Strange things guards do.

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Iveri Sarothil

Active Member
My guards in all of the smaller towns have an odd habit of suddenly drawing their weapons, crouching, and slinking about in sneak mode gazing at the sky. This goes on for awhile until they sheathe their weapons and return to normal. Then five minutes later it happens again. Um. Invisible dragons, I suppose?
 
My guards seem to enjoy getting stuck waist deep inside of the stairs of the Bannared Mare. They also occasionally start running, swords drawn towards the gate.
 

orca45

What we do in life, echoes in the eternity !
Some of them are drunk. Several asked from me : " I guess that if you can make potions you can make an ale" ... they are very lucky back then they could ride a horse very drunk and avoid DWI ... lol ...
 

Chadonraz

Well-Known Member
^ I have a character who witnesses a fight between a Riften Guard and the Imperial Soldiers (CW done for red team) every time he enters Riften. Sometimes the Guard manages to kill one to three Imperials, sometimes he/she just gets killed right away. Always spawns in the exact same spot next to the inn.

The Solitude guard closest to the wagon guy likes to dance: sometimes when I pass him he's just walking on an invisible treadmill (trying to get in the tower, but failing to notice the entrance?), occasionally doing a pirouette. If I talk to him, he stops to say one of those generic lines, then goes back to his previous activity. :D
 

Benthos

Proud Mer
When any skill reaches a certain level, they will talk about specific things according to a randomly selected line per skill. Can you enchant my sword? Dull old blade can barely cut butter. Destruction magic is fine, just don't go burning down any buildings. Keep your hands to yourself, sneak thief. So you favor the bow? I'm a swordsman myself. Is that fur... coming out of your ears? I find your wolfish grin... unsettling.
When you launch "In My Time of Need" the guards will mention their curved swords and red guards added onto all of these other races in Skyrim.

I prefer it when they update my map with bandits, dragons, vampires, falmer, etc. in a local area. I also like to hear their complaints on their post, not the "my cousin's out fighting dragons and what do I get? Guard duty." but the Markarth and Winterhold complaints
Markarth - "I can't believe I'm posted here, even the beds are made of stone."
Winterhold - "And to think that I used to complain about my Riften post being cold."

Love being able to speak with them and actually hear some indepth things going on like Aventus in Windhelm and the burned down house in Morthal. However, their dialogue is limited and randomly generated depending on you, your skills, and there's that chance they may mention some gossip or post updates for you.
 

Chadonraz

Well-Known Member
I prefer it when they update my map with bandits, dragons, vampires, falmer, etc. in a local area. I also like to hear their complaints on their post, not the "my cousin's out fighting dragons and what do I get? Guard duty." but the Markarth and Winterhold complaints
Markarth - "I can't believe I'm posted here, even the beds are made of stone."
Winterhold - "And to think that I used to complain about my Riften post being cold."

What about Falkreath?
"Just my luck, stuck in the sticks with this crazy old woman."

I don't really know what that means, but it's still funny. :D
 

Benthos

Proud Mer
What about Falkreath?
"Just my luck, stuck in the sticks with this crazy old woman."

I don't really know what that means, but it's still funny. :D
I think he's mentioning one of the farmers' servants.
 

Twiffle

Well-Known Member
 

sticky runes

Well-Known Member
One time in Riften, I found a guard sitting on thin air (or an invisible chair?) and holding a mug of ale, in one of the side streets. They do actually sit around drinking at the table at the training yard at Mistveil Keep when they're taking a break, but why don't they take those helmets off when they eat and drink? You'd need a straw to sip through those face guards...
 

Dallas-Arbiter

Well-Known Member
One time in Riften, I found a guard sitting on thin air (or an invisible chair?) and holding a mug of ale, in one of the side streets. They do actually sit around drinking at the table at the training yard at Mistveil Keep when they're taking a break, but why don't they take those helmets off when they eat and drink? You'd need a straw to sip through those face guards...

Reminds me of Dark Helmet trying to drink coffee.
 

DrunkenMage

Intoxicated Arch-Mage
Sometimes when I enter Whiterun the guard inside the gate suddenly attacks me for no reason. So I hit him back a few times and then put my sword away to pay off a bounty I assumed, but he just acts normal and walks back to his post. I don't even have a bounty yet the bastard attacks me every now and then.

I've come out of Breezehome and there is a dragon attacking, so I use a shout to stop his breath attacking killing any NPC's, and during the battle a guard runs up "You need to stop that... shouting, it's making everybody nervous" There is a bloody dragon attacking Whiterun and I'M THE ONE making everybody nervous. That's gratitude for you.
 

Twiffle

Well-Known Member
when you do the quest ''dragon rising'' if you go to the gate in whiterun with Irileth and listen to her speech about killing the dragon at the watchtower you can hear one of the guards say ''wer'e so dead'' , quality.
 

Daelon DuLac

How do you backstab a Dragon?
The stangest things I've seen guards do is say "Is that fur coming out your ears?" They say this because I'm a werewolf. Here's the funny part. I'm a khajiit. Which means I already have fur coming out of my ears :confused:. So I'm like durr hurr.
A Khurjit werewolf? Ah, if dogs and cats really could have puttins...
 

Finnsson

Prince of Denmark
Spontaneous combustion. I kid you not. Every now and again, a Solitude guard will randomly burst into flames and die, giving my character a thousand gold bounty. I think it's tied to a recent dragon attack, but I can't be too sure. Unfortunately, the guards that see this phenomenon and rush out of the shadows to attack do not catch fire. Go figure.
 
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