Mighty Pecan Pie
The secret American
Warning: This is a long rant. Apologies.
I hate fighting with my dad and step-mom. Before I get into the story, here's my backstory (it'll all be relevant, promise). I moved in with my parents again exactly 2 months ago because I left my husband. Since I've been living with them I've been focusing on work, and then trying to have as much fun as possible after work. I do a few weekly chores each week and I clean up after my dogs. Sometimes I'm not home a lot during the week, and I ask my parents to feed my dogs when I'm not coming straight home. I buy my own groceries and toiletries, and very rarely dip into my parent's food. The only community resources I have been using are toilet paper and laundry detergent.
Ok. So yesterday my dad texted me a little bit before I got off work asking me to come home before I went shopping (I wanted to buy a new shirt for a big meeting I have today since I just got promoted, and I had dinner plans with my aunt at 8:00pm). So I said okay, even though I knew it was probably going to be lecture time. When I got there me, my dad & step-mom started talking. It started off fine, until my dad kept interrupting me mid-sentence. Every fluffing time I tried to talk or explain my POV on something, he'd interrupt me (FYI- this talk was about increasing my household responsibilities). So consequently, I started to get a bit heated, because my ex used to interrupt me CONSTANTLY and invalidate my feelings in our discussions. My dad told me to control my tone of voice and I said "Fine, I will, but you need to stop interrupting me so we can have a normal, adult conversation." He said okay, and stopped. But apparently the "normal, adult conversation" comment pissed off my step-mom, because she thought I was calling them childish. Everything just escalated from there. She started yelling, calling me ungrateful, told me I need to get my priorities straight, etc, etc. Then it became about money. She kept saying "You're living here rent free! You should do [insert a pl*ps ton of chores here]". That eventually turned into her wanting me to pay rent. I told my parents "Look, I have plans for my money. I'm trying to go back to school. I'm trying to save up to buy a house in a year. I have health issues that I need to pay for. Anything that I give you above the $200/month I'm already paying is just going to hinder that." By that point in the argument, my step-mom didn't really care and didn't want to listen to reason. It eventually escalated to me saying (Well, maybe yelling) "Fine! If you don't want me here and I'm causing that many issues then maybe I'll just move out!" (which is a load of crap, I can't afford that right now) to which my step-mom replied "Good!".
That was the icing on the cake. "Good", seriously? Fluff you, step-mom. So anyways I went outside (I was bawling my eyes out at this point) and smoked a couple of cigarettes to calm down. When I came back in nothing had been resolved (my parents were fighting because my step-mom felt like my dad was taking my side) and after a few minutes of unproductive discussion, her sister came and picked her up. My dad apologized to me and stuff, and I told him "Look, dad. I just want to be happy. When I got promoted yesterday (Monday) I was the happiest I'd been in a long time, and I feel like I can't catch a break. But I understand you need to be on her side, because I know what it's like to be married to someone who doesn't make you a priority."
So bottom line, I don't really know what's happening. I guess we are going to talk about it again tomorrow though. That conversation would have gone SO much better if my step-mom didn't disrespect me throughout the entire argument. I think she still views me as a 16 year old, not a 22 year old with a great job who DOES have her priorities straight in life. Plus she doesn't agree with my divorce, and I think that's partially why she's getting so upset over everything. So I guess I'll see what happens.
/end rant. Sorry guys. Just had to get that off my chest. I feel better now.
Ooh, I can relate so much with you on this. I live with my dad and step-mom too, and she hated it when my dad even considers my side..
my parent's divorced when I was 8, and I lived alone with my dad and little brother until I was 12. then my step-mom came along, and very soon we were living together. I was being abandoned by my mother since I was 3. (that's when my brother was born). Because of that I have a fear of getting abandoned, which is getting stronger atm, but that's another story..
so when we all started living together (she has two children), there were fights all along, and everytime my step-mom threatend to leave us, I always got very sad, because I didn't want to lose my "new" mom.. but at a certain point I had enough and just yelled back: "Yes, leave!! the sooner the better, You never should've showed up in the first place!" I said this when I was 13-14 out of pure rage, I apologized and all, my dad understood me, but she didn't.. after that things never got really good between me and my step-mom. I don't see her anymore as my mom. She just is my dad's girlfriend..
Becaue of that, we argue alot about a lot of things. And she always does the same thing as your step-mom: when I get mad, and say I want to leave, she just says: GOOD! which infuriates me even more.. and there is always the undertone of her wanting me to leave, so she could be alone with her kids and my dad...
You could've been my sister, I know exactly what you're talking about, and how it makes you feel..
