What are your family rules?
- Thread starter Bob Roberts
- Start date
Crowley
Active Member
I have a few reasonable family rules, which, I think helps bring the family that much closer together.
1. Stop trying to pimp out the housecarl, she has a very serious job to do.
2. If it's edible, it's not a pet.
3. The black sacrament is unnecessary, that's what daddy is for.
4. If the Grey-Mane girl is so bossy, punch her in the twat. She deserves it.
5. Do NOT touch the cheese. It is daddy's cheese. All of it.
6. Believe me, you don't want to summon Sheogorath. I've met him. He's mental.
7. If you have to fight with a sibling, wait until daddy gets home to watch it. He could use the entertainment and make bets with the neighbours.
8. If a dragon lands outside the house, you HAVE to fight it. That's why daddy gave you the wooden swords. They're not toys, they have damage ratings.
9. Having mum yell at you is nothing. Daddy is Dovahkiin. If daddy has to yell, he'll bring half the house down on your head. So shut the fluff up and do as you're told.
10. Pelagius' hip bone is not a toy. Put it down.
11. If you can't handle your mead, don't drink it. But you do get points for trying.
12. If I see you go near the Wabbajack again, I'll turn you into a rabbit and kick you down the hall.
13. Stop counting so quickly during hide and seek, you cheating little plops.
14. The object of tag is to tag someone. If you run towards me, then turn and run away, it doesn't count for anything. Play it properly or FUS ROH DAH!
15. You don't need to listen to the Jarl if he's an Imperial bootlicking bastard. But do as daddy says.
16. Saying "By the Eight" under my roof is punishable by a knee to the face.
17. If you're ever in trouble with the guards, shoot them in the knee. That's their weakness.
18. I know she looks to be your age, but Babette plays very different kinds of games and you are not ready for them yet.
19. I've seen Shadowmere kick a dragon in the face. Don't try to antagonise him.
20. Hail Sithis.
I'll stop there, but if anyone wants, I'm happy to try and come up with more.
1. Stop trying to pimp out the housecarl, she has a very serious job to do.
2. If it's edible, it's not a pet.
3. The black sacrament is unnecessary, that's what daddy is for.
4. If the Grey-Mane girl is so bossy, punch her in the twat. She deserves it.
5. Do NOT touch the cheese. It is daddy's cheese. All of it.
6. Believe me, you don't want to summon Sheogorath. I've met him. He's mental.
7. If you have to fight with a sibling, wait until daddy gets home to watch it. He could use the entertainment and make bets with the neighbours.
8. If a dragon lands outside the house, you HAVE to fight it. That's why daddy gave you the wooden swords. They're not toys, they have damage ratings.
9. Having mum yell at you is nothing. Daddy is Dovahkiin. If daddy has to yell, he'll bring half the house down on your head. So shut the fluff up and do as you're told.
10. Pelagius' hip bone is not a toy. Put it down.
11. If you can't handle your mead, don't drink it. But you do get points for trying.
12. If I see you go near the Wabbajack again, I'll turn you into a rabbit and kick you down the hall.
13. Stop counting so quickly during hide and seek, you cheating little plops.
14. The object of tag is to tag someone. If you run towards me, then turn and run away, it doesn't count for anything. Play it properly or FUS ROH DAH!
15. You don't need to listen to the Jarl if he's an Imperial bootlicking bastard. But do as daddy says.
16. Saying "By the Eight" under my roof is punishable by a knee to the face.
17. If you're ever in trouble with the guards, shoot them in the knee. That's their weakness.
18. I know she looks to be your age, but Babette plays very different kinds of games and you are not ready for them yet.
19. I've seen Shadowmere kick a dragon in the face. Don't try to antagonise him.
20. Hail Sithis.
I'll stop there, but if anyone wants, I'm happy to try and come up with more.
Colonelscout312
The Descendant of Tiber Septim.
Never really thought about it. I am careful as to what I put on my bookshelf, keeping in mind they could get to it.
Her are some habits I have had and rules I will set down.
1) In bed by dark. I will not change my mind.
2) No fighting.
3) Do your chores when asked. I will not change my mind.
4) Ask me or Mother before reading a book.
5) No more baby skeevers! I've made that mistake twice now!
6) Watch your language.
7) Beat the crud out of invading bandits cause your invincible.
8) Ignore that last rule. Stay inside and hide.
9) If you hear mama and papa making noises, go out on the porch.
Sent from my KFOT using Tapatalk 2
Her are some habits I have had and rules I will set down.
1) In bed by dark. I will not change my mind.
2) No fighting.
3) Do your chores when asked. I will not change my mind.
4) Ask me or Mother before reading a book.
5) No more baby skeevers! I've made that mistake twice now!
6) Watch your language.
7) Beat the crud out of invading bandits cause your invincible.
8) Ignore that last rule. Stay inside and hide.
9) If you hear mama and papa making noises, go out on the porch.
Sent from my KFOT using Tapatalk 2
Janus3003
Skyrim Marriage Counselor
*Housecarls, keep your clothes on in front of the children. Not to name names, but... Rayya.
*Don't talk to Brynjolf.
*If daddy comes home at 3am, don't act surprised when he tells you to go to bed.
*If you bring home a spider, it will be destroyed with extreme prejudice.
*Drink your milk. No, I don't care what the neighbors say. Drink it. It's good for you.
*If a door is closed, knock on it, and don't enter without permission. Mommy and Daddy love each other very much and need their Lover's Comfort.
***Father's Love has absolutely no relation to Lover's Comfort.
*Go wild. You are invincible. Enjoy it while you can, because you'll miss it as an adult.
*Don't talk to Brynjolf.
*If daddy comes home at 3am, don't act surprised when he tells you to go to bed.
*If you bring home a spider, it will be destroyed with extreme prejudice.
*Drink your milk. No, I don't care what the neighbors say. Drink it. It's good for you.
*If a door is closed, knock on it, and don't enter without permission. Mommy and Daddy love each other very much and need their Lover's Comfort.
***Father's Love has absolutely no relation to Lover's Comfort.
*Go wild. You are invincible. Enjoy it while you can, because you'll miss it as an adult.
