Spoiler RP Controversy - The Companions -

[Thargan the Red]

Okay so, hello everyone, I'm fairly new here, made the account just to write this down because of the many posts about The Companions and how people discuss about them. And since I'm a lore maniac i couldnt resist the urge to come and end this with the conclusion i never found in the posts i read.

No, I wont talk about the good and bad things of being a werewolf, and forget about considering a Khajiit or Argonian turning into one, thats ridiculous. Who on earth would consider the cat or an iguana turning into a dog? From reptile to mammal? Half cat, Half wolf with dragon blood?
Come on, this is serious roleplay, so if you are also one of the pesky players that fast-travel from Whiterun to the Honningbrew Meadery then you are welcome to turn around and leave.

I'll be straight to the point and consider myself as a third party spectator. Let's begin...

Good Things:

-They are the descendants of Ysgramor's 500 Mighty Companions, that came from Atmora to reconquer the human cities from the snow elves and drive them off Skyrim. Honorable band of warriors, led by the Atmoran hero and king who then started an entire dynasty in the First Era.

-They still are guardians in Skyrim even though their numbers are extremely low, and help the people with their deeds.

-Some of them still remember the original 500 Companions and the honour that came with the knowledge and membership.

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Bad Things:

-Since they are a private military unit they need to make money by themselves, ergo, becoming a band of mercenaries. More thugs than warriors. And the people know it.

-Many of the jobs "for the people" include roughing up people without any reason, which isn't really honorable. And only for the profit. (Alright, i'll admit I too had this urge to reform Belethor's behaviour once, the guy just crossed the line.)

-Some of the current members are in only for the coin. Could have joined the Dark Brotherhood for that... they at least pay well.

-They are cursed, and even though it's not their fault, some of them are not only not trying to find a cure but they also embrace it.

-The ones that embrace the curse (Aela) worship a Daedric Prince. Which also makes you a worshipper aswell (perks and totems of Hircine? remember?).

-War against The Silver Hand and Vigilants of Stendarr. While it is understandable the fact that they have to fight for their lives, it is not understandable their reason to delete them from the map, alright most of the mentioned guild's members hold a grudge against werewolves in general, but who can blame them?. The Companions are in control of their werewolves capacities, meaning they wont go on a rampage killing people, meaining they could talk about it, reach an agreement and even clean Skyrim from the rampaging werewolves together or at least not cross paths. But no.

-Even though they are guardians of the people in Skyrim, they take no part during the Civil War, they dont even appear. How honorable is to dissapear during the biggest moment of need for the Nord people?

-If they die while still being werewolves they won't go to Sovngarde, they'll end up in Hircine's hunting grounds and become his hounds. Which isn't really appealing for a Nord warrior. (this would only be positive if you RP a character that hungers for the hunt or worships Hircine)

-They help you, the Dragonborn, to hunt down dragons. And while in itself that is a good thing, it is completly akward to see a bunch of werewolf mercenaries helping you to take down a dragon. Would be nicer without the "werewolf" part.

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So in the end we have more bad sides than good ones. And the good ones being only in the name "The Companions" and their past, nothing about the present (no, I'm not counting Kodlak since he later dies nor Vilkas since he does nothing about it).

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General Roleplay Options:

If you wanted to RP a honorable Nord warrior, this is not really a good place to be. Maybe just for the name and the chat options with Tsun in Sovngarde, but that's all.

If you wanted to RP a Nord Hunter, this may enter in conflict with your ability to turn into a werewolf. Why you may ask? Think it this way, you are a Nord hunter born in Skyrim, you adapted yourself to the region and the wilderness, it feels nice to hunt the many creatures in the land with your own skills, your bow and arrow, traps maybe. But then, you can transform into a beast, so what's the point of refining bow skills, survival techniques and confront the challenges as a human when you can just turn into a creature that is already good at all that by nature?

If you wanted to RP a mercenary, this could be the best guild you could join, though i may also suggest to not join it due to the werewolf thingy. But who knows? maybe you want the power that comes with the coin?

If you wanted to RP the Dragonborn or Dragon Slayer, then don't even consider this an option. A werewolf with dragon blood that breathes fire and hunts dragons? No more Skooma for you.

If you wanted to RP a full-time werewolf, same as above, this could and could not be the best guild to join. Good, because of the perks, totems or Hircine and the "kill the werewolf hunters" missions. Bad, because if you want to go deeper in your RP then you dont want to stick to people in a busy city like Whiterun, you want to be in the wilds, get a mod to be a werewolf permanently and live like that and another mod to create yoru own pack of wolves and werewolves.

If you wanted to RP a follower/hunter of Hircine, this is perfect. You can take their missions and keep it as secondary rp, the main focus would be on the werewolf part. With mods for more followers you can take the entire Circle with you and make them transform with you when you engage, making it feel as if you were an Alpha, which is awesome. And since Hircine is the excemption to the "Daedric Prince = Evil" rule due to his neutral nature, you can avoid doing evil stuff like mass murdering. (maybe just some bandit cleaning). You can consider this RP as a semi-lawful good/neutral werewolf pack. (maybe even get a mod to transform and not be aggroed by everyone?)

If you wanted to RP a Daedric influenced character, this could be one option since the werewolves are Hircine's creation. Though, if you wanted to be more evil-ish then you'd be better following Molag Bal, taking his mace, daedric armor and becoming a vampire (vampires are Molag Bal's creation).

If you wanted to RP the werewolf vs vampire character, it could be bad since to legally kill vampires as part of the Dawnguard you have to fight beside the Vigilants of Stendarr, and they also kill werewolves.

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While the werewolf curse is one of the main issues, it can be cured. But tell me, you are basically forced to transform to continue taking missions for The Companions, that doesn't really feel nice, does it?.
And it's not like you can just avoid transforming and brush it off later by curing yourself, well, you can but it would completly break all the immersion and story of your character. It's a fatal blow in terms of roleplaying.

And staying on the same topic, you can cure some of the members from The Companions. Which is sort of good if you had in mind to reform the entire guild and return it to it's rightful glory. But then there are the flaws of Bethesda. The npcs will still use the werewolf lines like hair growing on your ears or smell like wet dog, and the members of the circle will still use dialogues as if they still were werewolves. The cherry on top of the cake would be the fact that Aela cannot be cured, and that she is a loyal worshipper of Hircine. (Also if you marry from time to time she will say "something has shifted in the moons brother"... brotherzoned by your own wife...)

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Conclusion:

Do not think of them as The 500 Mighty Companions, they are just using the name because they are their remnants.

They are not honorable Nord warriors even though they think that of themselves. If they really were, they wouldnt be falling to just working for the coin. They even broke their tradition by including an imperial and a Dunmer. Ysgramor would cry if he saw how the guild was right now.

They are mercenaries, thugs, bounty hunters. They pay, you fight.

They are half human half Daedric creature. A non-natural beast. Can be cured but then it's up to you to find the "excuse" within your roleplay to be one to then cure it. Hard but doable.

In the end, we could say that if the main reason you considered The Companions an option was because you wanted the Nord Warrior RP, then I can tell you that was the wrong choice. You are better off with being the champion of the Stormcloaks and fulfilling your role as Dragonborn, which in itself has a lot of Nord-ish rp, Talos was Nord and Ysgramor Atmoran (Nord ancestor), both founders of the human civilization in Tamriel.

Let's hope this text wall cleared any doubt.

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As final tip, I could recommend to any Argonian player that wanted to turn into something. There is a mod called "Nature of the beast II", that will let you turn into a green dragon/reptile humanoid beast called "Greenbane", i call it weredragon but thats up to you. It can go invisible, climb trees and walls, smell, night vision, etc. You even encounter wild ones if the option is enabled.

 

[Seanu Reaves]

Since the only werewolves are The Circle, it does present a problem that if you were someone who wanted to rise in the ranks you would have to take the Werewolf blood. Though the beast blood doesn't make you a daedra, it does create an issue with your RP. I mean it would be a dick move to nitpick everything (that private military unit/company is by definition a mercenary band/group/organization), but I would say this.

Werewolf blood I feel gives your RP more detail in how your character responds to the news and truth about the Circle. I would love to talk to you about such things. Which I believe is why you wrote this in the first place.

Welcome to the Forums, and wonderful article/post.

 

[Thargan the Red]

Thank you, I see we are on the same page here. And yes, like i mentioned in the post, one of the main issues is the werewolf part. Even if refusing the curse you could advance, there are still werewolves in your band of warriors.

And yeah I listed few RP options where being a werewolf is sort of a good thing. But even so, there is a lot of factors that can and will break any intention of immersion when you cross paths with the Companions.

I still have to find a mod that will allow the cure for all of them so at least the option where you can reform the companions is possible.

And will be posting more about this kidn of thing. So thanks for reading it.

 

[DrunkenMage]

No, I wont talk about the good and bad things of being a werewolf, and forget about considering a Khajiit or Argonian turning into one, thats ridiculous. Who on earth would consider the cat or an iguana turning into a dog? From reptile to mammal? Half cat, Half wolf with dragon blood?

Daedric magic doesn't exactly have to follow logic.

-Since they are a private military unit they need to make money by themselves, ergo, becoming a band of mercenaries. More thugs than warriors. And the people know it.

"There's been a group called the Companions for over 4000 years. It's been many different things in that time. A conquering army. Ruthless mercenaries. A band of drunken louts. And the esteemed company you see before you."

Organizations change over 4000 years. Their original purpose was an army, conquering Skyrim, so I don't think that would have applied after Skyrim was taken.

War against The Silver Hand and Vigilants of Stendarr. While it is understandable the fact that they have to fight for their lives, it is not understandable their reason to delete them from the map, alright most of the mentioned guild's members hold a grudge against werewolves in general, but who can blame them?. The Companions are in control of their werewolves capacities, meaning they wont go on a rampage killing people, meaining they could talk about it, reach an agreement and even clean Skyrim from the rampaging werewolves together or at least not cross paths. But no.

Most mentioned kill werewolves on sight. Torture them in some cases. People fear werewolves, coming out and saying it doesn't help public image. They would be hunted and killed.

-Even though they are guardians of the people in Skyrim, they take no part during the Civil War, they dont even appear. How honorable is to dissapear during the biggest moment of need for the Nord people?

They explain they don't get involved in politics. There is no honor in it, also because it would split the Companions if they took sides. Every man and woman being her own, doesn't mean they all share the same views. Knights of the Nine got involved in a war, split their order apart and pitted them against each other.

 

[Wildroses]

While the werewolf curse is one of the main issues, it can be cured. But tell me, you are basically forced to transform to continue taking missions for The Companions, that doesn't really feel nice, does it?.

And it's not like you can just avoid transforming and brush it off later by curing yourself, well, you can but it would completly break all the immersion and story of your character. It's a fatal blow in terms of roleplaying.

Oh you have no idea how much I agree with this! But it doesn't stop there either. The first and only time I did the Companion's questline I accepted becoming a werewolf (much later I was annoyed to realised any conservative warrior characters I RPed would not be able to join the Companions) but when I had Aela tell me: "Okay, to celebrate your transformation we are going to kill an entire fort full of Silver Hands" I was a little taken aback there was no conversation option along the line of: "I think I've figured out why the Silver Hand hate werewolves so much, Aela," or "Are you sure this is an honourable thing to do, Aela" or even: "Go screw yourself, Aela." I was less than impressed at being forced by Skyrim to help Aela in her bloody vengeance plots as well.

Such actions don't sit well for a good roleplay, especially as a band of warriors with a reputation for honour would attract people wanting to be good. Those characters I could create who would enjoy being a werewolf probably wouldn't go near the Companions anyway as they are not interested in honour or being tied to a guild. I refuse to let my characters take advantage of my knowledge of the quest lines. Only one has been a clairvoyant. They have no idea that werewolfism is an option, and when they discover it is they have no idea it is only temporary.

They seem pretty minor quibbles, but such lack of choice really kills roleplaying. I don't see why Kodlak has to wait until your a werewolf to send you after a witch head, or why dobbing Aela into Kodlak isn't an option. It's especially disappointing in a game which prides itself on giving players the freedom to be whoever they want.

 

[Thargan the Red]

DrunkenMage

I was trying to criticize it from an ideal point of view aswell. I know some things that even though they are akward or "just no". They are possible. Daedric magic doesnt follow logic but if you look at it from a common sense-ish point of view, it just doesn't look right. It looks and sounds ridiculous.

The Companions have been changing, yes. But if you focused on a RP where you want to be an honourable warrior fighting for the nords, then the current Companions aren't the ideal since not only they turned into plain mercenaries but fell into Daedric worshipping. Which doesnt sound appealing nor honourable at all. If Aela could be cured, then I could try to eat my pride and let her take me with her revenge on the silver hand.

The Silver Hand thing was an idea, bearing in mind that the members of the Circle are the only sentient werewolves known. The argument still is valid, well, till the guys from the silver hand still refuse and start to hunt them down again, which is highly probable.

Jorvaskrr is in the core of the siege, even poor Heimskr got his house destroyed. So, at least to defend their home... they dont care about politics, but for Talos' sake, the war was just outside of their own home! And if war isn't honorable, then roughing up people with no reason, and only serving if the people pay is honorable?

*Edit* Now that i think about it... they call themselves warriors, they want to fight, blood and steel stuff, think of themselves honorable. But they dislike wars? The word "warrior" ethimologically comes from the word "war". How can there be a warrior that dislikes wars? Still my point, they could open the door and enjoy the slaughter while drinking mead. They could at least be somewhere instead of just dissapear or hide.

Some members of the Companions are grey-beards aswell, a family that sides with the Stormcloaks. Dang, if the stormcloaks win the new Jarl of Whiterun would be found in Jorvaskrr more often than in his own palace. So there actually is some political influence.

Wildroses

Sadly there is so much more that Skyrim forces on the player u.u
There is a mod that deletes the quest objective from your journal, and from the same creator a mod that changes the dialogue from the quest givers and gives you an option to completly refuse anything. You know there are npcs that will chat you till they give you 3 options and all of them are synonims of "ok, lets do this".

The bad part is that you cant advance in the game if you refuse, be it vanilla or modded. I maybe can accept the rare action that makes me break my immersion, I can try to do so under the excuse "there is no other way to do this", like the moment where you have to go to riften to talk with Mercer i think it was, during the blades quest, but he will ask you to do the reverse pickpocket thing there first.

And i was in a legal good character I almost considered leaving a small "I'm sorry, i'll return it later" paper note in the safe chest.

 

[Naginata]

The first time I did the Companions questline, I was on my do-everything type character and felt really disappointed with the fact that I HAD to become a werewolf. I just wanted to be a warrior and do whatever the guild demanded, but I did NOT want to become a werewolf. What happened to the good old days of the Fighters' Guild in Oblivion? Now THAT was a nice guild...

I've never thought about making a full-time werewolf character, but that would be something really neat to try. My cousin became a werewolf and roamed the wilds in his game, and he was able to stay in werewolf form for days and days because of all the animals/people he killed on his journey. It would be neat to try a full-time werewolf character who is confined to the wilds, never to enter a city for any reason. Now that would be a serious challenge, but also it would be seriously fun and interesting. Gotta keep that idea tucked away in my mind.

 

[AS88]

Some of my characters join the Companions only to leave them behind once they find out about the infiltration of beast blood. It's an important part of some of their stories, where they learn not to be so naive and to see things for themselves before passing judgement.

Also, you mention that the "grey-beards" are affiliated with the Companions. The Greybeards are the followers of the Way of the Voice at High Hrothgar. It is the Stormcloak-supporting Grey-Manes who are affiliated with the Companions; Eorlund works the Skyforge (but isn't a Companion) and Vignar is more of a public figure these days and doesn't seem to do much except drink at Jorrvaskr saying he was a Companion "once". Skjor fought in the Great War, so there is some history with war among the Companions' previous experience.

They claim not to be interested in the war due to it being borne out of politics and petty squabbles, although I'd expect that if Skyrim was united and attack by the Dominion, the Companions would fight against them to protect a united Skyrm.

 

[DrunkenMage]

The Companions rough up people who need roughing up. Those who have done or are doing something people are disliking, which is why you tell them "You know what you need to do".

Just because they rough someone up, doesn't make them any less honorable. Nords like brawls, hence why they are like your best buddy afterwards. They also clear predators, deal with bandits, forsworn, rogue wizards and escaped prisoners. Yes, they're mercenaries. They tell you that when you meet them, who they were 4000 years ago aside. They tell you they fight for coin, honor and glory. Asking for a fee for their services isn't bad, many groups ask for a fee. Even the Fighters Guild in the rest of Tamriel.

Jorvaskrr is in the core of the siege, even poor Heimskr got his house destroyed. So, at least to defend their home... they dont care about politics, but for Talos' sake, the war was just outside of their own home! And if war isn't honorable, then roughing up people with no reason, and only serving if the people pay is honorable?

How do you know they have no reason? Offering their services to people who pay is normal. They're mercenaries, not the Red Cross.

*Edit* Now that i think about it... they call themselves warriors, they want to fight, blood and steel stuff, think of themselves honorable. But they dislike wars? The word "warrior" ethimologically comes from the word "war". How can there be a warrior that dislikes wars? Still my point, they could open the door and enjoy the slaughter while drinking mead. They could at least be somewhere instead of just dissapear or hide.

Civil War. Skyrim is fighting itself, so the Companions getting involved isn't right. Not all of them support one side, and again they're mercenaries. They won't get involved in petty squabbles between Jarls. Otherwise the Companions would be at war every weekend, since the Jarls squabble a lot.

So there actually is some political influence.

Indeed there is, Kodlak's word is respected in all the Holds of Skyrim.

Kodlak Whitemane is the Harbinger of the Companions. He does not give orders, but his word is highly respected both inside Jorrvaskr and through all the nine Holds. - Loading Screen

If Kodlak started a rebellion, he'd probably have the support of every single Jarl and majority of the population.

Such actions don't sit well for a good roleplay, especially as a band of warriors with a reputation for honour would attract people wanting to be good.

"Being honorable might make you a good man, but it doesn't make you right." - Aldis

 

[conchvegas]

Some of my characters join the Companions only to leave them behind once they find out about the infiltration of beast blood. It's an important part of some of their stories, where they learn not to be so naive and to see things for themselves before passing judgement.

That's what I'm going to do. My character is a Khajiit and it doesn't make much sense for her to turn into a werewolf. So as soon as she finds out about the werewolf thing, She's going to be "See ya! I'm outta here."

 

[AS88]

Some of my characters join the Companions only to leave them behind once they find out about the infiltration of beast blood. It's an important part of some of their stories, where they learn not to be so naive and to see things for themselves before passing judgement.

That's what I'm going to do. My character is a Khajiit and it doesn't make much sense for her to turn into a werewolf. So as soon as she finds about the werewolf thing, She's going to be "See ya! I'm outta here."

It also doesn't make much sense that she'd be allowed into the Companions

 

[conchvegas]

Some of my characters join the Companions only to leave them behind once they find out about the infiltration of beast blood. It's an important part of some of their stories, where they learn not to be so naive and to see things for themselves before passing judgement.

That's what I'm going to do. My character is a Khajiit and it doesn't make much sense for her to turn into a werewolf. So as soon as she finds about the werewolf thing, She's going to be "See ya! I'm outta here."

It also doesn't make much sense that she'd be allowed into the Companions

Ah well. Didn't quite think it through, but what's done is done so I'll try and make the best of it. I'm new to the whole RPing thing, as I haven't RP'd with any of my previous characters, so I'll allow for a few mistakes.

 

[DrunkenMage]

It also doesn't make much sense that she'd be allowed into the Companions

It once didn't make sense for a Dark Elf to rule the Imperial Empire. Yet she did anyway.

It does make sense, since the Companions welcome all now. Once they didn't, but that ended with Harbingers Cirroc and Henantier. One Redguard and the other Altmer.

 

[DrunkenMage]

They claim not to be interested in the war due to it being borne out of politics and petty squabbles, although I'd expect that if Skyrim was united and attack by the Dominion, the Companions would fight against them to protect a united Skyrm.

Little interesting bit of lore, for all the lore nuts.

Several hundred years after the death of Ysgramor, the Companions as we now know them were soldiers for hire, little better than mercenaries. Our services could be purchased for the fighting of wars, but the commitment to individual honor meant that often Shield-Brothers would be forced to face each other on the field of battle. The bonds of honor which bind the Companions threaten to break, until Mryfwiil, in his wisdom, decreed that we would no longer be party to any war or political conflict of any kind. Because of his steady hand, the Companions today are known as impartial arbiters of honor, in addition to their glories on the field of battle.

 

[AS88]

They claim not to be interested in the war due to it being borne out of politics and petty squabbles, although I'd expect that if Skyrim was united and attack by the Dominion, the Companions would fight against them to protect a united Skyrm.

Little interesting bit of lore, for all the lore nuts.

Several hundred years after the death of Ysgramor, the Companions as we now know them were soldiers for hire, little better than mercenaries. Our services could be purchased for the fighting of wars, but the commitment to individual honor meant that often Shield-Brothers would be forced to face each other on the field of battle. The bonds of honor which bind the Companions threaten to break, until Mryfwiil, in his wisdom, decreed that we would no longer be party to any war or political conflict of any kind. Because of his steady hand, the Companions today are known as impartial arbiters of honor, in addition to their glories on the field of battle.

That's nice.

You still don't think they'd get involved in the second Great War if it came to Skyrim, though?

(ps I admit partial defeat on the Khajiit thing )

 

[raido KASAI]

For me, the beast blood was my choice for a handful of reasons.

1) While I won't fully rehash Raido's background (more in depth here,) the bond between comrades is something that he had that helped him move forward after the loss of his parents. That bond was taken away in the events leading up to the beginning of Skyrim. Sharing the blood of the Circle is the literal embodiment of forging a complete kinship bond with another. Often for normal friendships, both people share part of themselves but often just parts each person chooses. There's the part you let everyone see and the part you don't.

Sharing the beast blood is different though. In many ways for those inside, you put your whole self on the table for others to see, both the good and the bad, all your strengths and all your weaknesses. Everyone in the group has massive enough personal strength that they don't need to have someone else to help them survive, rather they choose to be around others like themselves because they want to not because they need to. There's a type of purity in that camaraderie.

2) The beast blood for Raido is also a figurative representation of the raw emotions he struggles to master after the loss of his family. If a person is strong enough to control them, emotion can be an excellent positive motivational force, but if someone isn't strong enough to master control over them, they will become destructive. The werewolf powers have a similar nature.

3) Not having to worry about a myriad of diseases is handy.

 

[AS88]

Sharing the blood of the Circle is the literal embodiment of forging a complete kinship bond with another.

Did the Daedric influence not bother you, though?

I like the concept, anyway.

 

[Seanu Reaves]

The Companions have been changing, yes. But if you focused on a RP where you want to be an honourable warrior fighting for the nords, then the current Companions aren't the ideal since not only they turned into plain mercenaries but fell into Daedric worshipping. Which doesnt sound appealing nor honourable at all. If Aela could be cured, then I could try to eat my pride and let her take me with her revenge on the silver hand.

I want to point out that they aren't Daedra Worshipers. What had happened was one of the old harbingers how many years ago, made a deal with the Glenmoril Witches Coven. Kodlak specifically says he wants to go to Soverngard and not to the hunting grounds. And honestly I think becoming mercenaries is a slightly more honorable turn than what they were, a band of dudes who decided to take over their country with a genocidal amount of glee. That being said I think Aela is the only one who you could for sure even theorize is a Hircine worshiper. Due to what we actually know about her family.

As for honor you may want to look at where we are. We are in Skyrim which is more based of Norse honor than the normal European honor or even East Asian armor most of us are used to fiction presenting. I mean an honorable Viking was a successful raider... You know people who killed priests, looted, and picked villages dry. Before developing basically a mercenary/merchant relation with the rest of Europe and the Byzantine empire.

That being said I guess the point is being a werewolf was worked into the culture, but they are still not Daedra Worshipers.

P.S. On a side note I really do like the Wolf Motiff it was able to obtain. That idea that they are an accepting pack of wolves that only cares about one's merit.

 

[raido KASAI]

Sharing the blood of the Circle is the literal embodiment of forging a complete kinship bond with another.

Did the Daedric influence not bother you, though?

I like the concept, anyway.

Not initially. Raido was 19 at the start of the story so the grand top-down view of life matters wasn't a universal exercise. There is a split in the Circle between those who think it's a gift and those that think it's a curse. Raido doesn't really see it by nature of purely being an either/or thing. It's a tool that if used properly can be a gift, if used poorly can be a curse. Ultimately though he does choose as Kodlak did, to get rid of it.

Personally though, he feels that if he is strong enough to conquer his own demons, nothing else can be harder because nothing else is stronger.

Good thought exercise.

 

[Seanu Reaves]

I think until a character realizes the un-restful sleep aspect of Werewolf-ism It honestly isn't that big of a deal. I mean for the most part what defines you as a warrior is your skill not your condition. E.x. The concept of the Blind Weaponmaster.

So it shouldn't cripple your RP or stain your armor. If anything you could tie it to one of your characters trait. Pride, determination, apathy, courage, etc.