What Happened to Nature Shows? (rant)

[Kohlar the Unkilled]

Many of you will be too young to remember what TV was like before becoming infected by the pox which is "reality television," but I remember when things like the Discovery Channel, the Learning Channel, and National Geographic were actually interesting and educational. Now, not only are such networks inundated with stupifyingly pointless reality shows, (who the hell dreams these things up anyway?), but now they subject us to day-long marathons!! I'll turn on Discovery Chanel hoping to watch something about space, or ocean life, or predators... "sorry guy, I guess if you don't want to watch 10 hours of Mountain Men, you're f***fed!" I wonder what's on tomorrow- oh good, 12 f***fing hours straight of Horders!! ...and after that, Finding Bigfoot! FINDING BIGFOOT!?! WOW, I WONDER IF THEY f***fING FIND HIM!?! At least I still have Shark Week... don't I?

Well, kind of. They just don't make it like they used to. First of all, in the tradition of Finding Bigfoot... they have these shows on Shark Week where they search for things like Megalodon, or a 30ft Hammerhead. Have you seen these gems? The whole show, they go from place to place to place, always interviewing fisherman who swear to've seen these things first hand, but do they EVER FIND IT? They must've JUST missed it... An hour-long show, that's utterly pointless, because they think I'm stupid enough to sit through the whole damn thing to see if they'll find a Megalodon... too bad they were right! I'll never get that hour of my life back.

Another thing I hate about the modern nature show, (and not just nature shows do this, but all reality shows too), is the PREVIEW and RECAP. This is just another way for producers to be lazy and have less actual content. You know the preview? Where they go, "When we return..." and then they show you what they're going to show you, before they actually show you. Oh well, who needs suspense anyway? Then the recap, where after the commercials, they remind you of what YOU JUST f***fING WATCHED!! All and all, they've cheated you of about 20 minutes of content per hour long show by doing this.

That'll be all, for now.

 

[Mercutio]

Many of you will be too young to remember what TV was like before becoming infected by the pox which is "reality television," but I remember when things like the Discovery Channel, the Learning Channel, and National Geographic were actually interesting and educational. Now, not only are such networks inundated with stupifyingly pointless reality shows, (who the hell dreams these things up anyway?), but now they subject us to day-long marathons!! I'll turn on Discovery Chanel hoping to watch something about space, or ocean life, or predators... "sorry guy, I guess if you don't want to watch 10 hours of Mountain Men, you're f***fed!" I wonder what's on tomorrow- oh good, 12 f***fing hours straight of Horders!! ...and after that, Finding Bigfoot! FINDING BIGFOOT!?! WOW, I WONDER IF THEY f***fING FIND HIM!?! At least I still have Shark Week... don't I?

Well, kind of. They just don't make it like they used to. First of all, in the tradition of Finding Bigfoot... they have these shows on Shark Week where they search for things like Megalodon, or a 30ft Hammerhead. Have you seen these gems? The whole show, they go from place to place to place, always interviewing fisherman who swear to've seen these things first hand, but do they EVER FIND IT? They must've JUST missed it... An hour-long show, that's utterly pointless, because they think I'm stupid enough to sit through the whole damn thing to see if they'll find a Megalodon... too bad they were right! I'll never get that hour of my life back.

Another thing I hate about the modern nature show, (and not just nature shows do this, but all reality shows too), is the PREVIEW and RECAP. This is just another way for producers to be lazy and have less actual content. You know the preview? Where they go, "When we return..." and then they show you what they're going to show you, before they actually show you. Oh well, who needs suspense anyway? Then the recap, where after the commercials, they remind you of what YOU JUST f***fING WATCHED!! All and all, they've cheated you of about 20 minutes of content per hour long show by doing this.

That'll be all, for now.

I can't agree more. Whatever did happen to TV? It's just crap no one watches anymore.

 

[Ancano]

I watch the internet for the lulz

Also have BSG, SG1, Family Guy and Southpark on DVD.

What's TV lolz XD

 

[Wauten Dayhil]

I cans till find interesting shows. I have Charter, so maybe that's it? Unless you do, too, then I have no idea.

 

[hershangames]

In my opinion the worst crime are the alien shows at the history channel. They used to have good, instructive documentaries. Now it's all about that guy Giorgio or whatever that spends his life trying to prove thaat aloens created humans.
-It's proven that we ourselves could not invent language because if you leave two kids alone in the wild they never learn to talk.

How the hell did you probe that??

-They used us to get gold. The prove is that compared to the mass of the earth, there's lacking gold.

I...I can't even... just...what?

-It's all in the bible.

That's it I'm turning off the TV

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[Kohlar the Unkilled]

I cans till find interesting shows. I have Charter, so maybe that's it? Unless you do, too, then I have no idea.

No, I'm not implying that good shows have gone completely extinct. A couple years ago, a saw a few episodes of a nature series that was probably the most amazing I'd ever seen. It's name eludes me, but I intend to find it. A part of one episode that I recall, illuminated the interior of a fig to show the life cycle of some tiny parasitic wasp. It's made incredible when you realize how big the inside of a fig is, (quite small), and yet the high-definition perspective made the interior look the size of a grand ballroom. The series was simply a pure nature show- no hardcore, ultra-hype editing, no fake interviews, no recaps.

 

[Kohlar the Unkilled]

In my opinion the worst crime are the alien shows at the history channel. They used to have good, instructive documentaries. Now it's all about that guy Giorgio or whatever that spends his life trying to prove thaat aloens created humans.
-It's proven that we ourselves could not invent language because if you leave two kids alone in the wild they never learn to talk.

How the hell did you probe that??

-They used us to get gold. The prove is that compared to the mass of the earth, there's lacking gold.

I...I can't even... just...what?

-It's all in the bible.

That's it I'm turning off the TV

Sent from my SM-T230 using Tapatalk

I'll admit to finding the History Channel's Ancient Aliens compelling. I know what you're saying though. Sometimes they take such huge leaps in saying that something MUST be due to aliens when it's only speculation. I know this Giorgio, the guy who styles his hair with a hand-grenade; he somehow manages to be simultaneously interesting and ludicrous. This is the kind of show that I like watch while I'm doing cardio at the gym because it makes an hour go by quickly.

 

[Wauten Dayhil]

Actually, the kids would have a language, it just probably wouldn't be recognizable. Look at any animal, and you'll see they have language, it's just not English or Spanish or Gibberish.

 

[Kohlar the Unkilled]

I cans till find interesting shows. I have Charter, so maybe that's it? Unless you do, too, then I have no idea.

No, I'm not implying that good shows have gone completely extinct. A couple years ago, a saw a few episodes of a nature series that was probably the most amazing I'd ever seen. It's name eludes me, but I intend to find it. A part of one episode that I recall, illuminated the interior of a fig to show the life cycle of some tiny parasitic wasp. It's made incredible when you realize how big the inside of a fig is, (quite small), and yet the high-definition perspective made the interior look the size of a grand ballroom. The series was simply a pure nature show- no hardcore, ultra-hype editing, no fake interviews, no recaps.

For anyone who's interested, the show I was referring to is called "Life." I found it on a ranking list of the best nature shows ever. It was ranked #2, Planet Earth was #1.

 

[hershangames]

Oh yeah I know that show. I watched it too and I gotta say, it's one of the best nature shows I've seen.

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[dunklunk]

Got the box set of Planet Earth, Kohlar. Incredible stuff, as you all know. Love Animal Planet, too. Now, I realize they also have their fair share of "reality" shows, but when it comes to animals (especially pets), I'll let it slide.

 

[Kohlar the Unkilled]

Got the box set of Planet Earth, Kohlar. Incredible stuff, as you all know. Love Animal Planet, too. Now, I realize they also have their fair share of "reality" shows, but when it comes to animals (especially pets), I'll let it slide.

I know, but I had to curse Animal Planet last night too, because a Treehouse Masters marathon was on. Treehouse Masters, a show about people... on Animal Planet! Well people are animals too, (and admittedly some of the treehouses are compelling).

I've only seen a bit of the Planet Earth series, and what I saw was spectacular.

Does anyone remember Discovery Channel's "Bug Wars?" Twas a huge letdown to me, and probably the worst nature show of all time. Insects were my first true fascination as a lad, and today I've forgotten more than most would ever care to know about them, suffice it to say I'd only dreamed of a show that featured battles between various bugs. Too bad they made a mockery of a good idea.

 

[dunklunk]

Good point. Some of those treehouses are better equipped than my humble abode. AND IT'S IN A TREE!!!

I'm thinking "Bug Wars" should be an XBLA download. I'd buy it.

 

[Wauten Dayhil]

Ride, my noble steed! "click click"

And then you joust on the back of a beetle.

 

[sticky runes]

Yeah, Robson Green's Extreme Fishing does that. "After the break, I'll be doing this and this." and then after the break you get "Before the break I was doing this and this. And now I'm going to be doing that." You end up watching the same footage about 19 times. Take all of those repeated clips out and you'd have a 10 or 20 minute show.

 

[Reaper87]

I still watch Nat Geo and Discovery Channel.
The National Geographic magazine is really cool, as I like animals and pictures of animals in good resolution.

 

[Reaper87]

Have you guys noticed that nearly all shows on Discovery and other documentary-based channels have the same title layout?

<Whatever the people do, in one word> + <some form of exaggerated title relating to the people>

'Treehouse Masters'
'Cake Boss'
'Fish Tank Kings' (imo 'Tanked' is a better show)
etc.

 

[hershangames]

Well now that you say it, yeah. I had noticed just how lame some are but I hadn't seen the patron.

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[norsewarlord]

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=david+attenborough

You can thank me later for showing you the path towards glorious Buddhahood.

 

[Wauten Dayhil]

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=david+attenborough

You can thank me later for showing you the path towards glorious Buddhahood.

Bootyhood is more fun.

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