Favorite Quote from Skyrim NPC's

[HelloMyNameIsEd]

People in Skyrim have interesting things to say (yes, I'm thinking of M'aiq). What is your favorite quote from Skyrim NPC's? Or your favorite lines of dialogue?

Mines came from one of the Dark Brotherhood members: "You know what they say: When life gives you lemons...go murder a clown."

 

[berzum]

my fav quote would have to be when i was naked in some girls house robbing her she said "do you think it's a good idea to be walking around naked"...i went to a corner and hid till she fell asleep then i climbed on her bed and continusly crouch and uncrouched on her head....nothing better than getting t bagged by a green lizard for asking stupid questions

 

[Janus3003]

"oh no no no this is so wrong "

 

[JakeGeorge!]

Anything said by M'aiq.

 

[Znowcicle]

I'm surprised no one has mentioned the guards' famous quote- "I was an adventurer like you, until I took an arrow to the knee" I can't remember if it was "to the" or "in". Eh, I digress.

 

[heatherelectra]

When you're down by the gate at Whiterun, Irileth is giving the pep talk to the guards before we head to the watchtower to fight the dragon, and one of the guards says, "We're so dead!"

 

[JakeGeorge!]

I don't ever listen to what he's saying, but I always chuckle when I hear the Talos priest guy yelling in the middle of Whiterun.

 

[Flapjoe]

Dragonborn - "Why is this place called the winking skeever?"
Barkeep at Winking Skeever - "I had a pet skeever when i was a kid"
Dragonborn - "I guess thats as good of a reason as any."
Barkeep - "I thought so."

This conversation made me laugh out loud.

 

[Xivia4]

Putting on subtitles is awesome because I would miss a lot of some of the dialogue without it.

For example, Carlotta Valentia after stating that her fruits and vegetables are fresh says under her breath, "mostly" or "on most days." That got a chuckle out of me.

Of course I love Eorlund Gray-Mane's, "You know who I am, fool! So why you asking?"

 

[Kaleia]

"And keep the Wabbajack as a token of my....oh, just take the damn thing!" - Sheogorath

 

[Dabiene Caristiana]

When you're down by the gate at Whiterun, Irileth is giving the pep talk to the guards before we head to the watchtower to fight the dragon, and one of the guards says, "We're so dead!"

Irileth: Listen up everyone, a DRAGON is attacking Whiterun tower!
Guards: What? wtf?! "Now we're in for it!"
Irilth: you heard right, I said a dragon! I don't really care where it came from nor who sent it! But what I know is that it has made a huge mistake in attacking Whiterun!
Guards: But housecarl? How can we fight a dragon!?
Irileth: Good question, none of us has ever seen a dragon, much less fight one. But we are honorbound to fight it, even if we fail! It is threatening our homes and families! Can you call yourselves Nords if you are to run from this monster? Are you going to let me face this thing alone?!
Guards: No housecarl! "We're so dead.."
Irileth: There is more than honor at stake here. Think about it, the first dragon ever seen since the last age.. And the glory to kill it is ours! Are you with me?! Now what do you say?! Shall we kill us a dragon!?
Guards: YEAAA!! "DAMN RIGHT!"
Irileth: Then let's move out.

I reworded the lines as to not y'know... yea. Anyway, was pretty close.

But yea, that's my one of my favorites. Sheogorath's quotes are funny too. I like them all. :3

 

[Flint firestorm]

"no one ever expects a fire ball from the dog in the corner"-Festus

 

[TheDovahkiin]

"And keep the Wabbajack as a token of my....oh, just take the damn thing!" - Sheogorath

This. Also when the old dude in the DB told me about his bowel movements.

 

[Tosh Raka]

Hold Guard when you're a werewolf:
"Have you been tending to your hounds? You smell like a wet dog"

Makes me wanna take a shower. IRL

 

[Ra'Kira_kitty_;)]

my favorite is when you're in the dark brotherhood n you do the last quest. the guards walk by and say "are you the one that... ummm... the dark brotherhood... ummm. nevermind miss. "
ahhahaha. cuz they dont want me to kill them lol. makes me lol everytime!

 

[Twiffle]

i heard one today that i hadnt heard before. this is said by Noster Eagle Eye in solitude at the execution when you first visit, when its finnished he walks away and says ''A man opens a gate and they cut his head off, doesnt seem right to me'' quality,

 

[Seanu Reaves]

"What is better - to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"―Paarthurnax"I LIVE... AGAIN!!!" - Spectral Assassin
The first one was deep, the second one became one when I realized who I was talking to.

 

[Zheng Wu Ming]

"Why, of course. And will you also be needing the bow that shoots rainbows? Or perhaps a quiver that dispenses beer?" - Fihada, Redguard merchant in The Fletcher in Solitude.

"The way you walk around at home is your own business. When you're at home!" - Belethor, Breton merchant in Belethor's General Store in Whiterun.

"I am alive because that one is dead, I exist because I have the will to do so." - Boethiah's Proving

All in their respective order.

 

[Psiberzerker]

"With his Filthy Darl Elf Necromancy!... No offense..." ~Goldir.

 

[Daedra'Mc'Bitch]

Vilkas - "I've never even heard of this outsider!"

Me - "coughdragonborn"