Janus3003's Skyrim Marriage Counseling

I'm involved in something of a love triangle.

I'm married to Lydia, but lately I've been liking Uthgerd a lot and, I'll admit, there have been several times that I didn't get back home until morning (if you know what I mean). Now, I'm uneasy and nervous around both Lydia and Uthgerd, and when I'm out shopping with Lydia and I see Uthgerd, I have to hide my face as neither knows about the other. I am afraid that soon one of them will discover the other and things will not end well. What do I do?

Urzek
While physical attraction is important in a relationship, it should only be one component of it. It shouldn't be the first reason you're with a person, as beauty eventually fades, and there's always someone out there more physically appealing.

Choose with your heart, not your plumbing.
...and leave the horse out of the equation. Far out of it.

Chowder138
Come clean to both of them immediately. The longer you wait, the worse it'll be. They'll be mad at you, of course, because their hearts are not toys to be played with. You made a vow to your wife, and she to you. It isn't to be thrown away just because it feels nice, because you're lonely, or because you're just plain bored.

Relationships can be repaired after something like this, but not without considerable effort and time on your part.

Dear Janus,

I married Camilla Valerius, and she is just very annoying. She keeps telling me shes happy the golden claw is back. I was planning on buying Honeyside in Riften, and making it her tomb. I dont want to resort to killing, but i dont know what else to do.

JBar2531
Have you tried talking to her? Have you made it clear that you don't like talking about the golden claw? Perhaps she doesn't even know you're upset.
Murder's a very permanent "solution" for something like this.

Oh she knows alright....

Consider separation for the time being, if you must.
However, you might also try bringing back that spark that attracted you to her in the first place. Perform small acts of kindness for her, make her dinner, light some candles and do most of the "work" yourself in your "Lover's Comfort." It's worked wonders for many troubled couples, and it may work for you, too.

Dear Marriage-Counselling Person,

My name is Conquers-His-Foes, and I am an argonian with a problem. You see, for much of my life I've considered "feelings" trivial, worthless distractions in the race for power. That mindset is what allowed me to accept the gift of vamprism, elongating my life indefinitely. For years I traveled across Tamriel, growing my influence and power. Just recently I arrived in Skyrim, where I found what I considered my true home among the Volikhar clan of vampires in the far northern lands bordering High Rock. For the next three months all seemed well; I quickly rose among the ranks of the Volikhar, eventually becoming chief adviser to Lord Harkon himself. During the course of my ascension to power, however, I encountered a bit of a problem; Harkon's daughter appears to love me, and seems to believe that I share her feelings. Yet, I don't. She follows me everywhere, insisting that I help dethrone her father, as he would never bless our union. At times I am tempted to just kill the poor girl and be done with it, though I dare not do so, for fear of angering her father. But, this is not the only thing troubling me. You see, before joining the Volikhar, I was forced to temporarily align myself with a crazed group of vampire-hunting extremists known as the "Dawnguard" (it's a long story). During this time - oh, I'm embarrassed to admit it - I... well, I- I- I fell for a Bosmer woman named Beleval. something I swore I'd never do... the problem is, I am a vampire, and she is sworn to hunt down my kind! And, to add to my problems, I have been ordered to clear Fort Dawnguard of it's inhabitants, including Beleval! I... I just don't know what to do! Should I warn Beleval, try and escape with her, away from Skyrim, away from my problems? If I did that then I'm not sure she'd accept me, and not only for my vampirism... I could never enthrall her into coming with me, nor could I convince her to accept my affliction. Should I simply ignore my feelings for her and return to my old philosophy? And also, should I be rid of Serena, Harkon's daughter? I've constantly alluded to the fact that I do not love her, but she seems to ignore me every time I try to express my feelings! Please help!

Sincerely, Conquers-His-Foes

The_Madgod
@Conquers-His-Foes
Hmm, this is definitely a tough one. I think you should meet with Beleval and see what she truly thinks, as you won't know until you ask. Perhaps you'll find that she's more important to you than vampirism, or maybe she'll decide to become one herself for you.
As for Serana, stop alluding, and be blunt that you do not feel the same way for her. If she continues to pester you, consider getting the local police to step in.

Janus3003 said:

The_Madgod
@Conquers-His-Foes
Hmm, this is definitely a tough one. I think you should meet with Beleval and see what she truly thinks, as you won't know until you ask. Perhaps you'll find that she's more important to you than vampirism, or maybe she'll decide to become one herself for you.
As for Serana, stop alluding, and be blunt that you do not feel the same way for her. If she continues to pester you, consider getting the local police to step in.

Click to expand...

So, basically, you're asking me to tell a sworn vampire hunter that I am a vampire and I love her and then to tell the daughter of an extremely powerful man who has the resources to turn off the sun to fl*ff off? Well, that all checks out!

Dear Janus

Recently my wife confessed to me she's the Listener of the Dark Brotherhood. I'm not really sure what the right thing to do is. I ended up telling her she either had to give up killing people or me. But I'm wondering if I should leave her anyway on account of she's a murderer. She said she'd choose me, but then insisted on killing all her work friends as she was convinced they'd kill us if she didn't kill them first. Does this mean she picked killing people over me?

This whole issue is even more complicated as I honestly fear if I left her right now she'd die. The Night Mother, perhaps understandably, was not very happy with my wife's decision of wiping out her children. Now my wife spends most of her time clutching her head and screaming at a voice only she can hear. She isn't sleeping, and I don't even think she'd remember to eat if I wasn't putting food in front of her.

What do you think I should do?

PS Do you know the name of a good exorcist?

Dear Janus,

Your advice sucked. I am now being hunted by both a clan of immortal vampires and vampire hunters. Go die.

Sincerely, Conquers-His-Foes

P.S. I'm a decent exorcist, but I'll only help if you can sneak me off of Tamriel. These vampires are persistent!

Wildroses
I'm afraid I have little advice to offer, other than you (and possibly your wife, should she so desire) enter the Witness Protection Program.
As for an exorcist, the closest one I know of is a man named Ashley Williams, but I don't think you'll approve of his methods.

The_Madgod
Conquer-His-Foes
Who sucks more? The sucker, or the sucker who follows his sucky advice?

Dear Janus,

My name is Beem-Shei and I am an argonian that recently joined the thieves guild. While doing a job in Windhelm I walking along the docks and I met Shahvee. She had an upbeat personality and always looked on the bright side of things, not to mention she was beautiful. We quickly fell deep in love. Since she was a former thief she didn't mind my profession. We got married the next year. We moved into the house I recently purchased in Riften. After a couple months of the married life we decide we wanted children. That's when the problem arose.
We had "Lover's comfort" almost every night for two months, and never had any signs of children. So, we went to the local alchemy shop as that was the closest thing to a doctor we could afford. Turns out I can't have children. We were devestated. The next day we got a letter that said that the local orphanage was opened for adoptions. There was a spark of hope. We went straight to the orphanage but to my wife's dismay there were no argonian children. Now every time I even mention anything about children she says its my fault we can't have a family that we both desperately want. She refuse to even think about adopting non-argonian children and mentioning that gets me a week of the silent treatment. She says it's not right to raise human children in a argonian family. Is there anyway reason with her into adopting a human child?

Yakkro said:

Dear Janus,

My name is Beem-Shei and I am an argonian that recently joined the thieves guild. While doing a job in Windhelm I walking along the docks and I met Shahvee. She had an upbeat personality and always looked on the bright side of things, not to mention she was beautiful. We quickly fell deep in love. Since she was a former thief she didn't mind my profession. We got married the next year. We moved into the house I recently purchased in Riften. After a couple months of the married life we decide we wanted children. That's when the problem arose.
We had "Lover's comfort" almost every night for two months, and never had any signs of children. So, we went to the local alchemy shop as that was the closest thing to a doctor we could afford. Turns out I can't have children. We were devestated. The next day we got a letter that said that the local orphanage was opened for adoptions. There was a spark of hope. We went straight to the orphanage but to my wife's dismay there were no argonian children. Now every time I even mention anything about children she says its my fault we can't have a family that we both desperately want. She refuse to even think about adopting non-argonian children and mentioning that gets me a week of the silent treatment. She says it's not right to raise human children in a argonian family. Is there anyway reason with her into adopting a human child?

Click to expand...

Honestly, I'd just wait for the orphanage to stop being racist and adopt an Argonian when available.

We still love each other very much but want to bring our relationship to the next level. But I feel that this is turning our marriage apart. Please help!

Yakkro
These things cannot be forced, I'm afraid. You might consider taking Shahvee out to public festivals and similar matters where she'll be exposed to more human children, but that won't necessarily make her want one for herself. The human heart can be unreasonable at times.
As Chowder suggested, keep an eye out for an Argonian child to adopt. Or consider a journey to the Black Marsh and find a child there.

Janus3003 said:

Yakkro
These things cannot be forced, I'm afraid. You might consider taking Shahvee out to public festivals and similar matters where she'll be exposed to more human children, but that won't necessarily make her want one for herself. The human heart can be unreasonable at times.
As Chowder suggested, keep an eye out for an Argonian child to adopt. Or consider a journey to the Black Marsh and find a child there.

Click to expand...

You forgot about the giant invisible barriers covering all of Skyrim's borders through which the Dovahkiin may not pass.

finally some one to talk to okay so i arrived in skyrim a while back so im strolling threw riften and find out i can get an amulet and propose so i get the amulet then go to whiterun i ask all these women but they aint intrested so i go into the inn and a guy called uthgerd is there and wants to brawl so i do then to my suprise its actually a woman and i can get married to her so in the spur of the moment i do i mean i just took a few good knocks to the head so u know i end up married the thing is shes so fugly i cant even get an erection it was that bad we had to adopt kids because if i was to lay with her id be thinking of a falmer. ohh but i have tried to make it work for the kids sake as much as mine. i even heard the illegal drug skooma could make me go all night i drank 24 and a half bottles and still couldnt do the deed. i couldnt take it anymore we where arguing all the time in front off the kids and i thought we cant do this anymore i need a divorce and to be happy again. but know what u cant divorce in skyrim must be some nord law or something so i think to myself how to get rid of this wench well i thought what does she actually do for me first nothing she profits from me when i buy from her homeshop so i thought the jarl could help he says no a women can make profit frrom a man u cant leave her ure her husband its the nord ways and i cant even argue because im a nord myself. so i cracked she had been actin strange recently i attacked her with my daedric sword and killed her but the kids little hroar and runa they hated me so i had to reload i dont wanna be a bad papa please help i keep crying and if it gets any worse im gonna sleep with a hag. wb as soon as possible or ill top myself with a mixture of treesap and skooma. p.s how much is this session do i pay by the hour for this cou
ncilling

Shadow King
Try going out to battle together. That tends to increase sexual desire for one another (for some reason). It's why you see a ton of Dragonborns marrying their followers.

And counseling's free, though regular, full sessions require payment. I accept most insurance companies.

I see no one has posted their problems for a while and well I think I will add my own problem...

Dear Janus

So I got married to Vilkas and I thought it waa the perfect match for my Woodelf and we were wonderfully in love, always sleeping together. Then one day he started to sleep during the day and he kept doing it for about a month and never stopped sleeping in the day. I got quite upset as during the day I was usually out doing... stuff.

So I decided that if I sleep at night he might join me... guess what, he never joined me I was so upset, so I decided if getting rid of his Lycanthope would help, but no he kept sleeping the day and it got worse... I sit next to him in our dining room and when I sat down next to him, he walked away and sat at the other end of the table.

I went over to him and sat next to him again and he walked away again, back to the other side, so I screwed dinner and went upstairs. Vilkas came up and went to bed and I went to join him and I only slept for one hour and when I awoke I never got a lovers rest because he left when I got in. So I started to sleep during the day with him, but he kept leaving whenever I got in.

So I got frustrated and left the house and started staying in my own and when I decided I should visit him again Camilia from bloody Riverwood was in bed with him, so I Fus Ro Dahed her out of the bed then when she was runnign away I did it again and she fell down the stair and I then set her on fire and then Vilkas tried to kill me.

I left the house and refused to talk to him, but he never came to get me

Please help before I Fus Ro Dah him down the stairs like Camilia

Your sinceraly
LE