I've built all three -
Lakeview Manor isn't bad for a family, it's easy to get, and in a good "middle" location - ish.
Windstead Manor, depending on the wife, is by far the best for a family. I have Lydia as Broc's wife. She loved Windstead the most by far. I also like Windstead because of the fishery, and my three-year-old for some reason is obsessed with Slaughterfish lol
Heljarchen - my favorite for a "reclusive" main home. My Khajiit will have Heljarchen as his residence, it just seems "out of the way." It's close by giants however, so I'm too much a fan of it for families. I seriously think of like the "Batcave" cept above ground, in the middle of a tundra, and that for me is Heljarchen. I don't know why though, it is what it is!
as for ascetics -
Windstead Manor (notice a bias here?) I think has the best view with Solitude off the master bedroom's porch.
although
Lakeview well, has a lake
...instead of a marsh
if I were building all three for the same character -
Windstead - home: kicthen, bedroom, mine has trophy room, maybe storage instead - but honestly there's plenty of storage in these homes
Lakeview - vacation spot - kitchen, bedroom, trophy room (again)
Heljarchen - working space - library, alchemy, greenhouse
basically, there's plenty of storage, so no worries there. I don't really get having the enchanting and alchemy towers, even though I heavily use both. I also don't build the armory, because I just make one down in the cellar.
"bedrooms" is a misnomer - it puts a master bed, and two twin sized beds in the
same room!! If you have kids in real life, you'll understand the idiocy of this!
So I still build it, I just don't build the kid's beds. Makes it a master suite fit for a king, jarl, or
Dovahkiin.
If I could mod it to have any wing how I wanted it -
West Wing:
I love the bedroom for family types, greenhouse for a bachelor, so that's fine.
North Wing:
Alchemy Tower if I could but with an enchanting table as well
, or the trophy room for a family spread.
East Wing:
Kitchen - I think it's a blast. I love to cook in real life, so this probably plays heavily into it. BUT, don't discount the food, their properties now, have some good stuff in them depending on the meal. Juniper Berry Crostata is a favorite of mine - I never have enough butter.
or maybe a Library. But that's tough for me, because I am so biased towards the kitchen. However, I know plenty of people who think the "kitchen" option is the silliest addition to Hearthfire, so to each their own
hope this helps!