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I moved this out of the corrupted souls thread since you are not a member. I'm not sure if you're trying to join an RP or making a fan fic or...?
Please refrain from posting in RP threads labeled "private" unless you are a member. I'd be happy to move this post gain if you can let me know where it's intended to be.
Wtf... It's good writing but... You're not even in the RP. And you got Julanza all wrong, he's not a warrior, but a shock Mage, stormscale to be correct.