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A couple of questions

Discussion in 'Author's Roundtable' started by SavageJP, Jun 21, 2013.

  1. SavageJP

    SavageJP Can't think of anything clever.

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    Alright, since you guys understand basically what my prologue entails, does this sound good for a summary. (Like a 'back cover of the book' kinda thing to place before the prologue)

    "Torvald, a Nord huntsman, and ex-Legion soldier, left fatherless in the world, roams the tundra of Skyrim hunting for his food and struggling to make enough Septims to keep a roof over his head. Until one day, his friend, Bjorn comes to him with a problem. He's gotten in trouble with the widespread, lethal, Skooma-dealing Khajiit Caravans, and Torvald decides to help him out of his predicament. He soon realizes how lucrative the trade of Skooma is, and decides to go into business with his friend. After five years of building it from the ground up, Torvald has lead the Blackblood Marauders to become one of the most notorious Skooma dealing organizations in all of Tamriel; Until one day, an Imperial Legion officer makes it a personal vendetta to take down Torvald and the Marauders and puts him, his way of life, and his new family in danger."

    I'm not sure if it's too repetitive or if it leads too far into the plot for a summary, but lemme know what you guys think. If that sounds good and would entice a potential reader, if I should give less of a summary, or what. :D

    FYI: The prologue takes place five years before the rest of the novel, so I'm not sure if I should go as far in as I did in the summary, or if it just makes the prologue useless to read.
     
  2. The OP3RaT0R

    The OP3RaT0R Call me Op. Or Smooth.

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    The only changes I would make are stylistic.

    "Torvald, a Nord huntsman and ex-Legion soldier who was left fatherless in the world, roams the tundra of Skyrim hunting for his food and struggling to make enough Septims to keep a roof over his head. Until one day, his friend Bjorn comes to him with a problem. He's gotten in trouble with the widespread and lethal Skooma-dealing Khajiit Caravans. Torvald decides to help him out of his predicament, and in doing so he soon realizes how lucrative the trade of Skooma is. He decides to go into business with his friend, and after five years of building it from the ground up, Torvald has lead the Blackblood Marauders to become one of the most notorious Skooma dealing organizations in all of Tamriel; but it puts him, his way of life, and his new family in danger when an Imperial Legion officer makes it a personal vendetta to take down Torvald and the Marauders."

    I think the basics regarding the plot don't give too much away; we don't know any details about the Legionnaire or why he wants to take down the Marauders, or anything really important to the plot other than the basic premise of the story.
     
  3. Delusional

    Delusional Connoisseur of Hallucinations

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    Yes, only stylistic changes at that point. Operator did a good job editing it, but I would personally change "ex-Legion soldier" to "ex-Imperial Legionnaire".

    For the prologue, I would honestly only include the part where Torvald agrees to help Bjorn and that leads into the Blackblood Marauders. It sets up the background, and you can start off the first chapter with the introduction of this Legion officer who sets out to destroy the band of pirates. Don't get too ahead of yourself in the prologue, in your case, its only purpose is to provide a background of the formation of the group that will serve as the antagonist(s) for the novel.
     
  4. SavageJP

    SavageJP Can't think of anything clever.

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    Alrighty, I'm finally caught up editing in my first few chapters to where I'm actually writing new stuff everyday. :D

    Another question about language, and I'm not sure if it's already in a thread somewhere, but.

    What curse words should be used in a Skyrim fan fiction in your opinions?
    Like, dammit and plops I can think of being acceptable, but as much as I see fitting, I can't put the F bomb in there because it just doesn't seem relevant to the realm.
    Also, what are some good, Skyrim-fitting curse words to replace those things. Other than using things like, "oblivion" instead of hell and whatnot.
     
  5. Delusional

    Delusional Connoisseur of Hallucinations

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    I agree with you there on plops and damnit, but i also think that fl*ff has its place in writing - if used correctly and in the right places. I believe that all curse words have a place in writing, even in a time period like Skyrim, if you use them properly and not throw them around carelessly.

    Well, for one, instead of using 'god' (singular), use 'gods' (plural), because it follows more closely to the game and its established polytheistic religions. Alternatively, you could simply use one of the Divine's names. e.g. "I swear to Talos, if you don't lower the sword now...", or "By Akatosh, it can't be...". Oblivion is a good substitute for hell, as there is not really a 'hell' in TES, there is only Oblivion.
     
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  6. The OP3RaT0R

    The OP3RaT0R Call me Op. Or Smooth.

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    I concur with Delusional, except I would caution against using Oblivion too much. Oblivion is the equivalent of hell, and occasionally hell is acceptable. I've seen people write "What the Oblivion?" and it doesn't really work well.
     
  7. Delusional

    Delusional Connoisseur of Hallucinations

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    Instead of writing "What the Oblivion", which would be "what the hell", you could say alternatively "What in Oblivion", which would be "what in hell". Makes more sense that way, and both phrases can be used to mean the same thing.
     
  8. SavageJP

    SavageJP Can't think of anything clever.

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    Indeed, I've used the "What in Oblivion" before. Along with comments like, by the gods, or by the nine.
    I was just trying to keep the story somewhat clean, but with the nature of the story and the characters in it, I feel like it's unavoidable, and sometimes, the F word just fits really well and I just couldn't come up with some Skyrim-related curse word to replace it.
     
  9. imaginepageant

    imaginepageant Slytherin Alumni

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    I think the f-bomb is absolutely acceptable; just ask George R. R. Martin! However, I don't know if they'd use the word in all the same ways we do today. I can't see anyone in a medieval fantasy setting saying "F--k you" or "Get out of my f--king house," or similar. I think the f-bomb would be used mainly as a euphemism for sex.

    In the same vein, I can't see them exclaiming "Oh, s--t" when they're shocked or upset. I like to use "Ysmir's beard" instead. There are a few variations of this; Delphine shouts "Lorkhan's eyes" at one point, and I seem to remember someone using Shor's name in a curse. There's also the standard "By the gods" instead of "Oh my god."
     
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  10. SavageJP

    SavageJP Can't think of anything clever.

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    Hm. I like the Ysmir's beard one, I might use that somewhere in the storyline. But that's how I kinda felt about the F word, it just seems out of context, but I wanted to use it in the sense of "don't fl*ff with us", but I'm still unsure how it would sound in the context of skyrim.

    "Aye yo b*tch, fetch me a mead"
     
  11. Delusional

    Delusional Connoisseur of Hallucinations

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    Wench is the medieval word for bitch. "Ey, wench, fetch me a mead." Tavern wenches, as they are commonly called.
     
  12. SavageJP

    SavageJP Can't think of anything clever.

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    Ohh I know, it just gave me a mental image of an overweight dragonborn sitting on a recliner, yelling at Aela.

    Then her responding by shooting him with an arrow.
    In the knee.:Dragonborn:
     
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  13. imaginepageant

    imaginepageant Slytherin Alumni

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    Ulfric does call Elenwen a bitch in-game, so that word wouldn't be completely out of place. But yeah, I would personally prefer using wench.

    Also, don't forget milk-drinker, a Nord's favorite insult!
     
  14. SavageJP

    SavageJP Can't think of anything clever.

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    Ahh, milk drinker. Thanks imagine, I forgot about that one!

    I'm really considering posting my story soon, I just want to get maybe one more chapter ahead, and maybeeee have someone read my current chapters for edits before I post. But idk, I don't want someone having to read every little chapter haha, I plan on it being a somewhat long story. (16 word document pages so far, starting Ch 3)
     
  15. Delusional

    Delusional Connoisseur of Hallucinations

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    Do you have your chapters separated into their own word documents? If not, I would recommend doing so.
     
  16. SavageJP

    SavageJP Can't think of anything clever.

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    Hm, no I don't. Why's that?
     
  17. imaginepageant

    imaginepageant Slytherin Alumni

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    I would actually caution against separating chapters into separate documents. It may seem more organized that way, but in my experience it creates more problems than it solves. Any time you need to refer to anything in a previous chapter, you'll have to open a separate document. Running searches of your entire work gets very tedious, since you'll have to open every single individual document to do it. And editing across multiple documents is a disaster.

    I recommend a writing program like Scrivener. It allows you to keep each scene or chapter in a separate "document" but it's all in the same file and instantly accessible - and with Scrivener, you can view two pages side by side simultaneously. I very often need to refer to other scenes, research, and look at images while I'm writing, and it would be really frustrating if I had to open another window every time. (Scrivener has many other awesome features, but this is probably my favorite. I absolutely love the program and couldn't imagine ever writing in something like MS Word again.)
     
  18. SavageJP

    SavageJP Can't think of anything clever.

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    Wow, Scrivener looks really awesome. Too bad it's just for Mac. Is there any Windows equivalent?
     
  19. imaginepageant

    imaginepageant Slytherin Alumni

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    Oh no, there's a Windows version as well! At the top of the page, beneath the menu, to the right of the Scrivener logo, there's a "Download for Windows" link. I believe that will give you the trial version and there'll be an option once you install it to purchase a license for it.
     
  20. imaginepageant

    imaginepageant Slytherin Alumni

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    Sorry, that's wrong - my page was automatically set to the Windows version. On the Mac page, look to the right of the Scrivener logo; there will be two buttons, "10.8 Mountain Lion Ready" and "Show Windows Version." Click the second one and then you should see the link to download the Windows version.
     

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