Cooking with Cordelia

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Cordelia

Global Moderator
Staff member
WARNING: Most accidents that happen will happen in the kitchen. PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHEN COOKING ANYTHING. If necessary, make sure you have proper supervision and permission before attempting any recipes, whether you find them here, or anywhere else.

PLEASE COOK RESPONSIBLY.

Today's recipe was simple; just some fried Honey Nut Cheerios with some butter, cinnamon, honey, and sea salt.

Today's helper was Gidian the Diva. Without Gidian, this recipe could have ended in disaster, but with his fine stirring skills, the dish -- and the day -- was saved.

Read on for the recipe and adventure:

  1. Cordelia:
    C'mon, Gid. We're going to go cook me up some cereal. You're coming with me.
  2. Gidian the Diva:
    :eek:
  3. Gidian the Diva
    dons his armor and salutes o7
  4. Cordelia:
    That's right.
  5. Cordelia:
    You are well prepared for this perilous journey.
  6. Cordelia:
    Have you ever cooked cereal, soldier?
  7. Gidian the Diva:
    I'm prepared for anything, sir! I've cooked cereal many times before sir! o7
  8. Cordelia:
    Excellent. I'm glad to be heading into the kitchen with an experienced soldier by my side.
  9. Cordelia:
    Tonight, we're priming the pan with butter and ... raw honey.
  10. Gidian the Diva:
    :eek:
  11. Gidian the Diva:
    I've never seen a pan primed with raw butter and honey before, sir! :eek:
  12. Cordelia:
    It's going to get weird, soldier. I need you to hold it together!
  13. Cordelia:
    Once the honey has melted into the butter ... I need you to brace yourself. Because we're adding ... sea salt.
  14. Gidian the Diva:
    :eek:
  15. Gidian the Diva:
    I will try to keep it together! Sir!
  16. Cordelia:
    You see that you do! Because we're adding the cinnamon now, just before it starts boiling!
  17. Gidian the Diva:
    Cinnamon is dangerous, sir! It killed my uncle, sir! :eek:
  18. Cordelia:
    Cinnamon is an unholy terror, it's true. That's why we have to time it just right, or we're not walking away from this!
  19. Cordelia:
    But here comes the easy part now ... nice and easy, we add the Cheerios. The Honey Nut Cheerios.
  20. Gidian the Diva:
    Understood, sir!
  21. Gidian the Diva
    wipes sweat from brow
  22. Cordelia:
    Now we mix. Mix and cook. Cook and mix. You stir that gently, soldier. You don't want to upset the cinnamon.
  23. Gidian the Diva:
    Yes sir! *furrows brow in deep concentration*
  24. Cordelia:
    It's too much heat, soldier! We're losing them!
  25. Gidian the Diva
    wipes sweat from brow, turns down heat, but the meter breaks
  26. Gidian the Diva:
    We have a problem, sir! :eek:
  27. Cordelia:
    Take it off the heat, soldier, but for the love of god, don't you stop stirring!
  28. Gidian the Diva
    concentration intensifies
  29. Gidian the Diva
    begins having flashbacks
  30. Cordelia:
    That's good, soldier. That's good. Now we're going to very carefully guide all those Cheerios into a bowl.
  31. Gidian the Diva
    vision starts blurring
  32. Cordelia:
    Careful, now! Don't spill them!
  33. Cordelia:
    That's it. Now, give them a little stir. That honey is going to want to lock them all together, but we're not making Cheerio brittle here!
  34. Gidian the Diva:
    Yes sir! *entire face curls in intense concentration like a Japanese warrior tensing up for combat
  35. Gidian the Diva
    vein appears on forehead as face turns red
  36. Cordelia:
    That's it. Slaps the soldier on the shoulder once the job is done. You did it. You saved the day.
  37. Gidian the Diva
    salutes o7
  38. Cordelia:
    I'm recommending you for a Candied Heart, soldier. That was some damn fine stirring you did back there.
  39. Gidian the Diva:
    Just doing my job, sir!
  40. Gidian the Diva:
    Thank you sir!


    If you would like to reproduce these results, then use a large pan on medium heat.

    Add the butter and melt it fully.

    You can add the honey at any time, but in the butter while it's melting, or just after is probably best.

    Add the cinnamon and mix it fully into the butter.

    Add some sea salt.

    Pour in the cereal you want to use. I, of course, recommend Honey Nut Cheerios. Cheerios was the first cereal I learned to fry up, and I prefer my snacks sweet, so Honey Nut was a good choice for me. You may find that the addition of honey to an already sweet cereal is too much, so you might forsake the honey all together, or choose a less sweet cereal. Either way, it is the key ingredient to any good fried cereal snack.

    Stir to fully coat the cereal in the honey-butter mixture.

    Stir occasionally, now, to give the cereal time to fry up a little at the bottom of the pan. Depending on how much cereal you've piled in there, you may have just enough to coat the bottom (in which case, stir more frequently to avoid burning), or you may have enough that you have to "flip" the cereal, as it were, to mix the top sections down to the bottom.

    Keep an eye on it, though, as you will get closer to burning them the longer you cook everything.

    When you're done, empty the cereal from the pan into a sturdy microwave safe bowl. This is to ensure the vessel is sturdy enough to take the first bit of heat off the incoming snack without damaging the dish, or your food.

    Give it another few stirs to discourage clumping.

    Let it sit to cool a minute, and stir it again to break up the clumping that happened anyway.

    Finally, sit down and enjoy the snacks of your labor.
 

Archer Drake

Parkour Enthusiast
This made my day, regardless of the fact that it also contains a recipe that I will try in the near future. Thank you for posting it.

However, since you mentioned soldiers, and proceeded to call Gidian by that title, I would like to point out that superior officers prefer to be called by their rank rather than "sir" or "ma'am." So Gidian should have been responding with a "Yes, Capitan!" or whatever rank you would've been holding, Cordelia.

It's strange, but that is what I have been told after making that exact mistake.

I do realize that this is all in fun, and it's lighthearted, I just wanted to point it out, for future reference. I did not intend to be rude, nor did I intend to scold or insult; so please excuse me if I appeared as such.
 

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