ChiefScalyNipples
Dictator of my bedroom
What's up readers I'm going to show you how to get 100 Restoration fast. It's pretty simple, in fact about as easy as 1, 2, 3 if you have passed preschool. Oh and dont take this entire thing serious, I do joke around a bit in the thread.
STEP 1: ACQUIRE EQUILIBRIUM
You have to get this spell tome and read all the pornographic images within it to study the actual, sexual, way of casting this magic. It is not sold by any trader or vendor anywhere and it's only located in one place, and that place would be Labyrinthian, so that means you'll probably have to become a proud member of Hogwarts and get far enough in it's questline to get this pile of paper and pile words written on the paper. Or if you're a rebellious little fluffer, you can just go in there without the quest, I'm not sure if that will work though, but fluff the polic...i mean guards. Whenever you're in Labyrinthian and you've made some progess you'll find a room with a gentleman who exploded all over the Enchanting table and near that table you'll find the book. Oh and you can still get it if you already done the Hogwarts questline if you missed it. The spell converts 25 health into 25 magicka per second. It also is a way for mages to commit suicide for being bullied in Skyrim, so be careful not to kill yourself, unless thats what you want.
STEP 2: ACQUIRE GRAND HEALING (or any healing spell)
Now if you're a man like me and don't like paying for your products, you can get a whole anusload of healing spells from this lady named Alessandra in Riften's Hall of the Dead. Yeah, you'll have to sit through her bitching and whining about how kids used to pick on her for being a necrophiliac, but its worth it in the end. She'll ask you to take a dagger to her dad or uncle or adopted inbred grandpa or some plops who goes by the name of Andurs. She asks you because the bitch is too lazy to fast travel and do it herself. This gentleman Andurs is located in Whiterun's Hall of the Dead (necrophilism runs in the family). So give the guy his dagger, go back to Riften and there ya go, this woman overloads your man-purse with healing spell books. So read all of those encyclopedias until you find one that heals you the most (probably Grand Healing). Or if you already have healing spells, use one of those, but unfortunately I informed you of this ability too late.
STEP 3: EQUILIBRIUM IN ONE HAND AND HEALING IN THE OTHER.
Now use both of the spells at the same time and be careful not to kill yourself. Just keep holding down both of the buttons that cast both spells until you reach 100 Restoration or whatever the desired level should be.
STEP 4: PROFIT
Well there ya go. You got 100 restoration and you also learned how to save yourself from suicide from casting those two spells along the way. Isn't mommy proud? I think she is, she told me in bed last night.
Side Note: Take into effect that restoration magic does not heal as good as rubbing your ass cheeks with I can't believe its not butter
STEP 1: ACQUIRE EQUILIBRIUM
You have to get this spell tome and read all the pornographic images within it to study the actual, sexual, way of casting this magic. It is not sold by any trader or vendor anywhere and it's only located in one place, and that place would be Labyrinthian, so that means you'll probably have to become a proud member of Hogwarts and get far enough in it's questline to get this pile of paper and pile words written on the paper. Or if you're a rebellious little fluffer, you can just go in there without the quest, I'm not sure if that will work though, but fluff the polic...i mean guards. Whenever you're in Labyrinthian and you've made some progess you'll find a room with a gentleman who exploded all over the Enchanting table and near that table you'll find the book. Oh and you can still get it if you already done the Hogwarts questline if you missed it. The spell converts 25 health into 25 magicka per second. It also is a way for mages to commit suicide for being bullied in Skyrim, so be careful not to kill yourself, unless thats what you want.
STEP 2: ACQUIRE GRAND HEALING (or any healing spell)
Now if you're a man like me and don't like paying for your products, you can get a whole anusload of healing spells from this lady named Alessandra in Riften's Hall of the Dead. Yeah, you'll have to sit through her bitching and whining about how kids used to pick on her for being a necrophiliac, but its worth it in the end. She'll ask you to take a dagger to her dad or uncle or adopted inbred grandpa or some plops who goes by the name of Andurs. She asks you because the bitch is too lazy to fast travel and do it herself. This gentleman Andurs is located in Whiterun's Hall of the Dead (necrophilism runs in the family). So give the guy his dagger, go back to Riften and there ya go, this woman overloads your man-purse with healing spell books. So read all of those encyclopedias until you find one that heals you the most (probably Grand Healing). Or if you already have healing spells, use one of those, but unfortunately I informed you of this ability too late.
STEP 3: EQUILIBRIUM IN ONE HAND AND HEALING IN THE OTHER.
Now use both of the spells at the same time and be careful not to kill yourself. Just keep holding down both of the buttons that cast both spells until you reach 100 Restoration or whatever the desired level should be.
STEP 4: PROFIT
Well there ya go. You got 100 restoration and you also learned how to save yourself from suicide from casting those two spells along the way. Isn't mommy proud? I think she is, she told me in bed last night.
Side Note: Take into effect that restoration magic does not heal as good as rubbing your ass cheeks with I can't believe its not butter
