Job Rants

[Kohlar the Unkilled]

By all means, rant away. Here's mine for tonight.

I recently acquired a job at a very large, well known freight shipping company. I won't name the company, but it's mildly ironic that my boss resembles Tom Hanks. Now, I have a fairly high heat tolerance, but tonight it nearly drove me insane. The temp was 101 outside with about 90% humidity. Within the non-airconditioned edifice of concrete and steel one can only speculate at the degree of heat. When I was finally done, at midnight, the appearance of my clothes would lead one to believe that I'd submerged myself within a pool, (or a pond, or perhaps a lake), fully clothed. Three people that I know of passed out during the shift. One good thing is the extreme heat made the ale that much more refreshing upon my arriving home.



My first day there, I had an interesting and highly amusing conversation with another worker. In this dialog, I'll refer to him as Napoleon. I climb into the trailer and start to unload packages. Napoleon says,
"Welcome to Hell," to which I laughed and replied,
"Thanks, it's my first day!"
"Oh, then really welcome to hell." After a time he said, "So what do you do for fun?"
"Well, for one I have my PS3."
"Oh GOD... So you don't play PC?"
"No... you sound like my brother, Mr. PC master race..."
"I AM the PC master! My friends who also work here, and I, once we get enough money, we're going to build the first fully immersive VR. We'll be billionaires," said Napoleon. To which I replied,
"Oh, (sarcasm), that sounds amazing. How is the interface going to work?" and Napoleon said,
"Well it's... wait, do watch anime??"
"No, no anime-"
"Oh pssht..! Then you couldn't possibly understand what I'm talking about." Whoa.

Later, we got on the topic of Skyrim. He said, "At least you play Skyrim. That's cool. What level are you?"
"Depends on the character," I said. "I have several, but my highest is 82."
"125," said Napoleon.
"Wow, how long did that take you to grind out?"
"Oh, about five seconds."

At that point I'd heard enough. This guy was a complete parody, and believe me, I couldn't make this stuff up! I don't think he was amused at my constant laughing at nearly everything he said. I haven't worked with him since, but I hope to. It'd help the night go by quicker listening to such conceited, entertaining nonsense.

 

[Wauten Dayhil]

"Am teh best coz I cn cheet!"

 

[Cordelia]

I hope you work with him again, as well. We could turn him into comedy gold.

 

[Mercutio]

I hope you work with him again, as well. We could turn him into comedy gold.

He already IS comedy gold

 

[Kohlar the Unkilled]

He's actually more like this guy:

Than this guy.

 

[Mithro'I]

but... PC Master race....

we have mods. and many buttons to press. aaand cookies.

jk

cheers

 

[Lady Redpool the Unlifer]

Funny, sounds like you work for FedEx...........but I don't see you at work

 

[Reaper87]

Than this guy.

Remember Kohlar, vote for Pedro!

 

[dunklunk]

Funny, sounds like you work for FedEx...........but I don't see you at work

What can Brown do for you?

 

[sticky runes]

Recently I served a customer who got haughty towards me because I asked her for ID when she asked for cigarettes. for the third time visiting the shop, according to her. honestly, I did not recognize this girl, she was just another face to me. She was pretty, yes, and I'm sure a lot of other guys remember meeting her, but as a man who likes men, a pretty face and firm pair of tits on a girl is not going have a big impact on me.

I get lots of young ladies coming into the shop asking for cigarettes, and if they look under the legal age, i will ID them - it's my f#cking job, and if I don't do it properly I can get sacked. And in this age of selfies and fashion and gossip magazines explaining who the most desirable stick figure celebrity is at the moment, there are tons of young teenage girls piling on enough makeup and hoisting their tits up to look 12 years older than they actually are. so I'm not just protecting my own skin, I'm protecting these poor young girls who have only just given up playing with Barbie dolls to dress themselves up like 25 year old hookers.

Sometimes when you go into a shop and get served by the same member of staff, they may recognize you and know your regular order off by heart. and sometimes they won't. If they don't remember serving you, it's not an attack against you. So there is no need to get offended by it. The shop assistant is not your friend and you are not his. Forgetting a customer's face is not a criminal offense. Supplying alcohol and tobacco products to an underage minor is a criminal offense. and so nagging at someone for being vigilant and simply doing their job is not becoming.

I've had my hair cut by barbers who don't remember serving me before, and I don't get offended and start nagging them. I politely play along and just tell him the same story I told last three times he cut my hair. He doesn't remember me out of all the many other customers he's served, big deal. As long as I get the hair cut i want, I'm satisfied.

So, Ms. Twatty Knickers. Next time you come into the shop, if I don't ask you for ID, it will be because i remember you - not for being a pleasant young lady with a nice smile, but for being that stroppy little madam who got into a huff at me for not recognizing her out of the hundreds of other people who buy fags from me. First world problems, eh - having your face forgotten by a shop assistant.

 

[Cordelia]

I think you should make a point of checking her ID every time, anyway.

"Oh, no. I do remember you. ID please. It's the law, and it's my job. Do you want me to get sacked? Because I will." Then whisper "They're watching" from behind your hand, and make a really obvious attempt at subtle glances toward the camera, jabbing your finger in its direction, just in case she missed it, because of the subtlety.

Then you're doing your job and giving her the finger. ^__^