Daelon DuLac
How do you backstab a Dragon?
Passing through Riften (I was on my way to Broken Helm for the Companions and hit Fort Dawnguard at the same time) and was greatly amused by my favorite town:
Now, understand that this is on my lovely Orc maid Urug'Hai who is currently traveling with her gal-pal Lydia.
Brynjolf - Dude, really? You've got an Orc in full Ebony carrying a hammer bigger than you are (Volundrung) accompanied by her Housecarl Lydia in full Nordic Carved with all the regalia. Dude. What are you thinking? I'm sure all the clanking and smashing would be really appropriate for your little guild. Frankly, if you weren't essential, I have a feeling she would have smashed you over the head and taken your clothes.
Grelod - Normally I sneek up on her at night and take her out, but I was in a hurry so I had Lyd's wait outside, walked in in the middle of the morning and right up to her as she was threatening to beat the children, snapped her neck and took all her belongings. Sure Constance pitched a little fit (for about 10 seconds), but the kids actually cheered and congratulated Aventis! That and, apparently, nobody gave a damn that I'd just done it at all. Sheesh, that old bag must have been a real piece of work.
Durge - really dude? You're threatening us? Get a grip little man. We just laid waste to everybody in you sewer for goodness sake. I'm just here to see the face changer. My warpaint is getting on my nerves.
And, finally: Imperial Couriers in the Ratway? What? I've encountered you deep in Dwemer ruins, and caves and in the middle of the wilds where no decent person should be, but, the Ratway? How'd you even manage it? I mean, honestly, they kill you whenever you get anywhere near the city and there isn't any other entry.
Oye!
Now, understand that this is on my lovely Orc maid Urug'Hai who is currently traveling with her gal-pal Lydia.
Brynjolf - Dude, really? You've got an Orc in full Ebony carrying a hammer bigger than you are (Volundrung) accompanied by her Housecarl Lydia in full Nordic Carved with all the regalia. Dude. What are you thinking? I'm sure all the clanking and smashing would be really appropriate for your little guild. Frankly, if you weren't essential, I have a feeling she would have smashed you over the head and taken your clothes.
Grelod - Normally I sneek up on her at night and take her out, but I was in a hurry so I had Lyd's wait outside, walked in in the middle of the morning and right up to her as she was threatening to beat the children, snapped her neck and took all her belongings. Sure Constance pitched a little fit (for about 10 seconds), but the kids actually cheered and congratulated Aventis! That and, apparently, nobody gave a damn that I'd just done it at all. Sheesh, that old bag must have been a real piece of work.
Durge - really dude? You're threatening us? Get a grip little man. We just laid waste to everybody in you sewer for goodness sake. I'm just here to see the face changer. My warpaint is getting on my nerves.
And, finally: Imperial Couriers in the Ratway? What? I've encountered you deep in Dwemer ruins, and caves and in the middle of the wilds where no decent person should be, but, the Ratway? How'd you even manage it? I mean, honestly, they kill you whenever you get anywhere near the city and there isn't any other entry.
Oye!
