My brother doesn't want to live in our house anymore. He lives with myself, my Mom, and my Step-father.
He wants to live with our Dad, there's a number of reasons why he may want to live with him, and why he does not want to live here. It could either be because he struggles with ADHD/Dyslexia and struggles in school as a result, and has ultimately given up trying as a result. He knows that he were to live over there he would have his Xbox and his Dog, and he wouldn't have to worry about Dad making him do his homework. My Mother however continues to work with him and makes him do his schoolwork (literally sits with him every night, he's in either grade). This may be a big part of it, but may not be all of it.
Another reason may be me. I no longer am on speaking terms with my Father for various reasons and events that have occurred throughout my life, which I will not go into detail too. Ultimately I decided to no longer see him anymore and that was that. He, however, has really terrible anger issues, and has lashed out verbally on a number of different occasions.
Anyways, it is believed that I have told people the reason why I no longer see him, which I have, just not the entirety of it. My father, who thinks I have done something I haven't done, will retaliate by making up blatant lies about members of my family, and will manipulate my brother into believing they are true. My brother seems to have all of a sudden feel like he is obligated to spend time with ourDad because I no longer do, add that to the untruthful accusations and stories that he is littered with every weekend he goes off to visit him.
My Mother and my Step-father are struggling to keep him in the house. They know that what's best for him is to remain living with us, because my father would not pay attention to my brother's schoolwork and he will simply not do it. My brother, with his mind filled with all of these things, a long with the stress and anxiety of having to deal with an obligation, is lashing out in our house, and is almost trying to find a way, a reason to be able to say that he no longer wants to live here anymore.
Lots of fights have ensued, between my Brother and Mother, and my Brother and Step-Father. He falsely accused my Step-father of abusing him after an incident involving some wierd text-messages, in which my Step-father tried to grab the phone from him to take it away, because he was not giving it up.
My father used this as leverage through the numerous custody battles in court that have been going on this and this past year, there was simply no valid evidence of this assault because both myself and my mother were in the room when he tried to grab the phone, not to mention my Step-father has been raising us both for well over 12 years, and has never laid a hand on us.
Anyways, the tension in our household continued to increase, and my brother continued to show signs of rebellion in attempts to go and live with his Dad.
My conflict with my father left me drained at the end, and I was at peace and content when I was finally able to no longer have to see him again. So throughout this whole event I was sort of on the sidelines, observing and evaluating all that was going on. I had never really been close to my brother, and he never reached out to me for support because of this. He felt alone in this house, trapped.
It was one day a couple of weeks ago, after a stupid fight between my brother and my step-father ensued. My stepfather stormed out of the house and my brother was a little heated. I again, witnessed this from the living room couch as it took place in the kitchen.
He was talking to himself, the whole, "I want to get out of this fluffing house." type deal, and he eventually came over to me and started to rant in front of me, I listened.
I listened to what he had to say, and then I gave my thoughts on it, and then we switched. We basically had a long sit-down and I told him my observation on the whole situation, as a person who belonged to neither party and was fighting for neither side, and he respected me and the fact I wasn't trying to yell or make him make any decision right then and there. He told me his own perspective about what was going on, and boy he couldn't be any more wrong. He would tell me things that it was so obvious our Dad told him that were so beyond untrue I couldn't believe it. I never called him out on it though, because that's what everyone always does. On this day I left him with his same beliefs.
As a last ditch effort to try and get me to come talk to him, my Dad actually lied about being diagnosed with testicular cancer, and that he had months to live. The lies that he told my baby brother were on just about the same caliber in regards to what was going on and what happened behind the scenes.
Long story short, we ended on good notes. He listened to what I had to say, and he said he would take the advice I had given him.
We had grown a little closer within these past few short weeks more than we ever had in our entire lives because of that one talk, in which I treated him like a person whose perspective matters, and who I didn't yell at when he said something and in my mind I was going crazy.
My mother came into my room today, and thanked me so much for all that I had done for my brother, that talk, and the continued actions afterward gave my mother, my step-father, and my brother's therapists hope that we may be able to get him out of this "spell" that my father has seemed to cast upon him.
I was the only one that was ever able to get to my brother, I was the only one that instilled hope. The therapists said that he seemed much happier, and much more stabled, and would constantly put in a good word for me.
I thought nothing of it, I was just trying to give my thoughts on something to someone who had just given his and was asking for it. I know it would be for the better if he were to stay here, and it was clear I would be the only reason he would choose to stay. So I promised myself I would help as much I can, all the while staying true to being the voice of reason or the person who plays for no side, just an observer.
Well, after congratulating me my Mother then begins to ask for me to accompany my brother, a long with my Step-father, to the Freshman orientation of my High-School, where he will be attending next year. Having experienced it before, it kind of sucked, and it wasn't that big of a deal. It was a basic seminar of people telling you things you already knew about the school. I had a lot of homework, but at the same time I didn't want to go. However, my Mother continued to try and pressure me to go, because she thought it would help if I were there, and that I continue to talk with him, almost convince him to do what my parents ultimately want him to do.
I said I would think about it, but I ultimately decided not to go. My parents are now both beyond angry at me, and for reasons I can't understand. This is where my rant begins:
I am the only person who has been able to shine any light on my brother. It has been proven. You have congratulated me and thanked me and wanted me to continue to do what I was doing. However, you also now want to treat me like a puppet and order me to do things that will ultimately do nothing? Honestly, I know my parents have put so much time and effort into trying to help my brother, but they have failed every single time. Now that I have gotten to my brother, they now want to work through me.
Absolutely not.
Nothing they have done has worked, I was not asked to have that initial talk with my brother, I will continue to do what I can to help my brother, but I will not be forced to do anything. Doing something like that would make it blatantly obvious that I was being asked to do what I was doing, which in my brothers eyes would look like I have taken the side of my mother and step-father. As a result of this, I will lose his trust, and we will never have a talk like that again.
So don't get mad, let me do my own thing, don't put words into my mouth and don't make me act on anything. I know that the best place for my brother is here, and I want him to succeed. I have the trust and I know how to deal with it, so let me do it. It baffled me that they couldn't understand that, that how one minute they were thanking me for all that I have been doing, but then they would follow-up with an order, as if this was one big operation. No, my brother is a human being and he deserves attention and guidance from a third party, being me, so please just back off, parents.
(Okay, I apologize for the long post, most of this "rant" was technically a background story leading up to the rant, I had to write it because the rant would otherwise make no sense to anyone not involved.)
