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WarriorMage

Hey! Someone stole my sweet roll!
The character is a female Nord, fresh out of Helgen.


9th Day of Morning Star
Made it to Riverwood today. Overall trip was pretty uneventful. Killed a couple of wolves and sold their pelts to a hunter I met along the way. Riverwood seems like a nice town but a little small for me. I’ll probably only stay a couple of days.

13th Day of Morning Star
Arrived in Whiterun. I like it. It’s bigger than Riverwood and, for the most part, the people are nice. (One of the local guards jokingly asked if someone had stolen my sweet roll.) Right as I got to town a bunch of people were out fighting a giant. I ran up to help but by the time I got there they were done. Then they just walked off and left it there, which I thought was kind of odd. I went up to check it out and as I stood there looking at the body I started wondering what kind of potion I could make out of it. I pulled out my sword and spend about 15 minutes hacking through his dirty, smelly, callused toe. Then I ate it. The whole thing. Raw. I think it would make me stronger. Which makes sense. It’s a giant, after all.

14th Day of Morning Star
Note to self: In addition to extra strength giant toes also cause extreme vomiting.

25th Day of Morning Star
I killed a dragon today! Okay, I admit I had a lot of help and couldn’t have pulled it off without the other guys but I struck the killing blow. Something really weird happened afterwards. It was like part of the dragon became part of me. I doubt it’s any big deal. I pried out a few bones and some scales as souvenirs. I left the rest for everyone else. I doubt they’re worth anything.

26st Day of Morning Star
I met with the Jarl of Whiterun. He was really impressed about my killing the dragon. In fact, he made me Thane of the town! How cool it that? I also was assigned a Housecarl to help me out. Her name’s Lydia and she seems really nice. Very polite. She even swore to defend me with her life. I think we’re going to be good friends.

3rd Day of Sun’s Dawn
Not so sure about my decision to join the Companions. Never mind that Farkas is a freaking werewolf. I can handle that. It’s Vilkas. His next big “task” for me was to take his sword to Eorlund. It was like half a block away! What’s he going to make me do next? Fetch the mead?

10th Day of Sun’s Dawn
Something funny happened today. Lydia and I were out and got attacked by a saber cat. She was mauled pretty bad. When I healed her she thought I was a priest. I told her no, it was just a spell I had learned. We both had a good laugh.

8th Day of First Seed
Lydia is starting to get a little annoying. We were in Riften and decided to stay the night at the Bee and Barb. Every time I tried to go into or out of the room she just stood there in the doorway. I practically had to shove her out of the way to get past. Then, when I went to bed, she wouldn’t get her own room. She just stood there in mine and stared at me. I finally had to take her out into the common room and tell her to stay there. I don’t know if she ever did go to sleep. Kind of creepy. Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. I bought a horse.

17th Day of Rain’s Hand
I bought a house today. It’s a nice place but needs some work. It’s got a big living room downstairs and two bedrooms upstairs. I figured I’d take the bigger one and make the smaller one into a study. But when I got there Lydia had already moved in. I suppose she’s just doing what she’s told to. I mean, she is a housecarl, after all. I just wish someone had mentioned it to me earlier. I suppose Lydia can have the smaller bedroom (after-all, I’m the one who paid for the place) and I’ll move the study into the back room downstairs. Not sure why they put the cooking pit in the middle of the living room floor. I would have put in a fireplace off to the side. Oh, well.

22nd Day of Rain’s Hand
Lydia has been having trouble keeping up with me ever since I bought the horse. So I’ve decided to get her one, too. I really think she’ll like it.

25th Day of Rain’s Hand
What is it with this place? All the guards are morons. I was in a store looking around and came across a really nice sword. It was around 1500 gold pieces but it did fire damage so I bought it. Then I remembered that today was the day I was going to buy Lydia her horse. I returned it and told the guy I’d be back in a few days to get it if it was still here but he would only give me like 500 gp for it. I hadn’t even taken it out of the store! “Restocking fee” he calls it. I took my money, stormed out of the store, and went to report him to one of the town guards. I mean, the guy had ripped me off. I went up to tell the guard and what’s he say? “Let me guess. Someone stole your sweet roll.” Worthless sack of horker droppings.

4th Day of Second Seed
I killed a wizard today. I hadn’t planned on it. I found his house out in the woods. The door was unlocked so I figured I’d go in, introduce myself, and get to know the guy. Right off the bat he opens up on me. Long story short I killed him and took some of stuff. (It’s not like he’s going to need it anymore.) I think he must have been a transvestite or something because, when I searched his house, all I found were women’s clothes. And what was even weirder was that they all fit me. I’m not complaining. After all, he had some pretty nice stuff. Just thought it was a little strange.

8th Day of Mid Year
I met my first Kajiit today. Hopefully it will be my last. He was with a little caravan that was staying just outside of town. I’d never seen any before so I went and introduced myself and asked what he had for sale. Well, I’m standing there looking through his stuff and when I turn to ask him how much he wanted for a couple of health potions he’s sitting there licking himself! You, know. “Down there.” I’m thinking “Geeze, guy. Show a little class.” I paid for the potion and just as I’m getting ready to leave he starts gagging like he’s choking on something. I didn’t know what to do so I called to some of his friends but they just ignored me. A few seconds later he coughs up a hairball! Then just goes on like nothing happened. This big ol’ hairball sitting right in front of him. Now I know why they don’t let Kajitts in the towns. It’s not any kind of prejudice or anything. They’re just gross.

14th Day of Mid Year
I bought Lydia’s horse today. That was a waste of money. She won’t even get on it. And the guy I bought it from won’t take it back. What am I going to do with two horses?

9th Day of Sun's Height
Lydia really pissed me off today. We had just killed a bunch of Draugrs. I grabbed everything I could carry so I could sell it and fix up the house some more. I was pretty loaded down so I politely asked her if she would carry one of the swords we had found just long enough to get to Whiterun. She gets all sarcastic and says “I am sworn to carry your burdens.” By Talos, I swear if she hadn’t been wearing that dwarven helmet I’d have decked her right there.

25th Day of Sun's Height
Well, we got the house furnished. It’s nice and a lot cleaner but I wish they had put the alchemy lab somewhere else. I didn’t even want it in the first place. (There goes my study.) Lydia thought the big room was hers. She was just sitting there eating bread when I came in. I had to take her into her room and specifically tell her to wait there. I mean, I shouldn’t have had to say anything but I figure I’ll let it go. I’m sure it won’t happen again.

28th Day of Sun's Height
When I woke up this morning Lydia was back in “her” chair. Just sitting there and eating bread. I’m guessing she came in some time after I fell asleep and sat there all night. It’s probably just part of her job as my housecarl but she’s really starting to creep me out.

9th Day of Last Seed
Lydia and I were in a dungeon today and came across one of those plates in the floor with a spiral on it. I had seen them before and knew it triggered a trap of some kind but Lydia had never seen one. I jumped over it then turned around to warn her. “Be careful. Don’t step on that.” Lydia just ignored me and walked right over it like it wasn’t even there. As soon as she stepped on it a bunch of spears came out of the wall and stabbed her in the side. What an idiot.

18th Day of Last Seed
I went out on my own today and left Lydia at home. It’s getting so I really can’t stand to be around her any more. I’m mean, she’s polite and all. (Except for her constant bitching whenever I ask her to carry something.) I just wanted to be alone for a while. Anyway, I was in this cave. It looked like no one had been down there for years. I popped open the lid on a barrel and there were four heads of cabbage in it. And they were fresh! I’m like “What the heck?!” Later I found some Fly Amanita mushrooms. I was wondering what they would do if I tried to make a potion out of them so I ate them. Not just one or two but all of them. I think they’d be good for protecting me against fire.

19th Day of Last Seed
Note to self: In addition to protection from fire Fly Amanita mushrooms also cause extreme vomiting and diarrhea.

20th Day of Hearth Fire
Not a good day. It started out okay. I rode the horse out to kill some bandits that had been troubling travelers along the road. (I don’t know why the guards don’t do it. That one guy is always whining that he hasn’t had a bandit raid in quite a while. Show a little initiative, why don’t you?) No problems with the bandits but on the way back I was attacked by a bear. I thought about ignoring it but I remembered I needed the pelt for that Temba gal. So I hopped off the horse and went after the bear. I killed it okay but it slid down the hill so I had to run after it. By the time I got down there and got it skinned it had started raining. I hauled the bearskin back up to the road and but couldn’t find my horse. The stupid thing had run off while I was fighting the bear. I looked around for about an hour, all the time lugging a heavy, rain-soaked bear hide. I finally found the horse and made it back to the house at about 2:00 a.m. I went in and stripped off my wet armor then went to make a sandwich. Lydia had eaten all the freaking bread!! I could have killed her! So I go up to my room and there she is sitting there like she owns the place and eating the last loaf of bread in the house. “Honored to see you, my Thane.” I couldn’t take it any more so I blasted her in the face with a fireball. She managed to mutter something about protecting me with her life, which made me feel bad about it so I healed her. (For the fifth time, “No, I’m not a priest.”)

22nd Day of Frostfall
I can’t get Lydia to stay out of my room. Every time I go into the house she’s sitting at my table. Eating her precious bread. I finally decided that I had had enough. I stormed out of the house to look for someone to haul her butt off to jail for trespassing. I went up to one of the guards to see if he could do something about getting her out of my house. He could tell I was obviously upset about something but what’s he say? “Let me guess. Someone stole your sweet roll.”

25th Day of Frostfall
Spent the last few days in jail. I probably shouldn’t have hit the guard but he really had it coming.

2nd Day of Sun's Dusk
Something really weird happened today. I was out walking around and came across a dead guy. He had an apothecary’s satchel so I opened it to see what was inside but all it had was a butterfly wing. I took it but it turned out I was carrying so much I could hardly move so I put it back. Just then, a bunch of bandits attacked me. Long story short, I killed them all. I searched them and took a bunch of gold and about 20 arrows (After all, you can never have too many arrows, right?). So then I decided I needed the butterfly wing after all and went back to get it. But I couldn’t carry it. It still weighed me down even though a few minutes earlier I could carry all those arrows and the gold. I’m like “What the heck?” I had to drink a strength potion just so I could carry a stupid butterfly wing. Which was pretty much a waste because after I threw away the bottle I didn’t need the strength potion after all. Live and learn.

8th Day of Sun's Dusk
I’ve moved into “Lydia’s room” (the smaller bedroom) since she’s pretty much taken over mine. I bet this was her plan all along. I’ve hardly slept in a week. At night I hear her sitting in there chewing away on her bread. I don’t think she even sleeps. I don’t even know if she’s human or not.

14th Day of Sun's Dusk
Another bad day. I was out riding one of the horses. Just giving it some exercise (since Lydia won’t ride the damn thing) and a dragon flew over, really high. It didn’t attack or anything. Well, not in the usual sense. Let’s just say that the horse is dead and my arm was practically broken. And I don’t think I’ll ever get the smell out of my armor.

1st Day of Evening Star
One of the Jarls needed me to go clean out a vampires nest. I had already killed two so I figured I’d go finish the job. A bunch or the townsfolk and I headed off to kill them but when we got there they all chickened out so I had to kill them all myself. The vampires, not the townspeople. Although I was pretty tempted. When I was done I was standing over their dead (Undead? Re-dead?) bodies and I wondered what would happen if I made a potion out of them. I mean, they’re kind of magical, right? I scraped some dust off of them and put it in a bag. I also ate a bunch to see what it would do. I think it would make me invisible. Pretty cool, huh?

2nd Day of Evening Star
Note to self: In addition to invisibility the vampire’s dust also causes fever, vomiting and diarrhea. I’ve decided to give up alchemy and buy all my potions from now on.

18th Day of Evening Star
I moved out of the house in Whiterun. Lydia can keep it. Anything to get away from her. I’m now living in Riften. It’s bigger than my old place and has a nice view of the lake. I can’t believe that guy in Windhelm actually tried to sell me Hjerim. “It’s a nice place. It even has a walk in closet for extra storage.” Yeah. Just scrape all the blood off the floor and forget that a serial killer used to live there.

29th Day of Evening Star
I can’t believe it! I’ve killed dragons, fought countless Draugrs, and wiped out a virtual army of vampires and after all that I think I have to give up adventuring. I was fighting with some bandits just outside of town and what happens? I took an arrow to the knee. Man, I never saw that coming.
 

Hæð Eik

Active Member
I like this! Not every story has to be a huge sweeping saga of life and love and death and juxtaposition of the soul. Just Skyrim at it's finest. :D
 
Amazing, I loved how it wasn't as serious as I thought it would turn out to be when I first read the title.
 

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