Aww man... this guy RUINED the Thieves Guild for me....

Gigapact · Aug 11, 2014

So, I've always decently liked the Thieves Guild main quest line. Some parts of it I was kinda iffy and didn't make sense, but I never really dwelled on it too much and moved on, until this guy (link posted below). If you have some time, read this, but beware spoilers of the Thieves guild.

It is HILARIOUS. There's a couple parts to it. But he has ruined the Thieves Guild for me, but at least given me a ton of laughs. Post your thoughts on it below! It get's funnier as it goes along.

Here's the link:
http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=14422

Naginata · Aug 11, 2014

I wanna read it but I also don't want the Thieves Guild to be ruined for me.

I prefer the Thieves Guild from Oblivion better though

Gigapact · Aug 11, 2014

Naginata said:
I wanna read it but I also don't want the Thieves Guild to be ruined for me. I prefer the Thieves Guild from Oblivion better though

Have you already played through the TG in Skyrim? But I get your reason for not wanting to read it. But I'm telling you... it's hilarious. I read it all last night and couldn't look away. This guy does a great job!

Egglet_Mcgee · Aug 11, 2014

The only thriving bits in the thieves guild are the side quests and there boring after doing one or two of each.
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Pete · Aug 11, 2014

As to the blog:

1) Wrong - Brynjolf says two different into lines lines based on if your rich or poor. Trust me I've been both...
2) The first steal, plant job is to see if u have the guts and smarts to pull if off. (I wont say anything about how the crates are set out and making use of them)
3) The idiot is underwhelmed by doing the golden glow estate! OMG. Try pulling that off without firing one shot and never being noticed. Best sense of satisfaction ever!
4) Maven is awesome. Later on, doing some favors for her has nice rewards. Who wants to work for a wimp.
5) As for the meed caper, the whole point is to sure up Maven and get on her good side. Along with realizing that being told what your asked to do, doesn't necessarily match up with what you'll face (and the fact your not told key parts)

I think he misses the whole point -- thieving is about living on the knifes edge of silence and manipulation.

BigBad · Aug 11, 2014

I thought thieving was about stealing stuff.

Daelon DuLac · Aug 11, 2014

BigBad said:
I thought thieving was about stealing stuff.

Well... that and changing ledgers, teaching lessons, undercutting competitors, you know, basic corporate practices. Oh! And revenge! REVENGE! REVENGE! And worshiping some broad in a skimpy outfit and a sexy voice while wearing a leather superhero outfit.

Lucid · Aug 11, 2014

That's pretty funny. Didn't ruin the TG questline though, Karliah already did that for me. I can't argue with most of his snark about her.

Toxius · Aug 11, 2014

Naginata said:
I wanna read it but I also don't want the Thieves Guild to be ruined for me. I prefer the Thieves Guild from Oblivion better though

Ah the days where you HAD to prove yourself to be a thief.
Also where you actually Stole stuff, and had multiple fences to sell it off to.
ah what else. Who can forget the grand heist?

Skyrim thieves guild is just...

Naginata · Aug 11, 2014

Gigapact said:
Naginata said:

I wanna read it but I also don't want the Thieves Guild to be ruined for me. I prefer the Thieves Guild from Oblivion better though

Click to expand...

Have you already played through the TG in Skyrim? But I get your reason for not wanting to read it. But I'm telling you... it's hilarious. I read it all last night and couldn't look away. This guy does a great job!

I have played it all the way through, yes, so it wouldn't spoil anything... but still

Raijin · Aug 11, 2014

The very moment I heard Karliah's obnoxious voice was the moment I knew she was going to ruin the thieves guild for me, and she did exactly that. And Brynjolf obnoxious inferior intellect ruined it for me as well as he was willing to sell his soul to the crow bitch in order for him to fight Mercer.... to which he never did.

You would think being the second command of the thieve guild would require intelligence, but I guess that isn't the case here.

Wildroses · Aug 12, 2014

I only ever did the Thieves Guild questline once because I wanted to know the storyline. It did not impress me enough to repeat.

The moment I became disgusted with the Thieves Guild was when you are railroaded into selling your soul to Nocturnal. It was disappointing for a game which prides itself on player choice and roleplaying freedom.

I got even more annoyed when killing Mercer took about three underwhelming minutes. "Seriously? THIS was the foe who was going to be so hard my only chance was to promise to spend my afterlife guarding a temple then becoming part of a mystical thief helping force? I've fought harder bears!" There is someone on this forum who is convinced Karliah tricked the PC and Brynjolf into becoming Nightingales for the sole reason of getting back into Nocturnal's good books.

The stuff about Karliah's cunning plan of doing very little that took her twenty five years and Mercer somehow managing to smuggle seven treasure chests of loot out of the vault via the only door into the common room without anyone noticing had me laughing out loud. Thank you, OP.

Gigapact · Aug 12, 2014

Wildroses said:
I only ever did the Thieves Guild questline once because I wanted to know the storyline. It did not impress me enough to repeat.

The moment I became disgusted with the Thieves Guild was when you are railroaded into selling your soul to Nocturnal. It was disappointing for a game which prides itself on player choice and roleplaying freedom.

I got even more annoyed when killing Mercer took about three underwhelming minutes. "Seriously? THIS was the foe who was going to be so hard my only chance was to promise to spend my afterlife guarding a temple then becoming part of a mystical thief helping force? I've fought harder bears!" There is someone on this forum who is convinced Karliah tricked the PC and Brynjolf into becoming Nightingales for the sole reason of getting back into Nocturnal's good books.

The stuff about Karliah's cunning plan of doing very little that took her twenty five years and Mercer somehow managing to smuggle seven treasure chests of loot out of the vault via the only door into the common room without anyone noticing had me laughing out loud. Thank you, OP.

Yep that's the part of TG that originally irritated me before I read this guy's blog on the TG. Why do I HAVE to give my soul to her? For some armor that's inferior to my own? Which did not help me defeat Mercer at all. And for a once a day power that I get AFTER I beat Mercer and never use anyhow? And, sorry, while Nocturnal may be sexy, she is a BITCH and I can't stand the way she talks to me or anyone.

Toxius · Aug 12, 2014

Wildroses said:
I only ever did the Thieves Guild questline once because I wanted to know the storyline. It did not impress me enough to repeat.

The moment I became disgusted with the Thieves Guild was when you are railroaded into selling your soul to Nocturnal. It was disappointing for a game which prides itself on player choice and roleplaying freedom.

I got even more annoyed when killing Mercer took about three underwhelming minutes. "Seriously? THIS was the foe who was going to be so hard my only chance was to promise to spend my afterlife guarding a temple then becoming part of a mystical thief helping force? I've fought harder bears!" There is someone on this forum who is convinced Karliah tricked the PC and Brynjolf into becoming Nightingales for the sole reason of getting back into Nocturnal's good books.

The stuff about Karliah's cunning plan of doing very little that took her twenty five years and Mercer somehow managing to smuggle seven treasure chests of loot out of the vault via the only door into the common room without anyone noticing had me laughing out loud. Thank you, OP.

I had my fingers crossed the whole time when being sworn into that cult (or does it not count?).
But I agree, Is it really true to the part of Rp Freedom like what the other TES games have been.
If there was a choice to helping Mercer, The only one who seems to be a thief, I would.
Also where are the strict laws from Oblivion and paying blood tax or whatever it was for "killing" on the job.
Something you can get away from in Skyrim.

Plus I kept the skeleton key (The only worthwhile thing from the thieves guild). Not like Nocturnal is using it (She was also quite arrogant when I did return it, them being higher up Deadric princes and all... Compared to us puny Mundas Mortals.).

The article, well I read it the following New years after Skyrim came out.
I was glad to see I wasn't the only person who had a problem with the Thieves Guild.

Lucid · Aug 12, 2014

I too have always been bothered that you can't finish the questline without pledging your soul to Nocturnal. I do feel like Karliah pulled off a long con at the players expense.

The thought of eternity in the Evergloam is only bearable because I imagine that Mercer will be there to cause trouble with.

Ah, Mercer. I would have loved the option to kill Karliah with him as we set out to do. He's clearly the greatest thief in the game, stealing from the guild right under their noses, after stealing from a bloody daedric prince! I could have learned so much from him.

W'rkncacnter · Aug 12, 2014

It's nothing unique to the questline. . .

The college has a whole host of issues starting with trusting probably the most important mission in all of Tamriel (at that moment) to a newcomer who may or may not have any knowledge of magic. You are forced to join the college to gain access. . .required to track down an Elder Scroll (and obtain one of the stones of Barenziah). And the "expert" teachers assist in one mission which ends up with the player doing the heavy lifting anyway.

The companions forces you to become a werewolf in order to advance the questline. I've only run through it once so I can't remember any other issues it had.

Don't get me wrong, I love the game but it does have it's faults.

Naginata · Aug 12, 2014

I just read the whole thing. Goddamn, is this guy spot-on or what! He brought up great points and made me laugh at the stupidity of the questline as well.

Pronged Pickle · Aug 12, 2014

W'rkncacnter said:
It's nothing unique to the questline. . .

The college has a whole host of issues starting with trusting probably the most important mission in all of Tamriel (at that moment) to a newcomer who may or may not have any knowledge of magic. You are forced to join the college to gain access. . .required to track down an Elder Scroll (and obtain one of the stones of Barenziah). And the "expert" teachers assist in one mission which ends up with the player doing the heavy lifting anyway.

The companions forces you to become a werewolf in order to advance the questline. I've only run through it once so I can't remember any other issues it had.

Don't get me wrong, I love the game but it does have it's faults.

The Daedric Princes will all playing tug o' war with your soul once you die. Hermaeous Mora wants you in Apocrypha, Nocturnal wants you in the Evergloom 'cause you were conned into a deal, Hircine 'cause you're a werewolf now...or something.

...Then I hear (from a friend, so no guarantees of legitimacy) that the Dragonborn doesn't abide by those rules, and will probably go to Sovngarde anyway (assuming he/she's a Nord), disregarding all of his past interactions with the Daedra.

Cherry · Aug 12, 2014

My biggest problem with Skyrim's TG questline was the eyes of the Falmer "heist". It was no heist, it was a dungeon-dive like any other.

Raijin · Aug 12, 2014

I also finish reading the article and loved what I was reading, especially the moron part.

Aww man... this guy RUINED the Thieves Guild for me....

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