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Gunnbjorn

Formerly known as Arillious
No, our situations aren't so different. I'm in a mood right now, this isn't how I feel from day to day. There isn't much you can do Gun except listen and advise, and you've done that. It's just that I feel "past my prime". I feel weak, unwanted. Finding a girl isn't so different than looking for a job really. I'll never realize either if I give up. This is why this sucks. My head and heart are out of sync. I know what to do, but it's hard and it scares me. I've been hurt deeply in the past and don't want that again, but that's the risk I have to take. I'm so naive though, so inexperienced. I feel like I'm so far behind I'll never catch up.

It's hard and it scares you. Everyone else has the same exact feelings. Do it and succeed, best day ever, and you have a whole new outlook on yourself as a person. Do it and fail, a sad day or two, but you ultimately don't gain or lose anything. Do nothing, you don't gain or lose anything, but you have the constant badger in your head popping up and asking you 'What if you took action and it worked out in your favor?'

I don't know how much you like this girl, and it's because of this I'm stuck as far as how close our situations are. My situation right now is I work with this girl who I crush on HARD. I talk to her all the time at my work, She's my favorite person to work with and I'm hers, we have some sort of vibe going but I can't quite put my tongue on it. She is currently dating, or seeing, someone - this lazy slob that also works with me. I don't see what she sees, but ultimately I know it's going bad and I continue to act Romeo to the point that she realizes I'm amazing and wonderful and we go out and marry and have children... blah.

Main concern is she's a Sophomore in College, and I'm a Senior in High School. I hope she doesn't find the age gap too big, or else that would suck. She's really busy with sports at her school and lives in an apartment in the city so she has no social life whatsoever and that's great because no competition. She acts different around me in what she shares and the way she talks and that's what keeps me trying.

But back to you - again with the whole 'so far behind' and 'can't catch up' that's all just lack of confidence man, nobody can really help you with that but yourself, unless you hire Will Smith from Hitch. You just have to take the risk, where there's at least a 50% success rate, or make no move at all, where there's a 100% chance of you not getting the girl, and a 100% chance of you lingering on this moment for the rest of your life asking yourself what could have been.
 

Simus

An Excellent Site Member
I don't know this girl all that well but I really like her. Like as in "hey! You're fun to be around! I like hanging out with you!" I felt the same way about a girl in my last semester of college and we ended on good terms (for once! Woohoo!) I need to get to know this girl more before I know how I really feel about her. Proclaiming your love to someone you barely know is a bad idea. Trust me :D
 

Abyssion

Member
I really hope things work out for you Gun, and you Keely. I don't think they will for me. I've got a girl on my mind myself and I really like spending time with her and everybody else at Friday Night Magic. I don't want to be friend-zoned but It'll turn to crap if I try anything else. It always does. The only girl I've ever been with was a week of unbelievable happiness and months of miserable long-distance and a breakup-sparked depression that got worse by the month. She was insane and I was too puppy-eyed to see it. I've never forgiven myself for being so blind and that was four years ago. Any other love interests I've had have been unrequited and with girls I no longer speak to as a result. I'm 24 years old, I did 5 years of college and I've never had a real, stable, steady girl. I don't know what it means to be in a relationship and I've never had sex. I don't even have a job and I'll never be able to drive without a new pair of eyes. There are nights, and tonight's one of the worse ones because I've got a girl on my mind, where I realize how desperate I am for a relationship because I feel like I'm only half a man. I'm at the age group where it's all gotta be about sex and I've got no experience so I'm out. It's hard to meet people and I have a talent for finding girls who have boyfriends or I'm not around long enough to get anywhere with. That was the downside of College, at least for me. My head says I don't want this girl at my game shop, I'm just so pathetic I'll cling to anything with boobs. I could have, should have, gotten dates in High School and College and been in relationships but I didn't. I wasn't. Now I'm home for the sixteenth month in a row and my world's gotten small again.

I'll never find anyone so why should I bother living? Because I have to. Life is sad and miserable and you don't get to check out early. So I'll get to live my life alone with no way out. Boy I can't wait until tomorrow.

Dude I've been in the place where you are/was for 3 years, I had the same mindset, I had it to the point where it took over my life, it controlled me and ruined me to the point were I tried to end it all 4 times. For the way you're feeling about yourself all I can say is persevere, I know the line "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" is extremely clichéd but it is true, WHEN you get through this dark place you WILL be stronger because of it. I'm not saying it will be easy, but the personal steel and resolve you have after this experience will help in building your confidence.
You say you've never had a stable/steady relationship? Don't put yourself down because of it, its actually a rather commendable thing; the fact that you know what you want and are looking/waiting for the right person, as for not having sex, that goes hand in hand with looking for the right person, you just don't want "a quick fix" you obviously want "the whole experience".
If there is a girl you wanna be with, build a foundation with her, then tell her how you feel, yeah it may not go the way you want, but view it as experience/a learning curve and use it for the next time :). I don't mean anything here to come across patronising so my apologies if it does, but if you ever need someone to talk I'll be happy to lend an ear.
 

High King of Skyrim

King of the barbarian horde
I really hope things work out for you Gun, and you Keely. I don't think they will for me. I've got a girl on my mind myself and I really like spending time with her and everybody else at Friday Night Magic. I don't want to be friend-zoned but It'll turn to crap if I try anything else. It always does. The only girl I've ever been with was a week of unbelievable happiness and months of miserable long-distance and a breakup-sparked depression that got worse by the month. She was insane and I was too puppy-eyed to see it. I've never forgiven myself for being so blind and that was four years ago. Any other love interests I've had have been unrequited and with girls I no longer speak to as a result. I'm 24 years old, I did 5 years of college and I've never had a real, stable, steady girl. I don't know what it means to be in a relationship and I've never had sex. I don't even have a job and I'll never be able to drive without a new pair of eyes. There are nights, and tonight's one of the worse ones because I've got a girl on my mind, where I realize how desperate I am for a relationship because I feel like I'm only half a man. I'm at the age group where it's all gotta be about sex and I've got no experience so I'm out. It's hard to meet people and I have a talent for finding girls who have boyfriends or I'm not around long enough to get anywhere with. That was the downside of College, at least for me. My head says I don't want this girl at my game shop, I'm just so pathetic I'll cling to anything with boobs. I could have, should have, gotten dates in High School and College and been in relationships but I didn't. I wasn't. Now I'm home for the sixteenth month in a row and my world's gotten small again.

I'll never find anyone so why should I bother living? Because I have to. Life is sad and miserable and you don't get to check out early. So I'll get to live my life alone with no way out. Boy I can't wait until tomorrow.
As I don't know you from a bar of soap I'll obviously tread lightly here but you need to lift. What I mean is, this sad, horrible, way you obviously see yourself, is what women see when they look at you. This is unfair, because you obviously have a massive heart and so much to offer someone special. Rev yourself up, believe in yourself, then approach that girl you like. As men we all crash and burn with women more times than we'd care to admit but just remember, failure is just a part of success. Believe in yourself mate, things can only change if you change them. Life is precious, who ever said it was easy?, because Lord knows it's not. Man up, take what's yours. Only you have that power! Good luck and chin up.
 

Simus

An Excellent Site Member
I'm a wretched human being.

Most of you who know me know that I graduated from college in May 2012 with a Bachelors of Science in Biology and have been looking for a job since. What none of you probably know is how little effort I've put forth to it. I've searched online, I've looked at schools to increase my education, I took a Pharmacy Technician course to make myself more marketable. I even passed the certification exams for the state of Virginia and the national level. I now have a state license and will get my national license in a matter of weeks. My parents have been nothing but supportive of me. They've let me live here free of charge, helped me in any way they can, they've taken care of my bills, they've even given me spending money. Usually a generous amount before an MTG event or some other trip I want to do with my friends IRL. So how do I repay their kindness? I sit on my ass most of the day and play video games and hang out here.

My definition of "heavy" job searching is two or three hours of straight work and those days are rare. Most days I spend anywhere from fifteen minutes to an hour looking for a job when I have all day. Many days I don't look at all. I want a job so I can start to earn money and build my own life. I know all the right things to say and I mean them when I say them but I'm too comfortable here. I have money, food, support, everything I need to convince myself I can stay here forever. Spending a few hours with your parents in the evening is a small price to pay when you have complete freedom for the rest of day with complete financial security. They've decided these comforts have come to an end.

They were gone all last week to celebrate their thirtieth wedding anniversary in the northeast US, mainly New York City and Martha's Vineyard. They had a great time and I had the house to myself. I got the mail, I watered the flowers, I worked out and walked every day, all the little things. But I didn't look for a job. Why should I? I had the week off with no one to check up on me. I was free to do whatever I wanted, just like in college. So what if I'm now receiving assistance from the Virginia Department of the Aging and Rehabilitative Services to help me find a job and I agreed to do certain things to make that happen? I can make an appointment whenever I want. It didn't matter that I hadn't earned a week off, I took one anyway, because I could.

The parents were not happy with this. Not at all. In fact they were furious with me, and that's very rare. They don't yell, they don't have to. My dad is very good at calmly laying out whatever stupid decision I made, letting that get under my skin and just let me drive myself nuts. My mom has a temper of steel. She knows exactly what to say to cut right through me. I don't do very well when I'm put on the spot and I don't like conflict so I don't vocalize very much when I'm mad at someone. I completely shut them out, or I'm at a loss for words and can't speak for my defense. The latter is usually how I react when my mom confronts me like this. She accused me of completely blowing off my responsibilities and of not wanting a job. That I had one meeting with my state representative and I quit because I expect to sit back and let her find a job for me. I have significant barriers with my vision and not being able to drive, mom recognizes that, but I'm not even trying anymore and she laid out all my little sins and screw ups all in front of me. She's going to cut my money down to what I need for bills and nothing more and she's going to take the power cord to my computer so I can't game during the day. If I continue to post during the day she'll cut off the wi-fi. She accused me of acting like a child even though I'll be twenty-five in February so she's going to treat me like one. I didn't know what to say because everything she accused me of was true. If we switched roles I'd do the exact same thing. That cold understanding has only made all this harder to accept, not easier. I feel like a prisoner in my own home.

The day went on and they both dropped it. They're good at that. I wasn't satisfied. I kept bringing it up because I'm mad at myself for squandering my chances to move my life forward. I'm mad at them for deciding to drag me forward by my ankles. I'm mad at myself because even though video games are the catalyst for my current misery, my own choices led me here. I brought it up at dinner, finally having the stones to get angry. Mom said she wanted me to get mad at her because that would at least show movement. I raved at myself for no longer caring about my future and at them for acting like I have an addiction and becoming my wardens. They reminded me that they still love me, that I still have their trust, that I need to move on, that they only want to help me. In my head I know they're right but my heart says it's all bullplops. I don't care if they do or do not want me, I've squandered their gifts and now I don't deserve them. I feel like I need to leave to set things right, to put me out of their misery, but I can't. I have no job, no money and no place to go. I can't leave them until I change my ways and start caring again. That's all they want, I know that, but I hate them for what I've forced them to do. I wish they were dead. If they die, maybe my own guilt will die too. I can't tell them this, they told me to just care again and not to sit around and cry about it but they're not me. They don't know how I feel or how easy it is to just give up on ever getting a job like I've done.

I feel like an addict who knows he's going to lose his drug very soon. They say I'm like an addict. I told them it wasn't funny and they became deadly serious. They worry about me so much, that when I go off on my own I'll dig a hole for myself and never get out. Weight, gaming, either are likely. They're taking such drastic steps because they love me and they want to help. I love them too but I can't stand them now. I wish I could take my guilt and self-loathing, strangle them both with it and throw all of it away.
 

Lady Imp

Rabid Wolverine
:sadface: Simus

Job hunting SUCKS. Especially in this economy. There's nothing worse than spending all that time in school and not being able to do anything with it - especially when people in our generation were told "go to college, you'll get an excellent job!!" HA! Biggest lie ever. I give you props for continuing your education and finding a practical application in you field of study (ish) to make yourself adaptable to the job market.

I must say though, I don't quite blame your parents for getting upset - if it were my parents, I would have heard the same thing. They have been quite generous in helping you out, and I'm sure they feel like you're being more of a mooch than anything else. If I were them, I would be frustrated too. But the good news is, you recognize that there is an issue here, which is the first step in fixing things.

I know that job hunting sucks - I spent 4 years half-assed trying to get out of my crappy job before I got the job that I have now. The funny thing is, I didn't even get a call for an interview until I went full steam ahead into the job search. Which you're going to have to do. Funny thing about job hunting though, is that with the availability of the internet, it makes it way easier - although admittedly, quite tedious.

In an effort to prove to your parents that you're making an effort, I would recommend taking these few steps:

1) Get on LinkedIn. It is a seriously powerful marketing tool. Create a profile, and be as detailed as possible. You'll see what I mean when I get there, you'll be able to list all your academic stuff as well as any certifications, babble a little bit about yourself and what you're looking for in a job, blah blah blah. You'll also be able to search for networking groups (I just went in and started typing in "pharmacy" and there are several groups to join) and you'll be able to put a post saying "hey, I'm Simus, I am a certified Pharm Tech and you wanna hire me because I'm freaking awesome." As I'm telling you to do this, I'm updating my own profile, as a matter of fact. But anyways, it's an incredible tool, use it to your advantage. The more involved you are and the more vocal you are, the more likely you will be to get noticed. Added bonus: you can do it all behind a computer screen. :)

2) Update your resume. Your first best bet is to Google resume writing tips for your particular area of expertise - cause things go out of date really fast in today's world. For example, in some industries, it's considered tacky to include an "Objectives" section. The biggest advice I can give you is keep in mind your audience. My father used to immediately throw away resumes longer than a page, as well as those from people who felt the need to list irrelevant accomplishments. He was only interested in what they could contribute as physicists, he really didn't give a plops that they spent a year feeding hungry camels in the Sahara.

3) Once you've gotten your resume updated, get some nice paper (but not tacky nice, you're not sending wedding invitations...a nice off-white is recommended, not overly-textured, but not your normal copy type...a nice bond will be good. Why, you may ask? It makes your resume stand out in a stack of white paper) and have someone take you around to pharmacies. Talk to the pharmacists themselves, as most pharmacies allow them to do their own hiring. Make yourself seen, start discussing your knowledge, drop some drug names or something ("I heard Glaxo-Smith-Kline is talking about dropping a drug to make feet stink less, what do you think about that?" or something along those lines...you know way more about the subject than I do, you know what I'm getting at). This way, you're more than just a resume and an application: you have a face, and with the face you have some knowledge associated behind it. This is a more intimidating method, but it will get you the best results. Added bonus: your parents will see your effort.

One thing I would like you to keep in mind though is to keep any disabilities on the DL during your job hunt. The Americans with Disabilities Act makes it very clear that it is illegal to discriminate on employment because of a disability, but the fact of the matter is that it happens all the time. Trust me from experience as someone who was job hunting while pregnant, it may feel dishonest, but it's in your best interest. Because you're gonna get discriminated against, whether consciously or subconsciously, as much as it pains me to say it, it's the sad truth. I know that pregnancy websites suggest waiting until the job offer has come in before you let them know, as if they rescind the offer, you will be have a stronger footing to sue them for violations, as it will be easier to prove the denial of job due to nothing more than the disability. Most employers however won't take an offer back for this very reason.

This is going to be the most difficult, tedious, time-consuming, ego-busting, bash your head on the desk thing that you've ever done. Trust me, there is gonna be a list a mile long of things you would rather be doing, starting with cleaning out your nails with needles covered in microscopic fire ants contaminated with HIV, but it's gonna hafta be done. What I want you to do is, when you wake up every morning and inevitably go to pee (cause everyone hasta do that when they first wake up), when you go to wash your hands, I want you to look at yourself straight in the mirror and say "I am going to find a job today." And believe it. I could be tacky and say that nothing worth having ever comes free, but I don't feel like being tacky, so in typical Lady Imp fashion imma say "suck it up, STFU and get your ass on Monster." Which was probably what you were waiting for me to say all along. :)

Good luck. :)
 

TJ0331

Nords forever
I hate all the bullplops I have to do in the Marines. Thats about it.
 

TJ0331

Nords forever
I hate all the bullpl*** I have to do in the Marines. Thats about it.
What do you say when confronted with a genuine hero? Thankyou for starters. You and your comrade's courage keeps us free. We'll never forget. God bless!!!![/quot
I hate all the bullpl*** I have to do in the Marines. Thats about it.
What do you say when confronted with a genuine hero? Thankyou for starters. You and your comrade's courage keeps us free. We'll never forget. God bless!!!!
Thanks for the support. Yes we technically defend the country but we have to go through some things in the background that most people don't know about. I just felt the need to vent. I hope you do well in the present and future.
 

Lady Imp

Rabid Wolverine
I've asked for a name change numerous times this week and have been totally ignored. SF Moderators, you suck!!!
The moderator is very ill. Please be patient with her while she recovers.

Sent when I should probably be working instead...
 

Nephor The Shadow Stalker

Strike swiftly and silently.
I generally hate a lot of things. Stupidity disrespectfulness & someone's lack of hygiene but the thing that urks me the most is laziness. So many times have had to do someone else's because they were to busy sitting on their fat ass!
 

Simus

An Excellent Site Member
fluff Congress and fluff the government shutdown. Both my parents had to go into work for four hours just so they could be told to go home and now there's no telling when they'll be able to go again. All because the tea party's dragging its feet about a healthcare program which has been signed, stamped, approved and made constitution in every way possible. You guys lost! Grow up and accept it! Don't shut down the entire government just because you're immature!
 

Nephor The Shadow Stalker

Strike swiftly and silently.
fluff Congress and fluff the government shutdown. Both my parents had to go into work for four hours just so they could be told to go home and now there's no telling when they'll be able to go again. All because the tea party's dragging its feet about a healthcare program which has been signed, stamped, approved and made constitution in every way possible. You guys lost! Grow up and accept it! Don't shut down the entire government just because you're immature!
It's pretty bad when people of power are sore losers. Baby want baba?:p
 

Simus

An Excellent Site Member
It's worse when everybody but them suffers for their idiocy. Baby always get baba, especially when no one else does.
 

Nephor The Shadow Stalker

Strike swiftly and silently.
Guess my attempt at h could use a little work. I'm not very political but some valid points are made when the little guy says something.
 

Dabiene Caristiana

Your friendly neighborhood weirdo
fluff Congress and fluff the government shutdown. Both my parents had to go into work for four hours just so they could be told to go home and now there's no telling when they'll be able to go again. All because the tea party's dragging its feet about a healthcare program which has been signed, stamped, approved and made constitution in every way possible. You guys lost! Grow up and accept it! Don't shut down the entire government just because you're immature!

Honestly? Remember the time everyone, the time where when you were a little kid, and you always fought about stupid shiz with your siblings or friends, like fighting over who got the last cookie or who got to choose the next fantasy game in the back yard, or who cheated during the game your playing? Also, do you remember how your parents told you to get over it and a few days later you kissed and made up with your pal or sibling, (not really but you get my point) and everything went back to normal like nothing happened? HA!!

Yeah, we back then had a lot more maturity than people in that big sack of a hill they call "capital hill". Obama's speech today about "Us being adults and acting like it"? I found that ironic. ON SO MANY LEVELS.

It'll also be fun in the future after 3 years when those idiots are out of office, where I can sue and rant off their asses for giving my dad high blood pressure, along with many other elders that are shaking their head at the childishness of it all! Meanwhile, it's also sad when you're the one that orders everyone to pass a gods damn bill and yet you turn your nose up at it after calling it a grand thing by your leader. Wonderful.

I'm starting to think my dad won't live to be 100. He'll probably kick the bucket from all this drama right before seeing our glorious leaders being kicked off their high horse.

I don't give a damn who's Republican, Democrat, Independent, Conservative, Liberal... I don't give a crap! Do your job, and quit acting like 5 year olds who are fighting, over the last lollipop I the infamous candy store down the block.
And to quote Debra on Everybody Loves Ray:

"Idiot(s)."

*Huff, Huff* sorry everyone, had to get that off my chest. I wish I could be a little kid again... Ignorance IS BLISS. For a time anyway.
 

T. Rakinson

A Brute among Beasts
I dont make the mistake of wishing my childhood away. These last few years of protection, and then its the big world...
Compared to the US, Britain in size is like a pea next to a spud. but a good 50 million people gotta get jobs, and with immagrants coming in every day (please note i have no harsh thoughts towards them) it gets harder and harder. Being an aethiest and bit of a loner, All i get in forms of support are my family and a guidance counseler that sounds like they've got problems of their own.
Government's no superheroes either. Just before election waves of amnesia go across the country, either that or people think switching parties every elections going to help the country. Now you got all this talk about bombs near parliament and talk of chemical weaponry, depression ratings through the roof.

What i hate most in life is those people who were teasing, bullying d---heads in school and college,but then go on to get fancy jobs and all that bull. feels like sheer injustice. And then you got the kind but not so smart people (i wont say im one of them) who end up homeless or in a shack so bad you might as well be. AND YOU CANT DO ANYTHING.
 

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