How old were you when you moved out of your parents' house?

[Karen]

Or if you still live with your parents, when do you plan on moving out?

I'm spoiler-tagging my "quarter-life crisis", because it's kind of long and you don't have to read it, I just wanted to ask you guys the one question.

Spoiler

I'm going to be 19 in June, and with each birthday I feel more and more pressure to grow up and be independent. I always thought I'd just naturally move out at 18 like everyone else, but that was stupid of me since I'd never done any actual planning, financial or otherwise.

My parents don't really like discussing this with me - they just kind of shut down the conversation every time I bring it up, and I think it's because I'm the youngest child and they just don't want me to leave. Ever. On several occasions my mother joked that I'm welcome to stay even after I get married, and I'm not even so sure it's a joke anymore, which frankly terrifies me. I love my parents and I know they love me too, I just want to be given the opportunity to grow up as well.

Their point of view in general is that it's kind of useless and unnecessary for me to get some menial part-time job and worry about paying bills when they can support me, and they just want me to focus on my studies. I think it's a valid point, but I just feel too old to still be relying on my parents for money and food and shelter. And for the people I know that are still living with their parents, they're studying to be super important people like doctors and lawyers, and I'm not, so I feel like I don't have an excuse to not support myself. I dread my birthday every year because I keep getting older and I don't feel any different from when I was like 15.

But anyway, that's enough about me. I hope I don't come across as too depressing, I've just been doing some thinking today and assessing my life, which doesn't make me feel too good, lol.

First world problems, right?

I'd really like to hear about your moving out experiences and stories. Might give me a better idea of what I want to do with my life, or motivate me to put more effort into being more independent.

 

[Reaper0021]

Well, here goes:
Moved out when I was 16. I had bad anger issues, and as a result of that my parents didn't want me around the house (I'm the oldest of 5 kids). I went to work at 16 for a company called "Midland Ent." Tow-boats on the river. 30 days on 30 days off. Making about $115.00 a day as a deckhand.
Moved into my G/F's apt. at the time (she was 19, then I was 17). 6 months out of the year I spent living on a line boat, so housing was cheap for me so to speak. After doing this work, I went back to school at 20. Got my G.E.D...then decided I needed some REAL education, so went to college. My field of interest was and always has been PC's. I worked hard as hell. Graduated in 1995 and went to work for a major PC company in 1995. Been there ever since.

***Note***
I did read all of your "Spoiler"...I always read ALL of what a person writes. How else do you get to know and understand someone if you limit your knowledge of them to just supposition and ignorance?

 

[Halkin]

tl:dr. 19 is still a good age to be at home i think, circumstances permitting

independence is great but the financial woes it brings can be a killer. personally i moved out not long after my 16th birthday for reasons i wont go into but it put a massive strain on what i could achieve at college, and later university. yes i managed but it also meant working hours that could have been spent getting better grades. i worked in kitchens every weeknight and at a local theme park on weekends. a question i've asked myself many times is if i had a chance of a life at "home" what would i have done with the cash, probably spent it on beers to be honest.

in the UK i know people now who live at home in their mid twenties, mainly due to sky high property rental prices and getting a mortgage here is near impossible since the banks fluffed everything up. as an example of friend of mine moved out of home just last week at 26, only just having saved up enough to afford to buy a property with his soon to be wife. but i still think he (and she) did the right thing in making sure they could buy somewhere instead of paying for someone else to have more houses.

i count myself lucky i wasnt doing what i was doing at 16 right now, i dont think i would have managed financially. and money is what it comes down to. will you still have financial support if you move out? will you have to find the rent, food, clothes, toiletries or will you end up a hungry, tired and probably smelly person like i was? on the flip side i did enjoy the independence. dodging the landlord or debt collector is a valued skill i dont think i'll ever lose, and even though i havent needed it for many years it may come in handy again some time.

you are too young at 19 to worry about this. if you cant do it right now i'd say give it a couple of more years to get a firmer footing in life. i'm not saying take things easy and just live it up. save what you can, you will never get independence without cash.

best of luck

 

[kyleekay]

Or if you still live with your parents, when do you plan on moving out?

I'm spoiler-tagging my "quarter-life crisis", because it's kind of long and you don't have to read it, I just wanted to ask you guys the one question.

Spoiler

I'm going to be 19 in June, and with each birthday I feel more and more pressure to grow up and be independent. I always thought I'd just naturally move out at 18 like everyone else, but that was stupid of me since I'd never done any actual planning, financial or otherwise.

My parents don't really like discussing this with me - they just kind of shut down the conversation every time I bring it up, and I think it's because I'm the youngest child and they just don't want me to leave. Ever. On several occasions my mother joked that I'm welcome to stay even after I get married, and I'm not even so sure it's a joke anymore, which frankly terrifies me. I love my parents and I know they love me too, I just want to be given the opportunity to grow up as well.

Their point of view in general is that it's kind of useless and unnecessary for me to get some menial part-time job and worry about paying bills when they can support me, and they just want me to focus on my studies. I think it's a valid point, but I just feel too old to still be relying on my parents for money and food and shelter. And for the people I know that are still living with their parents, they're studying to be super important people like doctors and lawyers, and I'm not, so I feel like I don't have an excuse to not support myself. I dread my birthday every year because I keep getting older and I don't feel any different from when I was like 15.

But anyway, that's enough about me. I hope I don't come across as too depressing, I've just been doing some thinking today and assessing my life, which doesn't make me feel too good, lol.

First world problems, right?

I'd really like to hear about your moving out experiences and stories. Might give me a better idea of what I want to do with my life, or motivate me to put more effort into being more independent.

I moved out for the first time when I was 19. I hadn't saved up any money, and I left to live with a guy (who is my soon-to-be ex husband currently). The independence was great, but be warned... you are forced to grow up really fast. If you're still in school, don't feel bad about relying on your parents. Maybe still get a part-time job, save up some money, and move out when you feel you are ready.

As an update, I'm 22 and moved back in with my parents about 2 months ago. I'm saving up money to get back on my feet because of my divorce. You should feel no shame about living at home at any age, as long as you are looking towards the future (and don't plan on leeching for the rest of your life).

Good luck!

 

[KaitoGhost]

The first time? I was 18, headed off to college.

The second time, I was almost 21, moved in with a friend of mine.

Finally moved out completely on my own (read: no roomates) last July. It's been tough financially a couple times, but well worth not having to deal with bad living partners. I'm currently 27.

 

[Karen]

Thanks for sharing your stories with me, appreciate them all. I was kind of overreacting (shallow breathing and clammy palms when I made this thread, lol) and I feel better about staying put for now. I should work hard in school and pay my parents back when I'm good and ready, they definitely want me to do that instead of living on my own on minimum wage or something. Maybe I'll try a dorm or live on campus next year and see how I like that first.

Felt good to get that off my chest though.

 

[Papzt]

22 when i moved out. But i've to say, that my parents moved out and let me keep the house when i was 18

 

[Invader Vin]

Thanks for sharing your stories with me, appreciate them all. I was kind of overreacting (shallow breathing and clammy palms when I made this thread, lol) and I feel better about staying put for now. I should work hard in school and pay my parents back when I'm good and ready, they definitely want me to do that instead of living on my own on minimum wage or something. Maybe I'll try a dorm or live on campus next year and see how I like that first.

Felt good to get that off my chest though.

It's understandable that you're eager to move out on your own and grow up but if you're in a place where you have the opportunity to focus completely on your education I agree, making the most of it is perhaps the best choice you can make right now. It's a rough world out there these days and while a degree is no longer a guarantee of stable employment and a high wage, it's better than nothing and will go a long way for you if you play things right. A good education will give you a good foundation to build upon when you do decide to take the plunge into facing things on your own and you'll start with an advantage when you do.

I did things a bit backward. I moved out on my own when I was 20, but I never did attain a higher level degree of education aside from vocational training. I was fine on my own for awhile but then a couple kids later, everything changed. Now I'm still working for about the same wages I was making a decade ago ($10-12 an hour) which isn't cutting it. Even though my children's mother and I am now separated, there is still never enough money to take care of everything. I now find that balancing my obligations along with trying to pursue a higher degree of education for myself is pretty difficult and very taxing. I know I could be doing a lot better in school and progressing through my degree a lot quicker if I didn't have work and had a lot of other things tying me down. So yeah, make the most of it, and things for you will work out a lot better in the long run.

 

[Mighty Pecan Pie]

I'm 20 and still living at home, when I was younger I always said I would be gone when I turned 18.

obviously that didn't happen. If I want, I could be out of the house, living in a small room. but I'd rather stay at home. I have a large own room, that's where I am most of my time, if I'm home. And I don't have to pay rent

 

[Bone Of The Foz]

busted growing weed in my romm at 16, went to live with a mate at after that got my own place at 18, moved 100 miles from everything a year later had a kid n got engaged, 3 years down the line, im a skyrim/cod addict.....lol my life in short lol

 

[Karen]

It's understandable that you're eager to move out on your own and grow up but if you're in a place where you have the opportunity to focus completely on your education I agree, making the most of it is perhaps the best choice you can make right now. It's a rough world out there these days and while a degree is no longer a guarantee of stable employment and a high wage, it's better than nothing and will go a long way for you if you play things right. A good education will give you a good foundation to build upon when you do decide to take the plunge into facing things on your own and you'll start with an advantage when you do.

I did things a bit backward. I moved out on my own when I was 20, but I never did attain a higher level degree of education aside from vocational training. I was fine on my own for awhile but then a couple kids later, everything changed. Now I'm still working for about the same wages I was making a decade ago ($10-12 an hour) which isn't cutting it. Even though my children's mother and I am now separated, there is still never enough money to take care of everything. I now find that balancing my obligations along with trying to pursue a higher degree of education for myself is pretty difficult and very taxing. I know I could be doing a lot better in school and progressing through my degree a lot quicker if I didn't have work and had a lot of other things tying me down. So yeah, make the most of it, and things for you will work out a lot better in the long run.

Yeah, I'm very fortunate to not have to worry about money, shouldn't take it for granted.

I am scared that I'll be one of those people who can't get a job after graduating. o_o But that's another worry for another day, I suppose.