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I've found that Katria (the ghost from the quest "Lost to the Ages") can be kept as a permanent follower, and will equip any armour/weapons you give her.
The exploit must be carried out when you first meet her in Arkngthamz, and you will need to bring a platter.
Before talking to Katria...
My experience has been very similar. I've noticed that it works most of the time on my Imperial and High elf characters, but my Dunmer has never performed it successfully. So far, I have been able to spider-thrall everyone from Ulfric to Wyndelius Gatharian, but it does seem that some characters...