Heimskr, I want to slay you...

[Black Orchid]

Most of the time, I stay away from the area where Heimskr the Doomsayer does his preaching (the middle of Whiterun). I don't really have a personal problem with the whole Stormcloak/Talos thing, but Heimskr's incessant ranting got on my nerves so bad the other day I really wanted to gut him.

The character I'm currently playing doesn't kill innocent people, so I had to let him live and endure his ravings while I was doing business in Whiterun. Luckily for me, I had another character that I was able to load up, and, well, you can imagine what happened next...

Spoiler

I have invented so many different ways of slaying Heimskr and getting away with it, that I might just write a book about it...

Spoiler

 

[seeker23]

Soo true....

I know what you mean. He makes you want to come out of RP so you can just slaughter him. Thats why plotting to kill Heimskr and Nazeem is one of my favourite past times. Oooh I love seeing those two suffer.​

 

[Lucid]

I would like to kill Heimsksr and somehow frame Nazeem for it. Nazeem will then get to spend all of his time in the Cloud District (dungeon), his wife can find happiness with somebody else, and nobody gets yelled at in town anymore. Everybody wins!

Can you imagine being a guard or one of the merchants, having to hear his endless yelling every damn day?

 

[shadowkitty]

My Khajiit had no such compunctions, she slayed the preacher and delicately placed him on top of his talos shrine. Another character placed him in the nearby brazier.

 

[seeker23]

My Khajiit had no such compunctions, she slayed the preacher and delicately placed him on top of his talos shrine. Another character placed him in the nearby brazier.

How did you manage to get him up there??? Nice one.

 

[shadowkitty]

My Khajiit had no such compunctions, she slayed the preacher and delicately placed him on top of his talos shrine. Another character placed him in the nearby brazier.

How did you manage to get him up there??? Nice one.

Thanks! Took a while but it was worth it. He is balanced on the tip. And I only got a 40 gold bounty. I guess he pissed the guards off to The Brazier one was easier because I stripped him first and he was lighter.

 

[shadowkitty]

How do you kill Nazeem? I am on xbox so I have no mods.

 

[Black Orchid]

How do you kill Nazeem? I am on xbox so I have no mods.

Have a decent Sneak skill while hiding, and cast Fury/Frenzy on him and watch the guards/townsfolk gut him like a pig. You gotta make sure you're not spotted, though, as it's considered a crime if your are.

Edit: It is possible to Sneak attack him with a bow, if you don't have access to, or don't wish to use the Illusion spells. It's tricky, but it can be pulled off without getting a bounty. Again, you need to have a fairly high Sneak skill and you can't be spotted by the guards or any townfolk. It's also good to stay hidden and not move until every one settles down and goes back to their daily mundane routines.

 

[Chadonraz]

I used to really hate Heimskr and his constant preaching, but he no longer annoys me. As a matter of fact I kind of respect him, as I recently saw him preach throughout the battle for Whiterun. There was fire, fighting and death everywhere, but he just couldn't care less. That's some real devotion right there.

I once made a video where I used Fury on him and the guards killed him. Now, I'd much rather do that to Nazeem. Preferably when his wife is nearby.

 

[DrunkenMage]

He's in prison on my playthrough (Imperial victory) So I tend to visit him and drop a bunch of 'The Talos Mistake' books in front of his cell.

 

[Black Orchid]

More Heimskr fun (violent images; may not be suitable for young children):

Spoiler

The Heimskr in the pics was just a mannequin filled with goat's blood. Like I said, this character I'm playing now is 'good,' so she can't slay innocent people.

 

[DrunkenMage]

Heimskr is the chosen of Talos, he alone was appointed by the Ninth. Stormcloaks plan to build a Temple and make Heimskr the head priest.

Because to Nords, Talos outranks Akatosh and therefor Heimskr being the chosen of the Ninth outranks you, the last Dragonborn, chosen of Akatosh.

I will not stand for this, I don't see Heimskr slaying any Dragons.

 

[Black Orchid]

Heimskr is the chosen of Talos, he alone was appointed by the Ninth. Stormcloaks plan to build a Temple and make Heimskr the head priest.

Because to Nords, Talos outranks Akatosh and therefor Heimskr being the chosen of the Ninth outranks you, the last Dragonborn, chosen of Akatosh.

I will not stand for this, I don't see Heimskr slaying any Dragons.

I think Heimskr could 'talk' a Dragon to death, similar to the way Ulfric 'shouted' King Torygg to pieces...

 

[Mr Forz]

I used to be immune to his annoyance until...

For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!

I used the gem containing his soul to enchant a pickaxe that I've thrown into the river.

I understand Nords, this one did it wrong, DEAD wrong.

(And man, 'toady'.... it's the first time I get to hear that.)

 

[Rimfaxe96]

Do the Imperial CW questline and you'll never have to hear him again, unless one of your friends is stuck in the Dragonsreach' dungeons.

I love his speech.
"We are but maggotswrithing in the FILTH of our corruption!"
"...for I love you! Aye, love, LOVE!!!"
He could totally run his own talkshow.

 

[Chadonraz]

Heimskr has never ended up in jail when I've done the CW for the Imperials.

Maybe it's because I'm on console and so don't have the Unofficial patches..?

 

[Rimfaxe96]

Heimskr has never ended up in jail when I've done the CW for the Imperials.

Maybe it's because I'm on console and so don't have the Unofficial patches..?

Weird. Everytime I finish "Battle for Whiterun" on the Imperial side he ends up in jail. I suppose that's better for his health though than being abducted by Thalmor.

 

[Chadonraz]

Heimskr has never ended up in jail when I've done the CW for the Imperials.

Maybe it's because I'm on console and so don't have the Unofficial patches..?

Weird. Everytime I finish "Battle for Whiterun" on the Imperial side he ends up in jail. I suppose that's better for his health though than being abducted by Thalmor.

The funny thing is that after the battle he just continues his preaching routine, and no one even tries to stop him.
Then again, the only thing that changes in Whiterun is his house getting destroyed, plus a few other buildings/constructions taking damage.

 

[MiniPea]

I rarely visit Whiterun so I don't hear his nonsense. If it is really that bad I would recommend going to different cities.

 

[Black Orchid]

I rarely visit Whiterun so I don't hear his nonsense. If it is really that bad I would recommend going to different cities.

Or I could just break into his house while he's sleeping and shove a sweetroll down his throat until he stops breathing.