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join the stormcloaks and before the battle of whiterun betray them and join the imperials. then kill the son of a bitch, and kill irilith for not "luv"ing you back.
I want Thais dead... and not just killed no oh no first I want to have her unmentionables torn to shreds then her eyes burned out (FYI you can live through that) and then for her to be slowly killed with a poison dripping into were eyes were.... is that weird?