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I arrive in falkreath and talk to the jarl, but it doesnt have his black briar mead option. I have reloaded everything, but it still wont show up. I am on pc
Falkreath seems to have issues. I can't get the Jarl to sell me land with one of my characters. Seems like you have to do everything in order, and don't kill any bandits in that hold until the Jarl sends you out to kill them! You might go around town and see if you can help anyone, then go back to the Jarl.
You might have another open quest that conflicts with the Jarl's quests. Try clearing any radiant quests you already have and see whether he'll change his mind.