Looking for Feedback! :)

[ElderScrolls_Forevah:)]

I'm new to RP, so after 20-25 minutes of writing stuff down, This came out of my brain .

Name: Chyrean Vulcurin. Age:
Race: Imperial.
Factions:Winterhold College, Dark Brotherhood.
Skills: Conjuration, illusion,Alteration (With a little Destruction) Magics,Along with Sneak, Archery, And crafting skills. Such as; Blacksmithing, Enchanting, Alchemy.
Looks: Black Combed hair, Let down long. A face, like mine in my avatar picture . And she is about 5'9. And quite skinny.
Personality: She is quite chy, But nice. She appreciates the honor of being the Dragonborn, But hates the pressure.
History: She used to live happily with her sister Asheera in the Imperial City, in Cyrodill. But one day, as she woke up she couldn't find her sister anywher but a note saying:
'' Hello Old friend, I have Asheera, For you to ever see her again, you're gonna have to come to the Pig And Whistle Tavern in Solitude Skyrim.
Sincerely,
Fate.''

 

[solace84]

Hi and welcome. This post should be in the character cards thread, but since I'm here I'll give you some feedback anyway.

Most RPs here that I've seen you won't really need to put a (faction) in, as that info. would relate to whatever RP you decide to join in on.
As for the personality, most RPs won't allow 'dragonborns' in them because that would give you too much power. RPs generally like all characters within them to have weaknesses and flaws, like my RP character Dalious has absolutely no knowledge in magics but is skilled with swords. But, on the other hand, if you CREATE your own RP you can do whatever the hell you want and be the dragonborn, but whether or not oothers would join depends on how they feel about your RP.
Your history could use a little bit more detail, but as for the note it seems you already have a direction you want your character to take...which would mean you have a story you can pursue. If you join someone else's RP keep in mind that they may have a diff. story in mind, but you can still work it out with imagination.
Other than that good job, stay classy, and nice hat. Cheers!

 

[NikolaTesla]

As solace said, your history should be a little more well defined and the information about her allegiances and stuff along those lines should be a little more loose, but other wise a very interesting character. Oh yeah, and the dragon-born thing should definitely be removed, as it does give your character a lot of power, over just about everyone you could hypothetically meet in an RP. But that's just my opinion, stay true to what you want to get out of the character.

Oh and I believe you stole my blue LOL

 

[UnLonged]

Hi.

Aside from the character history needing elaboration, I believe the skills of your character needs some toning down. Knowledge in 3-4 schools in magic is okay, I guess, but including another offensive skill like archery is a tad too much, plus I think it will be quite hard to juggle that much when RPing. Since most of the characters I have seen have 2-3 major skills, your character would become overpowered in comparison to them.

For example. Your character is in a group of mercenaries. Your group decided to raid a draugr tomb. Combat would be confusing since your character knows a lot. You could be throwing firebolts around one moment, next, you could be pelting the undead with arrows, and summoning minions another moment; it may just be me, but if I read something like that, I will be incredibly confused. Your character also crafts and enchants her own gear. It will help if you put a level of mastery towards those skills

One way to know, and perhaps to put a boundary on, which skills you would want your character to have is to settle on what class he/she would be in (e.g. assassin, warrior, mage, etc.).

DISCLAIMER:​

I'm not very reputable in this forums regarding role playing, so it's up to you if you want to take my advice regarding this character.​

​

Good luck in your future endeavors.​