My new favourite guard comment ever!

[AS88]

This is a very short post. I've played this game for hundreds of hours, using all sorts of playstyles, but just now I brushed past a guard who said to me;

"An Iron sword, eh? What're you killing, butterflies?"

Never in all this time have I heard this. But as it turns out, I then realised I've never actually carried an iron sword further than Riverwood!

I know it's just one line of dialogue, but it still amazes me how little things make me sit back and think, "wow, there's still a lot I've not experienced yet"

 

[i K33L n0085]

Lol, the guard is kinda right.
I personally like the one they say when you have the ring of namira equipped:

Spoiler

Your breath is foul, what have you been eating?

And Merunes Razor:

Spoiler

(whistles) Who did you have to kill to get that blade?

 

[AS88]

Yeah! The other ones that spring to mind for me are;

MAYBE SPOILERS
"your shield, dwarven make is it not, yet it seems so much... more." "i could've gone into that sanctuary, killed all those dark brothered types, but i was errm, sick that day"

END SPOILERS

even little ones like "ahhh, steel plate, a fine choice of armour" and of course the curved swords one

 

[Kalin of High Rock]

You see those warriors from Hammerfel? They've got curved swords..CURVED. SWORDS.

 

[nerzdadestroyer]

I have a Tee-shirt with "let me guess, someone stole your sweet roll?" on it I love it so much.

 

[AS88]

All of M'aiq the Liar's quotes are my favourites. Especially, "M'aiq does not know what is so special about shouting, M'aiq can shout whenever he wants," but he has so many good ones, I'm still hearing original stuff from him so I always make a point of pestering him into telling me to get lost

 

[Arthur Swift-Sword]

I love it when i raise my pickpocketing skill, and the guards say "If i find your hand in my pocket, i am going to cut it off.." First time i heard it was after i stole a guards sword...ironic.

 

[AS88]

It grinds my gears when guards address their honest and noble thane with "hands to yourself, sneak thief" or "is that fur, coming out of your ears?"

After I became Harbinger I was still getting "Ah, you're that new member of the Companions. So you, what, fetch the mead?" The number of guards I've nearly beheaded for that....

 

[Arthur Swift-Sword]

 

[Unit7]

Speaking of guard dialogue... for those who have Dawnguard. Can ANYONE explain why the guards will sometimes say their vampire related dialogue in that weird voice? It cracks me up everytime.

I think I have played the same playstyle for too long because I can't really remember the last time a guard said something different too me.

 

[dunklunk]

I enjoy the one where they say, "I know you. . . ." And before they continue, I turn on them and utter, "No! No, you don't know me! Unless you've held my hand while walking through Riften's market; unless you allow me to "massage" your neck muscles; unless you ventured into caverns so deep that there was no trace of light; and unless you wanna hand me that gourd for potential poisonous purposes. . . .

 

[Unit7]

Oh the "Wait, I know you." comment is HILLARIOUS when a guard says that after they kill you.

All I can think is 'Yeah. I'm the Dragonborn. Thanks guard for completely screwing over the world. Was it worth it? Killing me because I accidentally hit some guy while defending your city from a dragon? Hmm? Was it?"

or something like that. Usually just the whole dragonborn part. but the other part is valid. Especially since Dawnguard came out. Vampires attacking cities and you want in on the action but they are completely swarmed with people. Almost gaurnteed to hit someone.

 

[AS88]

I TOTALLY feel for all those guards right now, I'm suffering with knee cartilage damage after too much basketball. No wonder they stand around all day doing nothing :/

 

[Medea]

"Put on some damn clothes already!"

 

[Arthur Swift-Sword]

"Put on some damn clothes already!"

"Its going to get chilly tonight...might want to atleast cover up your delicates."

 

[Tosh Raka]

"that mace... Get it away from me! get. It. Away."

Oh molag u evil little man

 

[Lizzifer]

"You smell like wet dog fur."

 

[Akim]

Oh the "Wait, I know you." comment is HILLARIOUS when a guard says that after they kill you.

who still dies to guards? I just went through and killed everyone outside in whiterun with a dagger equipped. No shield or spells. I think I would have to try really hard for a guard to kill me. And I'm not min/maxed or very high level.

 

[Lizzifer]

who still dies to guards? I just went through and killed everyone outside in whiterun with a dagger equipped. No shield or spells. I think I would have to try really hard for a guard to kill me. And I'm not min/maxed or very high level.

Maybe not everyone is as big of a Skyrim overlord master as you are, Captain Invinsible.

 

[nerzdadestroyer]

who still dies to guards? I just went through and killed everyone outside in whiterun with a dagger equipped. No shield or spells. I think I would have to try really hard for a guard to kill me. And I'm not min/maxed or very high level.

I have to disagree here. being killed by guards is fairly easy, they usually come in numbers and have tough armor. you must be quite skilled then, sir