Corrupted Wish!

[Lindsay]

Granted, but they are twinkies

I wish I had 1 million dollars.

 

[dunklunk]

Granted, but in order to grant this wish, it'll cost you. . .wait for it. . .1 million dollars.

I wish Lindsay would take back all those damn twinkies.

 

[Lindsay]

Granted, but you would have to pa me $100 for each of them.

I wish I could go into Space.

 

[dunklunk]

Granted, but then you get detoured to Dead Space (the video game) with Isaac, and well, we all know how that ends.

I wish I could speak and understand any language.

 

[Lindsay]

Granted, but you could only speak and say one word in each language.

I wish I had a penguin.

 

[dunklunk]

Granted, but in order to have this penguin, you must relocate to The Arctic Circle.

I wish someone would make Skyrim into a movie, with Sly Stallone as Ulfric.

 

[Benthos]

Granted but it's directed by Uwe Boll

I wish I had pizza!

 

[dunklunk]

Granted, but the entire pizza is made out of ingredients you're allergic to.

I wish for a trained, pet Komodo Dragon.

 

[NikolaTesla]

Granted but it spits out acidic blood all the time.
I wish for a car made out of cheese.

 

[dunklunk]

Granted, but mice run rampant in your neighborhood. Thus, no more cheese car.

I wish I had a swimming pool.

 

[NikolaTesla]

Granted, but instead of water, it's molten lava.
I wish for a jetpack.

 

[dunklunk]

Granted, but its flight range is only enough to take you across the street.

I wish I had a T-Rex that I could ride around Skyrim, terrorizing the locals.

 

[Benthos]

Granted, every Hold and dragon wants a piece of you.
I wish for a new laptop to work with.

 

[NikolaTesla]

Granted, but it's from 10 years ago.
I want a flying puppy that breathes flame.

 

[Lindsay]

Granted, but he never stops flying or breathing fire.

I wish I had a robot unicorn

 

[Monolith]

Granted, but it doesn't come with a user manual, so you have no idea how to operate it. It ends up collecting dust in your garage.

I wish Middle-earth actually existed and I could visit there as a tourist.

 

[Lindsay]

Granted but you would turn into an Orc whenever you visited.

I wish I had a hoverboard.

 

[dunklunk]

Granted, but you lost the operator's manual, thus rendering it useless.

I wish I was immortal.

 

[NikolaTesla]

Granted but your body never stops aging.
I wish I had a comfortable bed.

 

[Monolith]

Granted but then you become bedridden.

I wish I could feel as good every day as I'm feeling today 8)