Beevus and Butt-Head (Comedy Fan-Fic Series)

[ChiefScalyNipples]

Author's Note: Now before I get a bootyfluff of comments saying "ZOMG U VANDALIZE TEH FORUMZ!!1one!" it says "Comedy Fan-Fic" so it's supposed to be funny and not serious. Oh and if you've never watched the show Beavis and Butthead, you'll probably not get the jokes in this.

Episode 1: Amulet of Mara

Our heroes, Beevus and Butt-Head, are two dorky teenage Argonians that think they're cool. Beevus has yellow scaled skin with horns on the top of his head that curve like hooks and his lower jaw is larger than his upper jaw. Butt-Head has a head covered with brown feathers and no horns and has 4 sharp fang-like teeth hanging from his upper lip and has peach colored scales with squinty eyes. The story takes place in Riften at their house, Honeyside.

Butt-Head: Uh huh huh huh, Hey Beevus, check it out *pulls out an Amulet of Mara from a bag he has next to him and shows it to Beevus*.

Beevus: Woah, heh, how'd you get that, heh heh.

Butt-Head: I got it from that black guy at the temple of Mara, uh huh huh. He said that if you wear it, you can score any chick you want. Uh huh huh huh.

Beevus: Heh heh, what is it like a...like a pimp chain or something?

Butt-Head: No, uh huh huh, dumbass. It's the artifact of the spirit lady of love or something. Uh huh huh, it's said if you wear it around your neck than she'll bestow the power of scoring upon you. Uh huh huh

Beevus: Heh heh, YEAH! We're finally gonna score! I'm gonna get a turn to wear it right?! Heh heh

Butt-Head: Yeah after me you greedy bunghole, uh huh huh huh.

Beevus: Ok lets go to Whiterun, that's where all the chicks are. Heh heh

So then our heroes left their house and proceeded to the Riften Stables and payed a man in a carriage to take them to Whiterun. Until the strong man picked both of them up and threw them out for annoying him.

Butt-Head: Hey we want our septims back, butthole! Uh huh huh huh

Beevus: What an asswipe! Heh heh

Butt-Head: It's all your fault Beevus, if you didn't ask that guy about how to get ancient Daedric porn scrolls we would have still been on there. Uh huh huh

Beevus: Shut up Butt-Head. Heh heh heh, I was curious!

Butt-Head: Whatever, lets just walk it's not that far away. Uh huh huh.

And so they did, our heroes walked all the way to Whiterun. When they got through the gate they were exhausted, holding on to their knees with their hands bending over. Until they feasted their eyes upon a beautiful young Nord woman named Ysolda.

Butt-Head: Uh huh huh. She's hot *puts on the amulet of Mara and starts walking towards her ahead of Beevus*

Beevus: Heh heh yeah... *realizes Butt-Head is gonna get to her first* Hey, wait!

Butt-Head: *to Ysolda* Uh huh huh, hey baby... I like, have the amulet of Mara 'n stuff, uh huh huh.

Beevus: Dammit Butt-Head! She's mine!

Beevus then tackles Butt-Head and they start fighting, breaking the amulet of Mara in the process.

Ysolda: Guys?

Their still fighting

Ysolda: Guys...

Still fighting

Ysolda: GUYS!

She finally grabs their attention and they stop fighting for a moment

Ysolda: I'm already taken by some other random guy with the Amulet of Mara.

Ysolda's boyfriend appears out of nowhere. He's a muscular, Jersey Shore Tanned guy wearing sunglasses and a full set of Iron Armor.

Dovahkiin: Hey sexy! *Slaps Ysolda's ass* Who are these two nerds?!

Butt-Head: Uhh sir, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to kick your ass. Uh huh huh

Dovahkiin: FUS RO DAH!

The powerful shout blew Beevus and Butt-Head both all the way back to Riften.

Dovahkiin: Come on baby, lets have sex while I bench press two dragons!

Ysolda: *Giggles and follows the Dragonborn back to his house in Whiterun, Breezehome*

Meanwhile, in Riften...

Beevus: Damn it! We didn't score! Heh heh

Butt-Head: I know, I hate that butt-monkey that blew us away. uh huh huh.


Episode 2 will come when I get some feedback. I hope you enjoyed this.

 

[The Hungry Orc]

...mother of god...
Other than the complete randomness, well done.

 

[OmNomNombies]

If ever there was a fanfiction that better captured the essence of Beevus and Butt-Head, I probably don't want to read it.

That's not to say you didn't do a good job with this, I just can't see anyone else making a Beevus and Butt-Head fanfiction that I would actually read. Well done.

 

[Afatguiarist]

I loled... A lot


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

 

[ChiefScalyNipples]

Thanks guys, if you didn't catch it, I made some word play in the title. If you didn't already know, the show is actually "Beavis and Butthead" but I changed it to "Beevus and Butt-Head" so it would sound like argonian names

 

[Start Dale]

I like, good parody of both source materials.

 

[ChiefScalyNipples]

The next episode will come tommorow

 

[dunklunk]

Most excellent, Chief! I can pretty much hear their voices whilst reading their dialogue. They should count their lucky stars they ran into Ysolda first and not Uthgerd. Now she woulda kicked both their asses, probably with one arm tied behind her back. uh huh huh

Looking forward to more.

 

[ChiefScalyNipples]

thanks, and sorry for the wait on episode 2, i've been lazy and busy at the same time. I'll try to do it tommorow.

 

[dunklunk]

No worries, man. I have a Ph.D. in laziness.

 

[ChiefScalyNipples]

Oh and just so you know, the next part will be a parody of the episode of where they watch twilight. Because Skyrim has Vampires and Werewolves too so I thought I'd fluff around with that lol.

 

[dunklunk]

I'm already getting my sides in shape for the laughter that will soon commence. Cuz you know those dipwads are so gonna rip Twilight. Thanks for the heads-up.

 

[blue 468]

this literally made me lol

 

[ChiefScalyNipples]

I'm already getting my sides in shape for the laughter that will soon commence. Cuz you know those dipwads are so gonna rip Twilight. Thanks for the heads-up.

No I mean my next episode is gonna parody that episode. The actual show already did it and their episodes been out for months lol.

 

[dunklunk]

Okay, now I see the light. Thanks for clearing that up.

 

[ChiefScalyNipples]

Episode 2: Twilight

Parody of this episode:

Our Argonian heroes, Beevus and Butt-Head, are watching the bards at the bard's college in Solitude act out a play. They are performing a poorly written play called "Twilight". Most organisms to utter a breath despise it, but Teenage Girls love it.

Edward Bitchfluffplops: bella i will fite 4 u until ur hart stawps beeting. lulz imma vampire.

Teenage Nord Fangirls: Awww!

Butt-Head: uh huh huh. Well this isn't very good, in fact this sucks worse than anything that has ever sucked before.

Beevus: Uhhh, is Bella like a draugr or something? Heh heh. Her mouth is always open, and she acts like shes dead.. hmm hmm heh.

Teenage Fangirl: Shhh!


Butt-Head: How come everybody whispers in this play. Uh huh huh

Beevus: They're probably embarrassed. heh heh.

Edward Bitchfluffplops: bella i will luv yu until da end of tiem. hehe i sparkle in teh sun.

Butt-Head: Uh huh huh, hey beevus, watch this. I'm gonna score.

Butt-Head: *taps a girl on the shoulder* I will fight for you, until your heart stops beating, uh huh huh huh. Can i have your sweet roll?

The girl slaps Butt-Head in the face, and moments later they get kicked out by the guards for annoying everyone in the audience during the play.

Butt-Head: *to the guard that kicked them out* Hey we want our septims back, butthole! Uh huh huh.

Solitude Guard: You sneaked in!

Butt-Head: Uhh, oh yeah. Uh huh huh.

Our heroes then rode the carriage back to Riften. They are in their house, Honeyside, contemplating a new way to score.

Beevus: Hmm hmm heh. Hey Butt-Head, while watching that crappy play I found out a new way to score. Heh heh.

Butt-Head: *raising his eyebrows* Really? And what would that be? Uh huh huh.

Beevus: We should like, become werewolves! I mean, chicks dig werewolves and vampires, heh heh.

Butt-Head: Yeah, but we're Argonians Beevus, uh huh huh. I've never seen an Argonian werewolf before, uh huh huh.













Beevus: I've seen a Khajiit werewolf before. Heh heh

Butt-Head: Really? Uh huh huh. Well I guess if they can do it so can we, uh huh huh. But, where are we gonna find one. Uh huh huh

Beevus: In Whiterun, there's this guild called "The Companions" and some of them are Werewolves. heh heh, maybe if we talk to them, they'll make us werewolves, heh heh.

Butt-Head: Uh huh huh, alright beevus, let's go.

Our heroes travel to Whiterun, they find this old homeless beggar on the streets with shaggy, long hair and a full beard, which they mistake for a werewolf due to his wolf-like appearance. This man is extremely diseased, he has Rock Joint, Bone Break Fever, Ataxia, Brain Rot, AIDS and some other diseases.

Butt-Head: *pointing to the beggar* Uh huh huh, hey Beevus, check it out, a werewolf.

Beevus: He must be from the companions. Heh heh, lets go!

Butt-Head: Dammit Beevus, you always screw everything up, let me do the talking. Uh huh huh.


Our heroes approach the poor man.

Butt-Head: Uhh, we were wondering if you could like, bite us. Uh huh huh


nd then he stopped and then they walked away.





Butt-Head: Now, uh huh huh. We let the transformation begin.

Our heroes walk back to their house in Riften, meanwhile the guards have a conversation with the homeless man.

Whiterun Guard: Hey there Gilthjolf, how ya doin?

Gilthjolf (Homeless Man): Just fine, sirs!

Whiterun Guard 2: You know, we saw you biting those two argonians over there.

Gilthjolf: I did, but they asked me to do it!

Whiterun Guard: Alright, take him away. This guy has Ataxia, Bone Break Fever, AIDS, and Talos knows what else.

The guards take Gilthjolf away. Our heroes are in Riften healing from their diseases, luckily enough, the Apothecary is taking them in their care until they get better. They now know the difference between a Werewolf, and an insane, hairy homeless guy.

 

[dunklunk]

Good stuff, man! And thanks for including that video of the original. Both had me rolling. Looking forward to where you'll take the intrepid heroes next.