OOC Two Sides of a Coin (TSC)

[PostScript]

Thanks, Wow 10 points for posting a profile?

 

[The_Madgod]

Thanks, Wow 10 points for posting a profile?

I give gifts to all new members. It is the way of the Llamahat. I have decided that you hsall be spared in the coming Alpacalypse. I know someone who likes you, and that is a nice character card. Now, I must fly. Not literally. Thatw ould be wierd. I must... Go to sleep, I guess.

 

[PostScript]

Wow the mad god is indeed mad. Shergorath would be proud.

 

[Neverwin]

Soo... err... should I hold off on RPing, then, until further notice?

 

[PostScript]

So I realize you have no idea what my writing skills are like.
And it looks like your all going through a loss.
So I offer this short story I wrote for class a few years back.

On the Wind​

The insights and thoughts of the young strike me, giving me pause. On a sightseeing trip with my nephew to Bright Rock Mountain is a good example of the Buddha type moments of youth. Let me elaborate.

It is a bright and cheery late spring day, when we came to the top of Bright Rock Mountain in the Blue Ridge range of North Carolina. We were taking in the vast panorama of blue green mountains fading to a pale denim color in the distance. When I noticed my nephew, a normally rambunctious child with a tendency to always be causing a commotion, was strangely silent. Appearing lost in thought. I wandered over and asked what he was thinking about. He stated, "I wish I was a buzzard." So matter of fact that it literally begged for more. So I inquired as to why. He told me that it was so he could glide on the wind without much care for the rest of the world. This is the kind of soul searching deep thought kind of statements you only seem to get from philosophy majors and children.

I then got lost in my own philosophical debate. What was my place here on this mountain and my place in this world. Am I not deep enough to consider these mountains? Was I too caught up in maintaining the schedule of the day? I paused and thought... I too want to be one of those birds on the wing. Gliding on thermals, wingtips alight with wind and taking in the panorama of a life passing me by.

Anyway give it a read, and let me know if I can join

 

[Skyrimosity]

Soo... err... should I hold off on RPing, then, until further notice?

What do you mean?

So I realize you have no idea what my writing skills are like.
And it looks like your all going through a loss.
So I offer this short story I wrote for class a few years back.

On the Wind​

The insights and thoughts of the young strike me, giving me pause. On a sightseeing trip with my nephew to Bright Rock Mountain is a good example of the Buddha type moments of youth. Let me elaborate.

It is a bright and cheery late spring day, when we came to the top of Bright Rock Mountain in the Blue Ridge range of North Carolina. We were taking in the vast panorama of blue green mountains fading to a pale denim color in the distance. When I noticed my nephew, a normally rambunctious child with a tendency to always be causing a commotion, was strangely silent. Appearing lost in thought. I wandered over and asked what he was thinking about. He stated, "I wish I was a buzzard." So matter of fact that it literally begged for more. So I inquired as to why. He told me that it was so he could glide on the wind without much care for the rest of the world. This is the kind of soul searching deep thought kind of statements you only seem to get from philosophy majors and children.

I then got lost in my own philosophical debate. What was my place here on this mountain and my place in this world. Am I not deep enough to consider these mountains? Was I too caught up in maintaining the schedule of the day? I paused and thought... I too want to be one of those birds on the wing. Gliding on thermals, wingtips alight with wind and taking in the panorama of a life passing me by.

Anyway give it a read, and let me know if I can join

I think we'll all be glad to have you with us, PostScript. Welcome to Two Sides of a Coin! Make sure to read the entire RP before posting.

 

[PostScript]

I think we'll all be glad to have you with us, PostScript. Welcome to Two Sides of a Coin! Make sure to read the entire RP before posting.

Ok, glad to be part of the group.
I have read the whole story... not sure why someone would apply to join one without doing so.

Is it permissible to do a touch of creative criticsim?
I hope so cause I am gonna anyway. Please please take these with a grain of salt.

• Skyrimosity: Edwyn is a ex-adventurer? Cause he seems more than a touch rusty, I like the wife angle. I feel you need to give us more reminices and memory flash backs. To give her more life in the story. And draw our hearts more to Edwyns pain.
• Madgod: Early on you used the others characters voices to kinda fill up space. And I as a reader have no idea who Velid is as a person.
• Minstral: Circe has a whole bunch going on. But I am intrigued as to what direction its all going in. I have to agree with PurpleShew the astral thing was too much too often and you seem to be hanging back on it now.
• PurpleShew: Wow Bruynzeel is totally a god... (oops sorry I see he left.) ...over the top with skills but the skill in writing and how normal you treated him, not making everything obvious to all was nice. But still over the top with skills.
• Neverwin: I am in awe, you have me rolling with your dwarf wanna be elf. I admire the true character that Sveer is!
• Rekamennos: Like Circe, and Bruynzeel your character is over the top with the astral stuff. The raw power almost god like. Are you english or american cause your posts seem like this is not your natural language. To repetitive of small details. And constantly schooling us in your lore. Might want to let the reader remember your stuff on their own and not have to rediscribe it like they are idiots. And looking over your last posts I feel you are not being your character. Esset was robbing you. And yet you ignored that and asked everyone to hurry up, moving away and not partisipating. Where I think Leilani would have been all over the assassin with anger.
• Soundwave129: Whats with the daedra spiders, is that even possible in game? And like purpleshew said maybe you would be more... apologetic and conciliatory when you are caught not threatening those your trying to join. Looks like your in a cycle of distrust now.

sorry if this rubs the wrong way. And I will understand if you no longer want me to join.

 

[Soundwave129]

PostScript, summoning Spider Daedra was a spell in Oblivion, as Esset's a master conjurer (see my character card) he can preform not only that spell but a smaller version which summons Spiderlings (smaller spider daedra). If we discounted everything that wasn't just in Skyrim, we'd lose a ton of writing here in the forums.

And as for Esset's attitude, I again direct you to my character card. He hates authority figures of any kind, and considers himself the best thing to walk Nirn since Talos. Being insulted and threatened makes him respond in kind.

Hope that answered your questions. You need to read up on tour TES lore if you want to be a part of these RPs, otherwise you're not going to get a lot of things.

 

[PostScript]

Sorry, I knew that was in Oblivion. I thought this was Skyrim. lol, I won't make that mistake again.






reponsce to rating. I didn't mean it mean. Hard to tell from text if someone is joshing or not.

 

[PostScript]

I have been trying to craft an entrance to the story for Archer, How about he know someone in the group. Perhaps Edwyn... Maybe long before Edwyn quit adventuring Archer and he were adventuring together. Might be He introduced the two like in "How I met your Mother" like they are in a tavern and Archer being a outgoing and open person says to a pretty girl without preamble just having stepped up. "Have you met my friend Edwyn?" they hit it off.. yada yada. excetera. etc.

And I think I will be up the road in Dragonbridge. If I know my map right. *thinking cap on* Your just at the edge of the Bridge and its in view. I might be wrong and your further away. But I am like there. if you are distant I have a smithing scene. All rugged and mysterious. Take a break in the tavern..."Oh wow! its Edwyn!", Drinks are on me.

Might do that anyway sounds like "Print it that's a show!"

 

[Rekamennos]

• Rekamennos: Like Circe, and Bruynzeel your character is over the top with the astral stuff. The raw power almost god like. Are you english or american cause your posts seem like this is not your natural language. To repetitive of small details. And constantly schooling us in your lore. Might want to let the reader remember your stuff on their own and not have to rediscribe it like they are idiots. And looking over your last posts I feel you are not being your character. Esset was robbing you. And yet you ignored that and asked everyone to hurry up, moving away and not partisipating. Where I think Leilani would have been all over the assassin with anger.

Hmm thanks for the "constructive criticism." You know, here's the thing, there are ways to say things that make a person sound less like a jerk and gets the point across. I know that you and Shew were friends from what you said in Shoutbox, and from your bluntness it shows. I am sorry you don't like my roleplaying style, more or less when I state things over again it's for me and not the reader. Perhaps that's a weakness on my end, but never once did I say I was an extremely talented writer. I just like doing it. I can't wait to see what you have in store for a character yourself, because obviously it shows you know your stuff from how blatant you are when it comes to other's skills. I don't making criticism like this because I don't feel like it is my place, unless I am asked. But that's just me because I realize I have many flaws as a writer and accept that I can do things wrong from time to time.


As for Leilani, you don't know her, she doesn't react to things that other people think she would react to. If Esset had came in and taken her money, she wouldn't have gotten riled up about it eve though you so may think. She has a secret to protect, so whatever she does reflects that. Even if it means controlling anger on something that others would have reacted much more typically. As a werewolf, one of the biggest things a person has to do is control their anger, and she detached herself because she felt that getting away from something that was causing her to be the center of attention was more inconvenient to her secret. She values saving a woman who is in more threat than her pocket over jumping up and down on an assassin who had three other skilled characters to work things out with. Leilani is a quieter type and reacts when things are important TO HER. But I guess you wouldn't know that because you just started the roleplay with us, and also because you assume she is just like everyone else. Remember that each person plays their character differently, and that while it may not be said right now, over time it reflects.


Also, if you read back in OOC comments I show that I am trying to slow down my character when my friend, PurpleShew, at the time confronted me about it and I didn't realize I was getting ahead in myself due to the love of writing. I'm sorry that it seems like Leilani is being a God-character, but I have to disagree with you because there hasn't been a moment in combat I have been able to show she is not. She has weaknesses and flaws just like everyone else. But I feel like in the mind of a paranoid person who always is constantly seeking to make sure others aren't aware of her alternate lifestyle, and to protect her Goddess, that you'd be very refined in what you do to protect it.


Thank you. Feel free to respond I am more than interested in hearing what you have to say. Because if you feel so strongly about my roleplaying style so far, then I definitely know you would hate to read my fanfiction. It's full of grammatical errors, "god-style writing," and so much more.


Can't wait to meet your own character soon!

 

[PostScript]

I am reading it now... give me a few. I clicked he link in your tag and was taken to the lastest one... back tracking.

 

[Rekamennos]

Where I think Leilani would have been all over the assassin with anger.

I just feel like I want to restate this sentence for convenience' sake. Remember this is my character, and this is how I play her. You have no idea about her because she's not yours.

 

[PostScript]

I apologize too, I wasn't trying to be a butthead. I just don't have a good filter. I will endeavor to correct that. You are talented. And i see it is more of a personal venture.. I was giving a reading perspective. Edited to many papers in my past. I am sorry. I am the new guy you all are the stars! Now back to reading your story.

 

[PostScript]

This is incredable.... Ula. Aatu, empathy, astral worlds, Alternative universes The story is one and the author the other.. I like it. But it is a touch hard to follow. The concepts, the history, rules and governments, a whole other society. Great! stuff and your right, you do tend to do the repeat thing. Its like I am reading your actual thoughts verbatum on the page.

 

[Rekamennos]

I don't intentionally do that. It just happens I am sorry. And I don't want to change it because it's apart of how I write, and it's a part of my style. I feel like the way things are written, how I write them besides the grammatical mistakes and instances where it just doesn't make sense is what fuels my words. *shrugs* I write for fun, not for sport, and my novel I will hold to a highly different strict standard than what I do on this website.

It is a bit hard to follow because each time I write, I make the stuff up on the spot. So as it is being told to you, I am telling it to myself. I am trying a different approach to long story writing instead of planning it all out firsthand. And so far I am liking it even though it has some major weaknesses because it surprises me with the things I can come up with when I just sit down intending to continue it piece by piece.

Thanks for the compliments.

 

[PostScript]

Ok, glad to be part of the group.
I have read the whole story... not sure why someone would apply to join one without doing so.

Is it permissible to do a touch of creative criticsim?
I hope so cause I am gonna anyway. Please please take these with a grain of salt.

• Skyrimosity: Edwyn is a ex-adventurer? Cause he seems more than a touch rusty, I like the wife angle. I feel you need to give us more reminices and memory flash backs. To give her more life in the story. And draw our hearts more to Edwyns pain.
• Madgod: Early on you used the others characters voices to kinda fill up space. And I as a reader have no idea who Velid is as a person.
• Minstral: Circe has a whole bunch going on. But I am intrigued as to what direction its all going in. I have to agree with PurpleShew the astral thing was too much too often and you seem to be hanging back on it now.
• PurpleShew: Wow Bruynzeel is totally a god... (oops sorry I see he left.) ...over the top with skills but the skill in writing and how normal you treated him, not making everything obvious to all was nice. But still over the top with skills.
• Neverwin: I am in awe, you have me rolling with your dwarf wanna be elf. I admire the true character that Sveer is!
• Rekamennos: Like Circe, and Bruynzeel your character is over the top with the astral stuff. The raw power almost god like. Are you english or american cause your posts seem like this is not your natural language. To repetitive of small details. And constantly schooling us in your lore. Might want to let the reader remember your stuff on their own and not have to rediscribe it like they are idiots. And looking over your last posts I feel you are not being your character. Esset was robbing you. And yet you ignored that and asked everyone to hurry up, moving away and not partisipating. Where I think Leilani would have been all over the assassin with anger.
• Soundwave129: Whats with the daedra spiders, is that even possible in game? And like purpleshew said maybe you would be more... apologetic and conciliatory when you are caught not threatening those your trying to join. Looks like your in a cycle of distrust now.

sorry if this rubs the wrong way. And I will understand if you no longer want me to join.

I didn't mean this to be mean... I was giving a readers view. Sorry.

 

[Skyrimosity]

• Skyrimosity: Edwyn is a ex-adventurer? Cause he seems more than a touch rusty, I like the wife angle. I feel you need to give us more reminices and memory flash backs. To give her more life in the story. And draw our hearts more to Edwyns pain.

Edwyn was an ex-adventurer and he is certainly a bit rusty since its been probably about 5-7 years since he's been on that. And I plan to do more of the reminiscing and flashbacks during the night (cliche I know) because that really will help to get the point better across to the readers.

Also, about those bad manners ratings, I do NOT encourage ANY of you to be handing those out over an honest opinion. This is not the general discussion and we do not discourage thoughts. I know he probably could have stated that better, but I managed to take it as an honest, well-meant statement about the RP so far.

 

[Rekamennos]

I didn't put the bad manners thing on him. If I thought so, I would have. *shrugs*

 

[The_Madgod]

I didn't put the bad manners thing on him. If I thought so, I would have. *shrugs*

Nor did I. I am a fan of constructive criticism, especially if it is not sugar-coated. I repsect someone who can say what he said like that to people he barely knows who control his career on here, considering how most of us in this RP are pretty much famous people on here, due either to post count, RP involvement, moderatorness, pretty good writing or a combination of all of those. Please, no pictures.