18+ ~Skyrim an unexpected journey~

[BedivereLancelot]

​

Main Characters:
Theodore
Barbra
Andell
Elolda
Lilith
Something to note before reading this fanfiction contains some spoilers for content in the game including and not limited to:
The main storyline, the dark brotherhood storyline, thieves’ guild storyline, collage of Winterhold, Dragonborn DLC, Dawnguard DLC, Daedric quests and some random dungeons in the game.

CHAPTER I​

I just finished my work and was heading down to the river banks to relax. I thought it would be a nice evening with my mother’s good cooking for supper. But, on that day just as I was leaving the Inn to go to the river I saw a woman enter town. She was the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life, I nudged my friend Andell who worked with me “hey look at her” he giggled “that’s the dragonborn’s daughter, you have no chance my old friend” I glared at him “really Andell, you suck I’m going to talk to her” he about fell down in laughter “she would use her shouts or whatever they are to freeze you solid, or burn you to a crisp, or even to make you get lunched into oblivion, so just don’t” “well I’m going to talk to her so getting shot into oblivion is a risk I’m going to have to take” I jumped over the railing we were leaning into the street. I looked at her as she drew closer to me her eyes were lavender in color, her hair reminded me of a sunrise, she wore a black cloak with some sort of mark I couldn’t see clearly, and armor made from what looked like ebony. She was flipping a diamond as if it were just a septim. When she was about to pass me, the person who had been staring at her sense she entered Riverwood she stopped and looked at me as if trying to see if I were worth her time “hello, my name is…..” “I already know your name Theodore” I was stunned “wait, how do you know my name I only just met you!” “There isn’t a single person in the Whiterun hold, I don’t know by name” she smiled at me as if we were best friends. “but, hello Theodore, my name is Barbra” we shook hands and after talking for a few minutes with the entire town watching us she asked me if I had a desire to join her on an adventure to Winderhold. “Wait, did I just her you say WINTERHOLD!” “Yes Theodore, my father says you’re good with a bow. Was he wrong?” I smiled, I kicked the rock next to us and a bow and three arrows dropped from the tree. I caught the bow and one arrow notched it and shot an apple which landed in Barbra’s hands “I think I don’t need to say” she smiled “get ready then we leave tomorrow” she turned and headed for the Inn then I spoke up for some reason “um…. You can stay at my place…. If you want” she turned around and gave me a smile “I would love to” then we walked to my house. We walked past Andell who was shock either by the fact I didn’t get shouted into oblivion or the fact I had a hidden bow in the tree that we used to get the apples for apple pie.

When we walked into my house my mother was cooking so, she didn’t notice me walk in with Barbra, and my father was smirking and whispered to us “I have to see your mothers face when she sees her” we laughed a little too loudly because my mother came in about to ask what was so funny and dropped her cooking spoon. This time it was my father’s turn to laugh “my dear you never disappoint with your reaction to are boy bringing women home” my mother had a aggravated look on her face that’s when Barbra spoke up “I’m sorry to intrude my name is Barbra Lancelot daughter of Vanessa and Bedivere Lancelot” the look on my mother’s face when she found out the girl I had brought home was the dragonborn’s daughter was priceless. After a diner that was filled with my mother questioning Barbra half the time, and listening to Barbra’s different adventures the other half. The most awkward point of the evening was the matter of where was Barbra going to sleep, I offered my room with me but my mother was a little too quick to say no, so I just said I’ll sleep in the family room and Barbra could have my bed. It was about 1:13 am on Morndas when I hear what sounded Men outside, my first thought was to grab my bow and my steel arrows then I hear the guards outside and I lowered my guard went back to sleep. Not ten minutes later Barbra came down stairs with her gear on and tossed my gear onto me she whispered to me “get up Theodore, those men were Alikir ” I got up now fully awake, put on my armor grabbed my bow and 300 of my best arrows, food and water for the trip and two roll up beds. We snuck out of the house without waking my Parents and headed for my horse which had a ten and bags to hold are items. We then rode off heading toward Winterhold.

 

[BedivereLancelot]

CHAPTER II​

The ride was fairly quiet Barbra was scanning the forest as we rode trying to find any hint of Alikir, while I was tending to the reins I was trying to think of something to say to break the silence but it was Barbra who broke it first “so, Theodore…” I turned my gaze off the road to her “Yes?” “I wanted to tell you what were heading to Winterhold for. I found a device in a hidden part of the College of Winterhold. Having a Father who is arch-mage does have its perks but the Arcanaeum didn’t have anything on the subject” I was a little speechless if the Arcanaeum of the collage of Winterhold which was rumored to have every piece of knowledge didn’t have it who did. I was going to ask but what I said was different “why did you ask me to join you?” she turned her sight to the nearby forest “…well?” it was something I needed to know. “Um….” She went silent but I still persisted “Barbra, there were plenty of other people you could’ve who are most likely better than I am, so why me?” I turned my gaze completely off the trail to look at her and I noticed she had an angry look on her face which was something I didn’t expect “I wanted someone of my age and I hear you were a good archer. Do I really need a reason?” I shrugged “I don’t know but I am glad you asked me” I didn’t want her mad she might ‘shout’ at me. I think she caught on though because she burst into laughter “what’s so funny!” “Oh Theodore are you really scared of the Thu’um?” I gulped “oh, Theodore I won’t hurt you” I sighed in relief but it was too soon “…unless you make me mad” I sucked back in my sigh which made her laugh more, this time I laughed along. Later in the evening we stopped at one of the hot springs that are scattered around skyrim. “Go behind that rock and shut your eyes!” she yelled at me I was confused for a second then I knew what she was going to do and I ran off. When she said it was ok to come back I stood up at was dumfounded, she was wearing almost nothing at all. She gave me a sly look “oh, what’s this? Have you never seen a women’s body?” I guess I blushed because Barbra giggled “well, aren’t you going to get changed and get in or what?” I snapped back to reality “uh… yeah… I guess.” I took of my leather armor and rested it next to Barbra’s Ebony armor then I took of my shirt and headed behind a rock and got into my ‘shorts’. I enter the hot spring and sat down across from Barbra and ate a sweet roll. “ I sure am going to miss these springs when we get closer to Winterhold” I sat there eating my sweet roll thinking about what my Mother would think about me leaving without saying goodbye while Barbra read a book. I left the spring after about 35 minutes, got changed back into my clothing not bothering putting my armor on it was clear we were going to have to spend the night here, so I set up the tent got the bed rolls out and dosed off. Only to be awakened by the sound of water splashing. I got up half asleep glanced at Barbra who was now wearing just a simple top and skirt “what was that sound” she looked up from her book “what sound?” I shrugged “I don’t know that’s why I’m asking.” I looked around didn’t see anything, then I looked back at Barbra and not 5 feet behind Barbra was a giant. “Barbra Run!” she turned saw the giant about to swing his club but she just smiled “oh how quaint.” I ran to get my bow “Theodore there is really no need” out of nowhere a bow appeared in her hands “this will take no more than 20 seconds” I heard her speak a phrase in a language I didn’t know and turn translucent at the exact moment the giants club hit her. I thought she was dead for a second but when the dust cleared there she was standing as alive as ever bow drawn arrow ready to be fired smirking “good night” WOOSH! The almost ghost like arrow hit the giant right in the knee and it got launched back into the wilds. “What! Was! That!” I yelled now feeling a little dizzy from the sudden jolt of energy. Barbra smiled as the bow disappeared “go lay down you are looking a bit out of it.” I felt out of it so I went back into the tent and fell asleep. About three days later we had made camp in the out crop a little was off the road I was asleep and was awoken at the scream of a woman. “What the…” I turned my gaze to the bed roll next to mine there lay Barbra sleeping like a baby. I proceeded to sneak out of the tent grab my bow and quiver of arrows then ran toward the sound of the scream. The sun was sun about to rise over the Throat of the world when I got up. Soon I found the source of the scream way a young woman in robes clearly exhausted getting surrounded by bandits with evil looks in their eyes “stay away!” she yelled at the Bandits “now lass no one is coming to help you…” one of the bandits said in between laughs. “No, Stendarr help me!” the Bandits laughed again this time in a way as if proving his ‘power’ but he was cut short when I released my bow string letting an arrow fly hitting one of the bandits in the neck. The leader of the bandits turned around furiously looking for me “whose there!!” I decided to scare the bandits “ I AM THE ESSENCE OF HIRCINE!!!!!” the bandits got real silent which made it clear my ploy was working “DO YOU WISH TO BE HUNTED LIKE PREY BY MY HUNTERS?” one of the bandits spoke up “N..No your lordship” I was getting a little cocky “THEN YOU BEST BE LEAVING MY PRIZE ALONE!!!!” and not five seconds later the bandits went running off like scared deer. I got up from my hiding spot to walk over to the young woman who was leaning against the rock wall crying “why are you crying?” I said in a calm tone hoping to calm her down. “I *sniff* am nothing but a *sniff* a, a PRIZE! FOR! HIRCINE!” she got out before bursting into more tears. I sat down next to her “listen, that wasn’t Hircine.” “What?” I leaned into her ear and whispered “it was me” she backed away from me hitting her head on the rock wall “ouch!” “Come on” I offered her my hand “let’s get you some food” I examined her clothing which was torn in several places and covered in dirt and mud “and a change of clothes” she was reluctant at first but accepted my offer in the end. When we got back to camp Barbra was up and cooking what appeared to be a stew. Before Barbra noticed the young woman who was with me she asked “where were you this morning?” my response was little out of line “just saving a damsel in distress” saying that made Barbra look up from her pot of stew “what…” noticing the woman “Oh! Who’s this?” the woman spoke up “I’m Elolda… I just got to skyrim from Cyrodiil” Elolda looked at me trying to look powerful “I am not a damsel in distress” I backed away, Barbra just laughed “well your welcome to stay here” noticing Elolda’s clothing “I have spare clothing you can try on” the two girls ran off into the tent leaving me to tend with the stew. After what seemed like hours the two girls came out of the tent. I had the pot of stew being kept warm and I was eating a bowl. Elolda was wearing one of my outfits and Barbra’s cloak on her back. I was a little stunned at how well the outfit looked on her “Theodore…” I got out of my trace “uh… yes?” “Thanks for keeping the stew warm. Horker tastes horrible cold” I noticed the silent stop staring signal she gave me. Once Elolda and Barbra both got their meals and were eating, I decided it was ok to start practicing my bow again. We have been at this camp for a few days now because our horse got hurt so I set up targets to practice my archery on.

 

[ultimatedovahkiin]

This is pretty good, just a few small things. One, put a few spaces in between each paragraph, it makes the story easier to read. Two, the story needs some more descriptive details added to it, like just describe the area at least a little bit. Three, things are moving a little bit fast try and slow it down some. Four, you should add some more detail to the fight scenes, I know the only ones right now have been bandits and a giant, but the characters make it seem like all of this is so easy. Fighting off a giant usually takes a bit of time, the bandits should like seem more scary and doubt that he was Hircine at first but then Theodore does something that makes them believe him. Other than that, this is a really good story. I can see it already has a lot of promise to it, just add these few little things to your writing and it'll improve 100%.

 

[BedivereLancelot]

thanks for the feedback Ill use it when writing the rest of my story
Ill edit my already posted so the flow a little better to

 

[ultimatedovahkiin]

thanks for the feedback Ill use it when writing the rest of my story
Ill edit my already posted so the flow a little better to

You don't need to edit the currently posted ones, but go ahead if you want to. I will be reading this story, it is pretty good and you seem to know how it will go, so I shall watch the thread for each installment. And one more big thing, make sure you take your time on the story, not saying you aren't it seems like you are, but I just wanna make sure. You can't always get the story written in one sitting, it is rather hard. Trust me, I did that for my first two and a half stories. Then, halfway through the third I started using a word processor and I'm glad I did, now I don't have to force myself to keep writing no matter how tried I get.

 

[BedivereLancelot]

I don't write them in one sitting 3/4 of the time im thinking and planning the story in its entirety