Kohlar the Unkilled
Time for some ale
Many of you will be too young to remember what TV was like before becoming infected by the pox which is "reality television," but I remember when things like the Discovery Channel, the Learning Channel, and National Geographic were actually interesting and educational. Now, not only are such networks inundated with stupifyingly pointless reality shows, (who the hell dreams these things up anyway?), but now they subject us to day-long marathons!! I'll turn on Discovery Chanel hoping to watch something about space, or ocean life, or predators... "sorry guy, I guess if you don't want to watch 10 hours of Mountain Men, you're f***fed!" I wonder what's on tomorrow- oh good, 12 f***fing hours straight of Horders!! ...and after that, Finding Bigfoot! FINDING BIGFOOT!?! WOW, I WONDER IF THEY f***fING FIND HIM!?! At least I still have Shark Week... don't I?
Well, kind of. They just don't make it like they used to. First of all, in the tradition of Finding Bigfoot... they have these shows on Shark Week where they search for things like Megalodon, or a 30ft Hammerhead. Have you seen these gems? The whole show, they go from place to place to place, always interviewing fisherman who swear to've seen these things first hand, but do they EVER FIND IT? They must've JUST missed it... An hour-long show, that's utterly pointless, because they think I'm stupid enough to sit through the whole damn thing to see if they'll find a Megalodon... too bad they were right! I'll never get that hour of my life back.
Another thing I hate about the modern nature show, (and not just nature shows do this, but all reality shows too), is the PREVIEW and RECAP. This is just another way for producers to be lazy and have less actual content. You know the preview? Where they go, "When we return..." and then they show you what they're going to show you, before they actually show you. Oh well, who needs suspense anyway? Then the recap, where after the commercials, they remind you of what YOU JUST f***fING WATCHED!! All and all, they've cheated you of about 20 minutes of content per hour long show by doing this.
That'll be all, for now.
Well, kind of. They just don't make it like they used to. First of all, in the tradition of Finding Bigfoot... they have these shows on Shark Week where they search for things like Megalodon, or a 30ft Hammerhead. Have you seen these gems? The whole show, they go from place to place to place, always interviewing fisherman who swear to've seen these things first hand, but do they EVER FIND IT? They must've JUST missed it... An hour-long show, that's utterly pointless, because they think I'm stupid enough to sit through the whole damn thing to see if they'll find a Megalodon... too bad they were right! I'll never get that hour of my life back.
Another thing I hate about the modern nature show, (and not just nature shows do this, but all reality shows too), is the PREVIEW and RECAP. This is just another way for producers to be lazy and have less actual content. You know the preview? Where they go, "When we return..." and then they show you what they're going to show you, before they actually show you. Oh well, who needs suspense anyway? Then the recap, where after the commercials, they remind you of what YOU JUST f***fING WATCHED!! All and all, they've cheated you of about 20 minutes of content per hour long show by doing this.
That'll be all, for now.