Questions No-one Bothers to Ask

[Bad-People]

This is the thread where YOU get to ask the questions that someone really should.

I’ll start off. “Who… lit all these braziers in the cave full of giant spiders?”

And “Why was the first Stormcloak prisoner so eager to die? (May have turned out better for him if he’d let the priestess do the prayer) I mean, even if you don’t care how soon you loose your head, there’s a line here man, give the next guy an extra minute or two… selfish…”

 

[KITTEH]

Why do the towns people care so much about their chickens?

 

[dunklunk]

Good one.

If a dragon is gonna go to the trouble of chomping on me, can he/she at least show some respect and swallow me, after chewing properly of course? Spitting me out so puts me off. At least sever a leg or summat.

And why do mudcrabs always have to get in my face? I don't even need a weapon! My boot is my weapon!

 

[KITTEH]

Or when the thieves got the golden claw why did they run into an ancient Nordic burial ground!

Why did Alduin choose to save you?

 

[Uther Pundragon]

Why can't you use your flame spell at the beginning to burn the rope binding your hands and then attempt to escape? I asked this somewhere else but it still applies!

 

[bulbaquil]

- What did Morthal do to make dragons attack it so much?

- Given that by the time the Dragonborn makes it to Solitude for the first time, it's probably been many months since Ulfric killed Torygg - what was Roggvir doing in the intervening time? Hiding? Fleeing and just now brought back? Still guarding the gate?

- If the Silver-Bloods/Black-Briars have so much influence over Markarth/Riften, why does the jarl at the start of the game support the side in the civil war that these powerful families don't?

- What actually did bring Belethor to Skyrim?

- How exactly does taking over Fort Sungard, which is absolutely nowhere near Markarth which is ostensibly a heavily fortified city, result in Markarth changing hands in the civil war? I can get it more if you're with the Stormcloaks, because you have the Silver-Bloods and their mercenaries backing you up, but if you're with the Imperials regaining the Reach after Season Unending, the Silver-Bloods should also be against you.

- What is Sapphire's real name?

- Why won't the guards help me track down the person who stole my sweet roll?

Why can't you use your flame spell at the beginning to burn the rope binding your hands and then attempt to escape? I asked this somewhere else but it still applies!

My guess is because your hands have to be in that particular position relative to your body in order to cast the spell.

 

[dunklunk]

Why is that homeless woman in Windhelm (her name escapes me, sorry) still bleedin' homeless?! I give her a septim every time I'm in the city and what she charges for pickpocket training?! And why is she still wearing those rags after all the coin I've given her?!

Why can't I ride a giant like those hobbits rode huge trees in LOTR?! Left trigger would be used to step on enemies with his left foot, right trigger controls the right foot. Simple!

 

[sahqonsah]

Why do so many guards get arrows in the knee?

 

[Oren74]

Why did Alduin choose to save you?

This one I have the answer to...Alduin was saving Ulfric...and our character just got lucky. Alduin wanted to save Ulfric so the civil war would rage on making Skyrim easier to destroy.

Nice irony there...

 

[Kairee Blackblade]

How come I find fresh food and mead in crypts that have supposedly been sealed for centuries?

Why do random animals (skeevers, wolves, etc) have gold and jewels in their corpses? Are those just the non-digestible remnants of their last meals?

If I've saved the freakin' world why can't I get any respect? Why do people persist in taunting me about my visits to the Cloud District or my stolen sweet roll?

 

[Kairee Blackblade]

Why isn't there an option to tell Aela to turn into a werewolf when she's my follower? She didn't want to be cured, said that she was happy to be a member of the furry contigent, yet she never changes form. It's her fault I've got such hairy legs, so the least she could do would be to indulge me with an occasional pack-sister hunt! I'd like to have some sharp-toothed backup when I slaughter innocent passers-by...

Since there is an option to destroy the Dark Brotherhood, why isn't there a corresponding storyline for the Thieves Guild? Not that I don't enjoy being the Guild Master, but it might be fun to create a crusader-type character that wants to rid the world of thieves and cutthroats.

Getting back to my earlier posting about food in crypts, how come there is sometimes new armor in them? For example, finding a stormcloak cuirass or an imperial helmet. Either the soldiers have been poking around in ancient burial mounds, or the zombie-like draugr have been out looking for someone to eat...

 

[dunklunk]

Why isn't there an option to tell Aela to turn into a werewolf when she's my follower? She didn't want to be cured, said that she was happy to be a member of the furry contigent, yet she never changes form. It's her fault I've got such hairy legs, so the least she could do would be to indulge me with an occasional pack-sister hunt! I'd like to have some sharp-toothed backup when I slaughter innocent passers-by...

Isn't the only time we ever see her in wolf form is right before the player becomes a wolf? Y'know, when we're in that secret side cave or whatever. Right, she won't turn into her wolf form in battle, but she's more than happy to push you out into the open so EVERYONE sees you now! Thanks, bud. Remind me to leave you home next time.

 

[Kairee Blackblade]

Isn't the only time we ever see her in wolf form is right before the player becomes a wolf? Y'know, when we're in that secret side cave or whatever. Right, she won't turn into her wolf form in battle, but she's more than happy to push you out into the open so EVERYONE sees you now! Thanks, bud. Remind me to leave you home next time.

Yep. It royally sucks. Not only will she not get furry with me, but the bitch is homicidal! Last damn time I take her draugr-hunting with me...

 

[Kairee Blackblade]

To the OP: you have created a monster. Now that I've asked a few burning questions, more keeping popping into my head!

• What is up with Kleppr and Frabbi (the innkeepers in Markarth)? They obviously hate each others' guts, so why are they a couple? Was it an arranged marriage, or a night of drunken revelry that led to a hastily-arranged ceremony nine months later?
• Why aren't any of the Thieves Guild members available as followers? I worked my ass off to rebuild their failing guild, so they should be willing to help me out during my dragon-slaying quests.
• Why isn't there an option to side with Mercer Frey instead of Karliah? My current character is evil and would have enjoyed the chance to hunt down and murder the Dunmer for her beloved Guildmaster (especially if doing so opened up the option to get smoochies from Mercer!).
• How come invisibility potions quit working when you interact with someone or something? I think you should be able to remain unseen until the potion's time limit is up, no matter what you are doing.

 

[Dovahlink69]

At Helgen,why didn't the Imperials execute Ulfric first? Heck,why didn't they just kill him straight away when they managed to ambush him?

 

[Kairee Blackblade]

And why can't I kill children?! I can beat the bejeezus out of dragons, but a pint-sized brat survives every spell, Thu'um and Daedric artifact I throw at them...why???

 

[dunklunk]

And why can't I kill children?! I can beat the bejeezus out of dragons, but a pint-sized brat survives every spell, Thu'um and Daedric artifact I throw at them...why???

It is not our place to ask, Why?, Young Blackblade. Oh wait, yes it is; that's the whole idea behind this thread. Carry on.

Truth be told, I've tried myself at perishing those lil' monsters, but to no avail. And not all of 'em. Just, well, you know the ones. . . .

 

[Neriad13]

Why did Alduin choose to save you?

I think Alduin actually came to kill you. That's what I've heard elsewhere, though I haven't seen any evidence of it myself. He came to kill you, but he's a bit of an idiot, so he missed and ended up saving your life.

Or, the explanation that I choose to believe - Alduin materialized on the Throat of the World at just that moment and was still in a rage about Paarthunax's betrayal and his own defeat by measly humans centuries ago, but minutes ago in his sense of time. In his wrath, he descended upon the first settlement he saw and set about subjugating its mortal occupants, thus beginning his new reign of terror.

 

[Kairee Blackblade]

It is not our place to ask, Why?, Young Blackblade. Oh wait, yes it is; that's the whole idea behind this thread. Carry on.

Truth be told, I've tried myself at perishing those lil' monsters, but to no avail. And not all of 'em. Just, well, you know the ones. . . .

Everytime I run into that smart-mouthed little plops Nelkir and he says the boot-licking line, I Fus Ro Dah his ass. Then I end up having to reload to a point before I entered the Keep to stay out of jail...but it is soooo worth it to watch him get flung across the room!

 

[bulbaquil]

Truth be told, I've tried myself at perishing those lil' monsters, but to no avail. And not all of 'em. Just, well, you know the ones. . . .

I think this is officially the first time I've heard "perish" used as a transitive verb....