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nope.
You can do what is right without picking sides. And saving a life does not make you a Stormcloak because that person happens to be one. You have to do the Civil War questline in order to actually join Ulfric/Tullius.
It makes no difference, you can join whichever. There are also choices with another "group" within the game, Dark Brotherhood. Something that totally surprised me!
Just make saves, and if you don't like how something is going, go back to it and go another direction.
It doesn't. That quest doesn't effect the civil war in any way, you can still pick who you want to side with. I don't believe you even see him again, or at lest I haven't.