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Sweet Rolls Anonymous

Discussion in 'The Lobby' started by Ruinel, Oct 21, 2013.

  1. Ruinel

    Ruinel Defender of Derp

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    Welcome to SRA!

    Admit it, you have a room in your house full of "collected" sweet rolls. Maybe you consider them trophies? Maybe you love the idea of being the one who is going around stealing sweet rolls? Or maybe you do it whenever a guard says that famous line, in the name of spite or irony? Whatever your reason, you are obsessed....no, addicted...to sweet rolls.
    Welcome to the club.
    Here is a place to discuss the collection of sweet rolls. Do you consider it a problem you have, or do you embrace it? We're here to help either way. Show of your hoard, tell us your story, and remember how to start!

    State your name and tell us how long you've been a sweet roll addict.

    *****
    MY STORY
    Whenever I am on a Thieves Guild job, I make sure to take exactly one sweet roll to add to my stash. I use them to mark how much I have done for the Guild.
    That's how it started, anyway.
    You see, this grew into a full blown obsession. If I see a sweet roll, I have to have it. If I don't have room in my inventory, I will drop something to make room. If the room is full of people with the treat in everyone's perfect line of sight, I work harder than I would during a job. If it's impossible, I bribe the guards to look the other way when people witness my obvious theft.
    Once I had nothing to heal me but sweet rolls. I'd exhausted all other possibilities. I fell to the steel of the draugr.
    ******
    • Like Like x 3
  2. RedNeK

    RedNeK Pyro, Spirits Connoisseur, and Soulless Anarchist

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    Yo!
    My name is RedNeK, not to be confused with Redneck, and I am a sweet roll thief.
    In this game I'm already a klepto. If it's worth something it goes in my pocket. Sweet rolls are an entirely different beast however. The day after release, I was playing and a guard casually said the famous line. I then made it my mission to be the reason that Skyrim had such a problem with sweetroll theft. Thus breezehome is filled, I mean, I can't even open the front door anymore...............
  3. Ruinel

    Ruinel Defender of Derp

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    *snaps fingers like a poetry cafe type of deal because that's what we do 'round here*
    That's how we...roll. :D
    Anyway, bad puns aside, you reminded me of an important rule.
    NEVER STATE THE FAMOUS LINE.
    It may trigger some serious mental issues for some of us.
  4. Irishman

    Irishman Well-Endowed Member

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    Aw i was soooo gonna quote the line!
    I shall just wait till there is a few more members than BAM I'll send yas off to a mental asylum due to a simple yet emotionally responsive line. *evil grin*

    Btw im no sweet roll addict... unless its covered in fresh human blood with fingernail sprinkles. I just wanted to stop by and give support to you rollaholics :D hmmm wish there was a sweet roll emoticon...
  5. Aerinir

    Aerinir Telvanni Spellwright

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    I'm Indaryl. A Telvanni wizard. I reside in Tel Andryn, west of Balmora on the bitter coast of Vvardenfell. I eat sweet rolls, I don't use them as markers, toys, sex toys, trophies etc. I just eat them, so I've come to ask, why don't you all just, eat the sweet rolls instead of using them for other things?
  6. Ruinel

    Ruinel Defender of Derp

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    They should make a sweet roll emoticon! Or someone who's good with digital art should make one of those text pictures. Thank you for your concern, Irishman.

    Welcome, Indaryl! To answer your question, we do not eat our sweet rolls because we can't. I personally can't stand the thought of losing a single sweet roll from my collection. It is a sickness, and that's why we're here. To provide counsel.

    And maybe someday we will once again taste the sweetness of a sweet roll. *clutches fist in the air*
  7. Aerinir

    Aerinir Telvanni Spellwright

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    Ah. I know of a way to cute something along these lines. But be aware. The journey is very treacherous, those that usually take the trek never come back. But it CAN and WILL cure your addiction/obsession. You will need to collect a series of items before you take the journey though. Do you think you guys would want to do that?
  8. Ruinel

    Ruinel Defender of Derp

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    I would!

    Lead us, Indaryl! Lead us to the cure!
  9. Hargood

    Hargood Defender of Helpless Kittens

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    I am Hargood, Crusader of light, Champion of the Divines, and Defender of Helpless kittens. Upon my journeys I have had many run in's with that known as "Sweet Rolls". I found them deplorable!!!!!, for their sweetness was like an evil temptation that only the Daedra would dare plauge the world with for their own twisted fetishes. Such horrible Sins could be committed in the name of just one taunting smell of a sweet rolls flaky goodness! I was disgusted with the gluttonous primal feeling that these attrocities would enduce in both Man and Mer! I found it a "Holy" and "Righteous" crusade to SLAY Every Evil Sweet roll that tainted these lands!

    But Then.....

    ...later, as a Pios inspiration given to me by the heavens, I learned that perhaps there is truley a purpose for these sweet rolls. Why would the Divines let sweet rolls exist on this world if Man and Mer are never to know them? The answer became easy to me. It is because "The Divines Granted us the Holy Gift of Sweet Rolls because they love us". Yes, It is a token of love to all of us that we might bask in its sweetness and know that the Divines are truley there!

    Let us furfill our duties as Daughters and Sons and partake in Sweet Rolls so that we might know that which is both "Sweet" and "Holy'!!

    • Like Like x 3
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  10. Ruinel

    Ruinel Defender of Derp

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    That post...by Auri-El, that post was inspiring. I've never read anything quite as beautiful. *sniff* Well said, my good man! Thirty points to Gryffindor!
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  11. RedNeK

    RedNeK Pyro, Spirits Connoisseur, and Soulless Anarchist

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    I do not eat them because I can no longer open the door to breezehome to get to them as I already said. I steal too many of them!!! I can't eat all of them, and the ones I store just pile up...............
    • Funny Funny x 1
  12. Brewman

    Brewman Do I look worried?

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    I too am a sweet too collector, its better than an arrow to the knee!:D
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  13. Ruinel

    Ruinel Defender of Derp

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    Welcome all! Now to our first matter of business: The Allure of Icing
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  14. Brewman

    Brewman Do I look worried?

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    And cinnamon:)
  15. Brewman

    Brewman Do I look worried?

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    All Hail the Sweet Roll !
  16. RedNeK

    RedNeK Pyro, Spirits Connoisseur, and Soulless Anarchist

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    Honestly, the allure of icing isn't all that powerful. If anything it's an annoyance while trying to steal them as it sticks to everything, ya know? It does however make it slightly challenging and that itself is alluring. I love the challenge.
  17. PrisonerLizzie

    PrisonerLizzie Well-Known Member

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    I use sweet rolls for murder.....gooey...delicious...murder.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  18. Hargood

    Hargood Defender of Helpless Kittens

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    ...remember

    You can always Make your own!

    (if stealing and Murder gets alittle messy)
  19. Ruinel

    Ruinel Defender of Derp

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    Just out of curiosity...how does one use a sweet roll for murder?
  20. Ruinel

    Ruinel Defender of Derp

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    Pshhh. Where's the fun in that?

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