in my current build I went to White River Watch and cleared it and jumped off the top level and down the hill and now Lydia is gone I checked Dragonsreach I even went back to the top and back through the cave to find her but she is gone any clue how to fix? also did a reload still not there
I really loved her. But I had to kill her.
You weren't supposed to find out like this.
If it's any consolation, I crushed so many painkilling herbs into her Honningbrew Mead that my daggers probably felt like the toothpicks she asked me for after dinner. She thought she was drinking Ashfire Mead. Because I'm a liar. It will be my cross to bear, and it is heavy.
I have taken from you. And her. Yes. But I have also given. She is a far better warrior now than she ever was - even with the stiffness in her walk and her steadfast insistence on moaning instead of speaking. I don't deserve the gift of her words, I suppose. I accept that.
When her service is done, I will burn the body. The warmth from the fire will comfort children. And animals. She will spend her last minute loved by the townsfolk. Nurturing. Giving life. It is truly a time to rejoice.
You may wish to pursue me, and seek vengeance. I could never blame you. However, I am all out of Honningbrew. Fair warning - I owe you that.
Sincerely,
Dr. D'Irsei, D.D.S.