice actor nothing less nothing more. I'll leave it there it's cluttering up the thread.

To me, Karliah sounds sort of breathless and anxious, as though she's suffering from a permanent panic attack. I want to say to her, "Chill out, woman! You're with the dragonborn. I've been to Sovngarde. I defeated the world eater. And if things get bad, I can even call on heroes of the ages to come to my side. It's all going to be okay, sweetie, really. I promise. Now take a deep breath..."

Moris said:

To me, Karliah sounds sort of breathless and anxious, as though she's suffering from a permanent panic attack. I want to say to her, "Chill out, woman! You're with the dragonborn. I've been to Sovngarde. I defeated the world eater. And if things get bad, I can even call on heroes of the ages to come to my side. It's all going to be okay, sweetie, really. I promise. Now take a deep breath..."

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If she does have panic attacks it just might get even worst now that she pissed me off by selling me out to a daedric prince.

I would politely ask, Gabriella, from the Dark Brother if I could just barrow her Crochet needle. Then I would have a great time stabbing that Dunmers bitch throat until she can no longer breathe. I would be doing her a favor if you stop and think about it.

Other than the Dragonborn, most guild leaders and jarls not named Balgruuf, Dengeir of Stuhn. I'll name some of the douchiest though.

Jarl Siddgeir: Jus look and talk to the guy, seriously.

Mercer Frey/ Brynjolf: "Is there some reason why your bothering me?" - Yeah I'm trying to ressurect your dying guild jackass. "Sorry lad/lass, I don't have time right now." - Understandable, moving from table to table and doing nothing must be very hard and serious buisness.

Galmar: "Why is it you want to fight for the Stormcloaks?" - Im carrying multiple uniforms of imperial soldiers I've killed, I'm a damn Nord and I'm wearing the armor of your weak rebellion in the name of Skyrim maybe?

Astrid: The hell she think she is? Questioning the Night Mother, any true DB member would have killed her on the spot or at least questioned her.

General Tulius: Emotionless. Unsympathetic. Afraid to get his boots dirty. Disregards the peoples in which land he's in by saying 'well ya know, the Thalmor did say so sooooooo.' Death by be-heading for Mr. Robot General 'who gives a damn if your people are dying?'

Ulfric Stormcloak: Ill tempered. Hasty. Neglects the people of his city that aren't nords. Still rather have him as High King of Skyrim though, any other sissy would just lie down like the Empire, unacceptable

dis-honorable mentions: Braith, Nazeem (hes funny though), Dirge, Jarl Elisef, Vignar-Graymane (post SC victory) and Olfred Battleborn. Could name more

I'm becoming somewhat fond of Nazeem and his snide remarks these days. I can always count on him to welcome me back to Whiterun with small talk about the Cloud District and owning Chillfurrow Farm, which is a very successful business. Obviously.

Astrid b/c she sells out you and the brotherhood

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Since everbody seems to be just repeating the same names, I thought I'd cast my vote for Arondil.

So few Ancano.

So few Maul, that fluffING IDIOT WHO THINKS HE IS A BOSS, YET I COULD KILL ON A SPLIT SECOND JUST BY FUS-RO-DAHING HIM TO THE PLANES OF DAMMING OBLIVION! I HATE HIM SO MUCH, I DON'T TAKE THE MAIN ENTRANCE TO RIFTEN JUST TO AVOID HIM. GOD I HATE HIM!

Little rant. Maven, of course. Bicthy bitch.

"There is a nip in the... FUS RO DAH!

Battle-Born, give me your money!

God, I hate 90% of Skyrim retarded NPC.

Pijack said:

So few Maul, that f***ing IDIOT WHO THINKS HE IS A BOSS, YET I COULD KILL ON A SPLIT SECOND JUST BY FUS-RO-DAHING HIM TO THE PLANES OF DAMMING OBLIVION! I HATE HIM SO MUCH, I DON'T TAKE THE MAIN ENTRANCE TO RIFTEN JUST TO AVOID HIM. GOD I HATE HIM!

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I somehow forgot about Maul. I concur!

Shadow King said:

so many, nazeem will probs be most hated. but the biggest douche is dirge i hate him with his ill smash ure face in remark even though im guild master. the bastard

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Yeah, he's in the top five for sure.

In my last game, I just got fed up with him, killed him and dragged his body behind the partition.

Second best 1000 drakes I ever spent.

In case you're wondering, the best was when I did the same thing to Nazeem.

I'm also looking for Belethor to get some votes. If I didn't need him to sell to, it'd be a ride on the Dual Daedric Express Train to Hell for that one too.

I don't like any of the thalmor i meet, they're all arrogant pricks

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ALDUIN

Gowsh said:

Yeah, he's in the top five for sure.

In my last game, I just got fed up with him, killed him and dragged his body behind the partition.

Second best 1000 drakes I ever spent.

In case you're wondering, the best was when I did the same thing to Nazeem.

I'm also looking for Belethor to get some votes. If I didn't need him to sell to, it'd be a ride on the Dual Daedric Express Train to Hell for that one too.

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Oh, I think you should see this.

Steam Community :: Screenshot :: Oh Belethor, you are soo dead.

Steam Community :: Screenshot :: Told ya.

I hate him so much.

Ulfric Stormcloak - he'd been doing my head in for a 150 hours and i just lost it one night, went to Winterhold and tried killing the pompous autistic prick (which of course you cant), ended up wiping out nearly the entire population of winterholdi about 20 or 30 mins...............and the morals are remember to save regularly & dont drink & play!

jaredb said:

Ulfric Stormcloak - he'd been doing my head in for a 150 hours and i just lost it one night, went to Winterhold and tried killing the pompous autistic prick (which of course you cant), ended up wiping out nearly the entire population of winterholdi about 20 or 30 mins...............and the morals are remember to save regularly & dont drink & play!

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LMAO!

I drink and play regularly. Perhaps the legendary strength of Nord Mead (read Canadian local craft beer) is the real reason I find I am able to support the SC's on some playthroughs. Who knows?

Mercer Frey I never liked that guy even when I first saw him. He's a douche for betraying you and he was a douche when I first got into the Thieves Guild too.

The Legendary Werebear said:

Mercer Frey I never liked that guy even when I first saw him. He's a douche for betraying you and he was a douche when I first got into the Thieves Guild too.

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Indeed. When he says, "Do. I. Make. Myself. CLEAR?" I really want to punch him in the face. But since I know I'll get the last laugh, I put up with him for the duration. ETA: First playthrough, it was hard. It was very hard.

Moris said:

Indeed. When he says, "Do. I. Make. Myself. CLEAR?" I really want to punch him in the face. But since I know I'll get the last laugh, I put up with him for the duration. ETA: First playthrough, it was hard. It was very hard.

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How dare he send us into Goldenglow Estate like that! Even Brynjolff thought that wasn't a good idea but no Mercer insisted saying "You said hes thief material so let him prove it!" lol

This brings back memories. I met my first Hired Thugs on that mission. The lesson they taught me was the Goldenglow Estate mercenaries don't notice you burning down beehives when they are busy killing Hired Thugs. Such a wonderful and useful lesson. I never did get to loot their bodies and discover the douche who hired them though.

Now that my character, Cecilja, has joined the Companions, I've noticed Vilkas is sort of douchey at first. "Be careful with that sword, it's probably worth more than you," or something like that. Sadly, he was right because I spent all of my money buying and building up Windstad Manor, but still...ouch.