I am a female Khajiit assassin, a nightblade by trade. I was born on the road between Elsweyr and Hammerfell. I never knew my parents because the caravan was attacked by bandits when I was a kitten. One of the bandits was a Khajiit who was on an assignment to kill the leader of the bandit band. He hid me from the other bandits, and when his task was finished, he came back to get me.
So I was raised in the Dark Brotherhood as one of them. But I know that members of the Dark Brotherhood are not popular with most of the people in Tamriel, so I lie about my past:
"I am Rissa, adopted as a child by the Temple of Dibella in Stros M'Kai. I didn't like the kinds of things they would make me do there. You know how boring it can be when you spend all day on your knees—praying and such. Anyway, I didn't like it there, so I left. || Well, actually I did not leave voluntarily. The priestesses in the temple thought that it was inappropriate for a sybil to have sharp teeth and claws such as I have. There were some... incidents. To make a long story short, they kicked me out. || Of course, I was talking about claw marks accidentally left on the furniture. I was a young Khajiit back then, and I did not know any better. There was a time when I tried to cover up a mess on the carpet. And once I mistook the baptismal pool for a bath and left the water soapy. With the high priestess's favorite charmed necklace at the bottom of it. Each of my mistakes, innocent though it was, annoyed the Dibellans, and eventually they lost patience with me and decided that I wasn't their sybil after all."
How do you like my lie? Creative, yes? I thought so. How far I go with it depends on the questions somebody asks. I don't always tell the whole thing. That's bad form for a liar. If the questions go on for too long, I know that the other person is suspicious, so I try to change the subject. Here are some of the things I try to change the subject to:
"Do you see the Argonian female with her boyfriend over there? That is her third mate in as many months. Her real name is Numeez Nagmus, but her nickname among the Argonians is Lifts-Her-Tail. I cannot imagine why."
"In Cyrodiil, whoever can do something, does it. Whoever can't do it, tries to teach others how to do it. And those who can neither do nor teach go into administration and mess up what everybody else is doing."
"Do you know much about alchemy? When I was with the Dibellans I learned from a visiting priestess from High Rock—her name was Melisande Branel—how to mix a potion of damitol. It is reputed to cure all forms of mental illness. I have seen the results for myself. It is very impressive. You seem like someone who could use a bottle. I happen to have one with me. Only 1 gold."
(Heh heh. The "potion of damitol" is a very fast poison that I developed from selected mushrooms in Skyrim.)
"Maybe you have heard about the Khajiit weaponsmith named Vajina Hammurhir. It is a perfectly respectible name in Elsweyr, but whenever she travels with her caravan to Skyrim, the Nords laugh. I cannot figure out why."
"Oh my. I think that I saw Leguminus Gasianus over there. I don't want to talk with him. There is a reason for this... but I don't have time to explain. See you later!"
So I was raised in the Dark Brotherhood as one of them. But I know that members of the Dark Brotherhood are not popular with most of the people in Tamriel, so I lie about my past:
"I am Rissa, adopted as a child by the Temple of Dibella in Stros M'Kai. I didn't like the kinds of things they would make me do there. You know how boring it can be when you spend all day on your knees—praying and such. Anyway, I didn't like it there, so I left. || Well, actually I did not leave voluntarily. The priestesses in the temple thought that it was inappropriate for a sybil to have sharp teeth and claws such as I have. There were some... incidents. To make a long story short, they kicked me out. || Of course, I was talking about claw marks accidentally left on the furniture. I was a young Khajiit back then, and I did not know any better. There was a time when I tried to cover up a mess on the carpet. And once I mistook the baptismal pool for a bath and left the water soapy. With the high priestess's favorite charmed necklace at the bottom of it. Each of my mistakes, innocent though it was, annoyed the Dibellans, and eventually they lost patience with me and decided that I wasn't their sybil after all."
How do you like my lie? Creative, yes? I thought so. How far I go with it depends on the questions somebody asks. I don't always tell the whole thing. That's bad form for a liar. If the questions go on for too long, I know that the other person is suspicious, so I try to change the subject. Here are some of the things I try to change the subject to:
"Do you see the Argonian female with her boyfriend over there? That is her third mate in as many months. Her real name is Numeez Nagmus, but her nickname among the Argonians is Lifts-Her-Tail. I cannot imagine why."
"In Cyrodiil, whoever can do something, does it. Whoever can't do it, tries to teach others how to do it. And those who can neither do nor teach go into administration and mess up what everybody else is doing."
"Do you know much about alchemy? When I was with the Dibellans I learned from a visiting priestess from High Rock—her name was Melisande Branel—how to mix a potion of damitol. It is reputed to cure all forms of mental illness. I have seen the results for myself. It is very impressive. You seem like someone who could use a bottle. I happen to have one with me. Only 1 gold."
(Heh heh. The "potion of damitol" is a very fast poison that I developed from selected mushrooms in Skyrim.)
"Maybe you have heard about the Khajiit weaponsmith named Vajina Hammurhir. It is a perfectly respectible name in Elsweyr, but whenever she travels with her caravan to Skyrim, the Nords laugh. I cannot figure out why."
"Oh my. I think that I saw Leguminus Gasianus over there. I don't want to talk with him. There is a reason for this... but I don't have time to explain. See you later!"
