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After finishing the dawnguard questline, you do get access to the soul cairn room as it's actually a seperate part of the castle so you can go back anytime. Also you can come and go from castle volkhier as much as you want too, but it might not be worth living there as it's pretty much deserted...
The Reaper can be summoned by collecting 3 reaper gem fragments dotted around the soul cairn. They are located in chests on top of various buildings that have one of the giant glowing soul gems that suck the life out of you floating above. I can't remember which floating gems they're under...
Oh sorry forgot to mention, yeah full vampire lord! Plus i was already a werewolf so that's not an issue either and i think (but im not certain) you can be cured and then turn again and again too!
Hey Tony, i've just finished the Dawnguard questline and i won't spoil anytihing for you don't worry. As it turns out (mini spoiler) - that Serana sticks round after the questline is finished and basically still offers te chace to become a vampire. Hope this helps.