Your Skyrim "head canon!"

[Neriad13]

.....Skooma......

Half-raw still-bleeding meat.

 

[Freyja]

Alduin devours souls because he is lonely and wants some friends to party with.

The Dragonborn, whenever he/she shouts at a dragon is initiating a debate topic.

 

[Wildroses]

In the Skyrim's which has the Dragonborn choosing to destroy the Dark Brotherhood, Babette became the listener and with Cicero's help rebuilt the Dark Brotherhood.

I came up with that one after thinking, 'There is no way Bethesda would not put everyone's favourite group of assassins in the next Elder Scrolls, so even though there are only two left, they must rebuild."

 

[Finnsson]

Half-raw still-bleeding meat.

Directly after birth, Nords are given a ceremonial battleaxe and some infant armor from Gymboree. Their mothers escort them to the tundra, where they are tasked with killing a giant and capturing its mammoths. Those who are successful drink mammoth's milk until age two, when they switch to solid food and Nord mead.

Simple.

 

[Khasrin]

Well, aside from the obvious, that Lucan Valerius and his sister Camilla have an incestuous thing going on...

Tolfdir's missing alembic that he asks you to find because it has "sentimental value" is really his favorite bong.

Onmund is responsible for the dog meat I found in our house in Markarth. I say this because when I found the first piece I promptly chucked it out, but the next time I came home, another piece had taken its place. Onmund was the only one in the house, so I can only assume he snuck out to get more after I left. Weirdo.

 

[berzum]

seeing how you never learn about your family in skyrim, the first woman or man you marry is actually you biological brother or sister, when TES VI comes out you will learn this and the divines will reveal themselves and laugh at your weak mortal mind.

 

[Delusional]

Ulfric and Galmar are in a relationship. A hot and heavy relationship.




Wait, this has been proven.

 

[Ivory]

Atmorans were jealous of Snow elf men's...spears.


As for a realistic one

The Dragonborn, while the defeater of Alduin, is not always a good person. I figure there is a time when he lets the power get to his head, but goes good again after some time.

 

[Delusional]

Esbern belongs in a retirement home.

 

[DrunkenMage]

Sovngarde is actually hell, because there is not a single drop of mead. Just that cheap drink labeled 'wine'.

 

[Delusional]

Astrid was menstruating when she set up the deal with the Commander Maro of the Penitus Oculatus, who also offered her ice cream along with being left alone in exchange for the Dragonborn.

Mercer Frey is the son of Lord Walder Frey, Lord of the Crossing. No wonder he's such a huge dick - it runs in the family.

 

[Asiaxfani]

In the Skyrim's which has the Dragonborn choosing to destroy the Dark Brotherhood, Babette became the listener and with Cicero's help rebuilt the Dark Brotherhood.

I came up with that one after thinking, 'There is no way Bethesda would not put everyone's favourite group of assassins in the next Elder Scrolls, so even though there are only two left, they must rebuild."

Thank you for my nightmares for the next few days. Seriously, the Brotherhood scares the living pl*ps out of me, and just the thought of those two (like, the creepiest ones of them all) just hanging out together and slowly rebuilding the organization... Am I the only one who finds this incredibly scary? I destroyed them on my current save, and now... *goes hide under the table*

Oh, and about the whole "what do Nord babies drink?" debate... This is the only thing I have to say:

.

 

[Neriad13]

Tolfdir's missing alembic that he asks you to find because it has "sentimental value" is really his favorite bong.

And that explains why he's always misplacing it. 0.0 And so amazed by every little thing he sees, even it is a threat to his safety.

 

[Edgeheaded]

All of the story of The Elder Scrolls V:Skyrim is a Skooma trip and the dragonborn is actually an addicted beggar dreaming of being someone that contributes to society. Oh yeah, it's sad.

 

[Finnsson]

All of the story of The Elder Scrolls V:Skyrim is a Skooma trip and the dragonborn is actually an addicted beggar dreaming of being someone that contributes to society. Oh yeah, it's sad.

This explains those bizarre glitches...

 

[feliciano182]

All of the story of The Elder Scrolls V:Skyrim is a Skooma trip and the dragonborn is actually an addicted beggar dreaming of being someone that contributes to society. Oh yeah, it's sad.

Pretty much the story of my life...........................without the skooma.

 

[Edgeheaded]

This explains those bizarre glitches...

You bet

 

[Wildroses]

Mikael is courting Uthgerd the Unbroken.

I'm serious about that one. I've played lots of characters, and in all of them he spends a LOT of time sitting on the chair opposite her. I've never seen Mikael sit on benches or stools, it's always that chair opposite Uthgerd...

 

[feliciano182]

Mikael is courting Uthgerd the Unbroken.

I'm serious about that one. I've played lots of characters, and in all of them he spends a LOT of time sitting on the chair opposite her. I've never seen Mikael sit on benches or stools, it's always that chair opposite Uthgerd...

It'd be hilarious that OF ALL THE WOMEN IN WHITERUN..............

............Uthgerd would be the one.

Not in my case though, bitch is my steward in Lakeview Manor !

 

[Edgeheaded]

Uthgerd be ugleh.