Most ironic Skyrim lines ?

[Adam Warlock]

For me it`s a tie between 2.
First one is when my follower Illia shouts in combat " I`ll kill you if I have to !" . Well , she always kills them anyway , even when they`re paralyzed on the ground or cowering in fear and begging for mercy. For this reason , I`ve nicknamed her Killia.
The 2nd one comes about as a result of my necromancy experiments where I force respawning of bad guys I`ve killed. You get the occasional non-hostile respawn who will ask "You`re not going to hurt me again , are you?". I have to laugh as I reply , " Of course , I am ! I`m the Dragonborn and it`s what I do best !"

 

[The_Deadliest_Troll]

I like it when Aela shouts "Skyrim belongs to the Nords!" First of all, rude, I'm a Redgaurd. Second of all, we are fighting Nords. Good logic Aela...

 

[SirBloodLust]

Not very ironic but funny as hell.
"I'm not a man. I'm a weapon in human-form. Just unsheathe me and point me at my enemy"
The ironic part is that the guard who said it was a Man.

I also heard a Khajiit say
"You remind me of my cousin's cat. Killed that too."
WTF I thought your part of the cat species.

 

[skyrimaddict1323]

I like it when Aela shouts "Skyrim belongs to the Nords!" First of all, rude, I'm a Redgaurd. Second of all, we are fighting Nords. Good logic Aela...

Completely agree

Aela: Skyrim is for the nords!!!!

Me (Orc):

 

[MushroomGenius]

"Oh look a cave! I wonder what's inside!" .... after we just exited said cave.

 

[The_Deadliest_Troll]

"Oh look a cave! I wonder what's inside!" .... after we just exited said cave.

^Hahaha the AI is incredible in this game sometimes!

 

[Neriad13]

Farkas, to a wolf in a locked cage, as he bashes the iron grate with his sword: "I'LL KILL YOOOOOU! RAAAAAAARGH!"

 

[Docta Corvina]

Hahaha, I love all these! Probably one of the goofiest and most ironic lines I've heard came from Mercer Frey whenever we were off to see the Greybeards about info regarding Alduin and basically, yanno, how to save the world, etc. I solemnly acknowledge my role and what I have to do and as we're walking out of High Hrothgar, he just turns to me angrily and growls, "This better be important!".

I lol'd pretty hard. God, I love Mercer and his unending irritation.

 

[theminstrels]

I like the one about the howling dog scaring the locals. Or is that fur growing out of your ears?

 

[Vraek]

I love the fact that dialogue options are often mixed when you go to guards or something, for example:
"So you're the leader of the mages of Winterhold, am I supposed to be impressed?"
(2 seconds later) : "If you like magic, you should travel to the college of Winterhold" etc.

Facepalm...