Stains Eternal - M'aditi the Oath-Breaker

[Kaleia]

3rd of Frostfall

Many long days have passed since M'aditi last journaled. Many adventures.

M'aditi set out for the trader's lost treasure two days after he last wrote, due to rain. M'aditi spent that lost time meditating upon the words he is coming to understand. When sun shown, this one and Faendal climbed the mighty mountain to the nord ruin, and this one was excited - nord ruin meant words, maybe.

Bandits barred our entrance, but this one calmed them and these two passed in, and deeper into the ruin. This one crept carefully, for M'aditi knew the draugr never truly slept, and likely would yet be encountered. Slowly, slowly this one crept, and this one witnessed another bandit set off a trap that rained arrows upon him. M'aditi studied the trapped room for some time, and asked Faendal to stand back as M'aditi tested his theory of its workings. Luck was on M'aditi's side, and the door barring the path sprang open.

Further in, deeper in, we went. We? M'aditi finds himself slipping into using I and me, we and us, recently, a way of speaking this one has not used in decades, since this one was a Brother.

This one heard cries, loud cries for help, and this one entered a room covered in webs. A great spider descended upon M'aditi, but it crooned under the calm of this nice Khajiit's hands. The bandit who had cried, who was caught in the beast's web, revealed himself to be the bearer of the trader's claw, and promised to share treasure with this one if he let him down. But that is not why M'aditi freed him. M'aditi freed him because this one is a sweet and kind Khajiit.

The bandit lied though, and fled with quick feet. M'aditi and Faendal followed quickly, pursued him, then heard a cry from him and watched him fly across the room to our feet. Draugr. We disposed of them, very easily, very quickly.

Deeper now, and more draugr, and a swinging blade trap. This one passed through it to turn it off, and as this one turned back to assist Faendal, an arrow found purchase in this one's shoulder.

M'aditi fell. Woke up in one of the bandit beds near the entrance, rescued and tended to by Faendal. Because M'aditi was weak, Faendal made trips down for food, and when M'aditi was well again, after a week, these two continued their journey into the deep.

A great door blocked the way for well nearly an hour, before this one noticed markings on both the door and the retrieved trader's treasure, a golden claw. The markings were aligned, and the door slipped free.

Now, this one and Faendal emerged into a great chamber, greater than any M'aditi had seen before, and as this one peered through the mist he spied the wall of words. This one saw no sign of a roaring draugr, but was wary of one as he climbed to the wall.

Sure enough, this one's soul found purchase in the wall, and a word whispered itself to M'aditi.

Fus, force.

Now, four words. Krii, Feim, Strun, Fus.

But more words adorned the wall, ones that didn't call to M'aditi, and this one memorized the short phrase.

Het nok faal Vahlok
deinmaar do Dovahgolz
ahrk an fus do unslaad
hahgol ahrk volum

This one meditated on the words long this evening.

Here lies the Guardian
keeper of Dragonstone
and a force of eternal
rage and darkness

This one will write more of those later.

This one turned from the wall to seen a coffin opening. A roaring draugr.

"Fus!" It cried, hurling this one and Faendal up again the wall. It threw us...with its voice?

Back and forth, this one and Faendal battled the draugr, this one always healing Faendal, and keeping focusing on the fight.

Finally, the mighty beast fell, and Faendal looked astonished by his feat. So, this one picked up the fallen beast's sword and offered it to his friend, who accepted it with wide eyes.

The beast carried something else of interest, and so this one bent down to peer upon it. A strange stone tablet, which now this one holds in his lap. This one and Faendal safely returned to Riverwood, and separated after splitting treasure.

The tablet, the Dragonstone that perhaps the words referred to, carries some form of map on one side and an inscription on the other.

This one will copy the insciption here.

Het nok un
mahlaan Drogge
erei suleyk se
Alduin vokrii

Alduin. The same word that this one heard whispered before the gates of Helgen. No coincidence, this one thinks. Meditating tonight, this one understands:

Here lie our
fallen Lords
roaring power of
Alduin revives

This one notices markings on the map side, though this one is not sure what to make of them. "Here lies our fallen..." Graves? Sounds odd, but perhaps. Roaring power...this one remembers the roaring draugr, and wonders if that is close in meaning. This one's translation suggests that 'Alduin' is a name, and now this one thinks he remembers nords speaking this name.

Speaking of nords, Faendal pointed this one to speak to Ralof of Helgen this evening. The nord told a tale of a great dragon raining fire from the sky, and expressed worries that it might come to Riverwood. Ralof's sister asked M'aditi if he might speak to Whiterun's jarl of the matter.

This one isn't keen to talk to lords, but perhaps the jarl's mage might know something of dragons and their words. So this one will go to Whiterun tomorrow, and beseech the jarl to send his guards to Riverwood, in case the nord Ralof is right.

Dez meyz Kriiddremyah, meyz dovahkiin.

This one feels fate grow ever closer.

And a voice whispers...no, shouts...in this one's heart:

I am dovah. I will be heard. Fusi do sili lot ahrk morokei.

I am no kaaz. I am no joor.

Kriiddremyah.

This one...no, not this one.

The voice is stern.

My name is Kriiddremyah, and I will be heard.

Now this one understands.

The blood of dragons flows in me.

This one does not know what that means for his future.

 

[Kaleia]

4th of Frostfall

This one is Dragonborn. Dovahkiin.

M'aditi knew the words called to his soul. And now he knows why. It is no trick of the mind. Thu'um. Dovahkiin.

Soon after this one shared the Dragonstone with the Jarl's mage, a guard came running into the palace, crying that a dragon had been seen. This one's blood stirred, and M'aditi was out of the door almost before the Jarl could ask him to help. This one's blood boiled.

Down the stairs, the mountain, and out of Whiterun. This one drew near the tower the dragon had been seen at, and saw the flames as raging as this one's heart. The guard remaining at the tower cried to this one to run, to hide, for the dragon was still here. Instead, M'aditi ascended the tower, just as the guard cried in horror at the beast's return. This one stepped onto the roof of the tower, and looked directly into the approaching dragon's eyes.

M'aditi bared his teeth at the beast as it swooped overhead.

Strange feelings flowed into M'aditi's heart, feelings long foreign to M'aditi.

Anger. Malevolence. Indignation. It was as though a rivalry had been declared.

"I am Kriiddremyah, and I will not be bested, daanik dovah."

The words were unbidden to this one's lips, but even more unbidden was the agile race to the base of the tower, to boost the morale of the weak guards.

The beast landed, M'aditi found himself under the beast's wing.

No, good Khajiit, kind Khajiit, this one thought.

But Kriiddremyah said, geh, kaal Dovah. Kroniid.

My claws found the dragon's soft undersides, and ripped, and tore, and the blood flowed, staining my long-clean paws crimson. Sahqon krongrah do Kriiddremyah.

I have killed.

As the beast collapsed, its soul flowed to me, and suddenly I understood the word that I had learned deep in the mountains near Riverwood. Fus. Force. Power. Relentless.

Fus. The shout becomes a rush of power, a gathering of energy. Force. In speaking the word, I command it to be.

And so I did, and the ground shook under my paws.

Now, M'aditi rests in the Inn of Whiterun, and this one's whole body quivers. This one's paws are still stained, though M'aditi cleaned them in the stream.

To be Dragonborn, Dovahkiin, it will not do to be a sweet Khajiit. I must be kind Khajiit or indignant dragon. Not both.

The Graybeards, masters of dragon tongue, have called to me from their sanctuary.

They do not understand. Cannot.

I am not mere. I am Dovah.

No, no, no...this one is good and innocent and sweet Khajiit. This one is M'aditi. This one is gentle. This one wishes the words had never called to him.

I savor the words, savor the meaning. The Graybeards will not choke me, not harness me.

M'aditi needs guidance, needs control, needs to meditate to remember. M'aditi, not Dar'sauda, not Kriiddremyah.

I am Dovah, and I will be heard. I am not a weakling, not a mere monk. I am dovah kaal.

So confused, so confused, M'aditi is so confused. Don't want to kill, don't want to be bad, don't want to be dovah. This one wants love, and kindness, and goodness.

Zind fen kos dii, zofaas kaaz, zofaas kriid, zofaas joor.


Vulnorokin, whispers the voice as it calms.

I am Volnorokin. I seek no peace.

 

[makoman8]

This was an awesome series of entries! Love the dichotomy of M'aditi's desires, the confusion over his own desires, and the full-blown identity crisis going on. Also can't wait to see if he's going to become a bad-ass unarmed dragonslayer!