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Lord Rokinges

Official Fanfiction Judge
Told to judge this one by two people, I'll give it a go.​
ORIGINALITY: 8/10
CHARACTER DEPTH: 9/10
STORY: 10/10
LORE LEVEL: 9/10
COMMENTS: Wonderful storyline, I have to say. Amazing descriptions for simply small parts of the story.
OVERALL LEVEL: 9/10
 

Start Dale

I got 99 problems but a Deadra ain't one.
Wow Thanks for the ratings!! Been busy with a couple of paintings and sorting out my Art Studio. Hoping to get back in to this again and build more on to the story line.
 

Start Dale

I got 99 problems but a Deadra ain't one.


Part 17 – Unknown Quantities

“Josin!” Kathryn shouted not even laying her gaze fully on the surrounding Stormcloaks, she gets up and walks past Rikke who doesn’t raise a hand to stop her. Kathryn notices as she passes that some of the Stormcloaks bow their heads a fraction as she passes. One of the Stormcloaks, a Wood Elf dressed in the Nord light armour grabs Josin from the ground and lifts him to his feet. “Your friends are here” abruptly she speaks to Josin.

“Actually from what I have gathered so far, your army is here” Josin shot out and to make is point theatrically shook his shackles and the nodded his head at the Elf who is bowed slightly while facing her. “Apparently though being friends and allies with the Dragonborn doesn’t count” Josin pouted.

“Kathryn, if I may we had hoped to do this differently however when we arrived some berserker and an archer decided to take on the entire column without checking to see if we are friend or foe. They dragged the rest into the conflict and so you can see here we are. They fought well and are being cared for however they were outnumbered 20 to 1 so don’t feel too bad about it. As Josin has correctly surmised I would like to offer you the role of Commander in Chief of the Stormcloak rebellion” Rikke stood waiting while Kathryn shocked struggled for words.

Finally she managed “But I, I fought for the Empire”.

Josin no longer being paid attention to took this opportunity to slip his shackles off and nonchalantly walking past Rikke and spoke to Kathryn “Maybe not the best thing to mention, ask them to free your Companions”.

“What Josin said” Kathryn managed before she met Rikke’s gaze again who just looked back expectantly. Around them the Stormcloaks freed the others in their group.

“Explain it to me slowly then Rikke, please” Kathryn finally spoke.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Hello Jarl!” Kathryn intones heartily in the Hall of Kings “and of course his fine lady” she adds bowing.

The Jarl bounds off of his throne chair and hurries to Kathryn picking her up in a bear hug before setting her down “Welcome to Windhelm! Welcome you and your friend, he gives Josin a firm handshake, please share a drink and food with us. If we had known you were coming we would have laid on a large feast for you”.

“This is to be a quiet visit and not solely for social reasons alas” Kathryn motions to Josin “I would like to introduce my friend Josin who represents a number of financial concerns in Riften. We are here seeking help from you and your fine lady with something that is troubling Riften. Could you do the honour of giving us a private audience today?”

“Of course” with a motion the throne room clears of guards till it is just the four of them standing there.

“I heard Maven no longer calls herself Jarl of Riften” Laila speaks from her seat “Surely you are not looking for me to come back and poorly rule in her place”.

“No Laila, time moves forward and the work you do here is greater than that you could do back in Riften” Josin as he speaks removes a package from his satchel. He hands it delicately to her and waits while she opens it.

“What is it you require of my wife and I?” Brunwulf asks.

“All we ask is that Laila thinks of the Jarl of Riften and then writes using the quill she now holds. In return she can keep it as a gift the quill is enchanted to make the bearer write only their inner truths something you may find useful” Josin finishes noticing the glance shared by Brunwulf and Laila.

“I find this acceptable” Laila finds a scroll of blank paper and an ink well she then uses the quill to write. She looks at what she has written and smiles then folds the piece of paper closed and with the name obscured hands it back to Josin “You have your work cut out for you, thief” Laila then gets up and walks back to her room.

Brunwulf looks between Kathryn and Josin “No Josin you can wait till you leave this hall before you look at whatever my beloved has written for you. Time is short and we are busy if the business of today is done I would like to return to my beloved and enjoy a brief respite from ceremony together”.

Kathryn goes to speak but is interrupted by Josin “Of course Jarl, you must need to enjoy the time you get to spend together”. Brunwulf turns and makes his way to his private chamber following Laila, as they depart the guards return to the hall.

“What was that about Josin? He was all smiles and welcome then he doesn’t have time for us. What is going on?” Kathryn looks adamant at Josin.

“I helped install Maven back when she was apparently the best thing for Riften Laila remembers that and still bears the pain of that loss. Brunwulf is merely protecting his beloved as a good Nord would do". This explanation seems to serve and soothe Kathryn’s need for understanding without another word they leave The Hall of Kings and this time take a carriage back to Riften.

Upstairs in the Jarl’s private chamber Laila and Brunwulf together write and take turns with the Quill. Then swap papers open them and look both pieces of paper read the same ‘Thalmor defeated & Skyrim Independent’.

Brunwulf looks his beloved in the eye “How are the Stormcloaks doing?”

“Fine, they have enough weapons and are training up a contingent of Battle Mages currently as well as putting regular troops through their paces clearing out Draugr nests. Which by the way are of an almost never ending supply however still the Thalmor remain quiet, no activity yet, we know their intentions to annex Skyrim. Still we have no idea of the timescale, the Empire is still weakened and though with the Dragonborns help Ulfric’s rebellion was quashed we know if the Thalmor push the Empire will give up her extended territories to protect their homelands. The intercepts of Thalmor messages tell us that much” Laila rubs her forehead “Technically we are ready, however the Mages who search the future up at the College say we will still be defeated but by what they do not know. We need to unify the various forces in Skyrim under one banner but what?”

“Talos” Mutters Brunwulf.

“Very funny” Laila quips back.

“No we have the last Dragonborn a fighter capable of great feats that can channel the very force of Dragons through her voice. The most powerful on record bar one last heard of in the mists of time…” Brunwulf left the sentence hanging there

Laila smiling picked it up “… one who has now returned to us”.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kathryn sat stunned as Rikke explained quietly in a tent the sequence of events that led from Windhelm to now.

“So they think I am a God?” Kathryn found it hard to get her head round this idea.

“Not quite a God, more a return of an aspect of Talos sent to save and vanquish at the same time. Sort of…” Rikke looked uncomfortable with this part of the conversation waving her hands about has she struggled for the words “… not Talos but also born of him and still Talos reborn in human flesh, do you follow?” Rikke looked hopeful.

“No”

“Seems legit to me” Josin stated, Kathryn just glared at him “Listen we know not what is coming however your own personal army would come in useful. Especially if we have to face off with any sort of force, even you can see the reason in that”.

Kathryn was quiet for a while before she next spoke.

“So you have known about the Thalmor and some other hidden threat for some time. How does a soldier get such information?” Kathryn asked looking at Rikke.

“It was back when I still was under my commission with the Imperial legion, I had been assigned to the garrison near Winterhold to assist the newly Installed Jarl there begin the process of rebuilding his town and hold with the assistance of the College itself. During one of the meetings I had the pleasure of meeting their new Archmage J’zargo. We began talking and he informed me discreetly of a vision he had received and informed me of a new path I must take. At first I found it ridiculous but I intercepted some Thalmor communiques that confirmed small parts of what he had told me. So I relinquished my commission to the Legion and began a new path to build an army that can protect a unified Skyrim”.

Kathryn was silent while she assembled this information “Well we will be heading to Winterhold next I’d like to talk to J’zargo again. Seems he knows more than he has ever told me about my path”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Awakening in a soft bed Lydia jumps out of the bed and too her feet backing into a corner she looks at the nearest exits while inside her chest her heart races. The door opens and light from outside the room floods in Lydia turns away. Then slowly calms and finally wakening slides down from the braced position she had assumed against the wall.

“J’zargo” she speaks identifying her visitor almost for her own reassurance opposed to any form of acknowledgement.

“Not more nightmares Lydia? I was hoping we had broken through in our last session. Never mind we will keep working on this after your training of course” J’zargo stopped talking and turning round waited patiently for Lydia to dress in her new clothes.

“I’m ready” Lydia now dressed and calm with a stone like expression walks briskly past J’zargo. “Besides both you and I know the only thing that will remove the nightmares, well one of the things that is” At that she turned round the corner and headed towards the main building of Winterhold College proper.

J’zargo found himself having to jog slightly to catch up “Well yes of course, in the meantime I had hoped my more therapeutic sessions would have helped you lose some of that pain and gain greater focus”.

“Pain is becoming focus” Lydia stopped “J’zargo, your concern for me is touching however we both know the real reason you sent Serena out to track me down in the wild hills of Whiterun. You need a weapon something that can be deployed at the Thalmor and will relish the task of hunting and killing as many of them as possible. Till I discern the location of their hidden space” Lydia held J’zargos gaze a few seconds unwavering. “My life may be forfeit in this task that will be peace enough for now. Besides all you have done is give me better skills and a final target. I had already been hunting Thalmor since that night”.

“Well hopefully some direction will make your task more realistic” J’zargo started to head towards the hall again with Lydia walking besides him “We still have some training to complete before our guests arrive later on”.

“Besides I’ve only been here three days Khajit I think the progress has been phenomenal” Lydia stated bluntly.

“Well hopefully you are ready for what comes next” J,zargo watched Lydia.

“What?” Lydia replied

“The Dragonborn is coming here very shortly” As J’zargo spoke Lydia looked apprehensive.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Lydia, do you not want to join the Companions? You are the equal of any warrior I know” Kathryn walked with Lydia through the streets of Whiterun.

“I have been travelling with you for a long time Thane, we have done many great things and vanquished much evil together…” Lydia stopped looking pained she tried to search for the words.

“You don’t want to serve any longer?” Kathryn smiled at the realisation.

Lydia looked ashamed to have her desires so obviously understood “You never have made me feel like I am your servant, always treated me as an equal but yes you are right I wish to make my own path now” They continued walking towards The Bannered Mare “I have more and more enjoyed our brief respite and visits to…” Lydia dropped her voice to an unheard whisper “The Blades”.

Taking seats Kathryn ordered them both some mead and some food before they returned to the conversation at hand.

“Thane, Dragonborn, Kathryn, I wish to serve still and serve you in some way” Lydia paused while ordering her thoughts “Yet the idea to join something thought lost to help it return to strength to give it new life. That idea fills my heart in a way that I have never experienced before”.

“Well I know Delphine would be pleased to have such an experienced warrior in her rank, well not visibly pleased…” Kathryn left the comment on the Blades Commander hanging in the air and both of them shared a smile. “I will be sad to lose your permanent companionship as I have come to rely heavily on you throughout my time recently. However I cannot deny a friend the opportunity to follow their true calling. Let us celebrate now that you will become one of the Blades and always remain a trusted friend of mine”. To that both women raised a toast to each other.

The following day Kathryn and Lydia departed on their last journey together, Lydia joined the Blades and served them loyally. Kathryn kept up to date with all her friends and allies in correspondence so it came to pass that suddenly days passed without news from the Blades or Lydia. Finally the news flowed through from her old Imperial sources the Blades were gone all signs of their encampment had been turned into a charnel house. Bodies left to rot in the sun were discovered after a passing caravan had followed the smoke coming from a lit beacon.

Kathryn mourned the passing of her friends and wept for her Companion Lydia privately for many weeks to come.

She never found out that Lydia had survived, the rumours of the ruined Nord woman spared by the Thalmor didn’t reach her.

To Part 18
 
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Start Dale

I got 99 problems but a Deadra ain't one.
Working on it guys :)

Sent from my GT-I8190N using Tapatalk
 

A.Auditore

maybe...
*sings* Im caught up now! :eek:

<3 it Dale :D
 

Start Dale

I got 99 problems but a Deadra ain't one.
To go to start of Fanfic click here
Part 18: Reborn


“A column approaches!” The shout ran down the road into Winterhold itself carried by an exhausted Imperial guardsman.


“What column? Is it relief?” Was the reply from the Legate on the cusp of the town, he motioned for the guard to stop and breath before continuing.


“Not relief” stated the guard “Stormcloaks, over a thousand of them, armed heavily and at the front” The guard paused uncertain of about what he was going to say. “The Dragonborn and her companions are leading them”.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


“So, this is the new base then?” Cicero stands under the massive statue to a long dead Falmer prince “I like it, it has something I just can’t place what it is yet”. Cicero stares up at the statue for a couple of minutes “Nope still can’t place it”.


The Night Mother Coffin is raised by the apprentice Assassins and the lid is removed Cicero immediately shoos the initiates out of the way and begins to meticulously care for and maintain the Night Mothers corpse.


“Any trouble on the way here?” Artur asks the initiates. They share a glance between each other and with a nod one of their number is selected to speak to the Listener.


“Sir, not any trouble that affected us. We were beset upon by bandits but they didn’t prove a struggle to manage” The speaker managed a smug smile “We did notice something odd though at one point we were set upon by, well I don’t know how best to explain this so we brought what they were wearing back with us”. The Initiates drop three red robes and porcelain white with gold masks onto the ground in front of the Listener. “We’ve tried to find out where they come from but there is nothing on our records about them”. The Initiate motions with his head towards Babette.


“It is true I’ve no idea of any organization that uses this attire as its regalia. If it is aimed at us we appear to have gathered another new enemy” sighing Babette exclaimed “Lucky us”.


Noh’leen walks into the room and looks down at the robes “Where did you get those things?” Angrily she spits her words demanding an answer. Nervously one of the Initiates answers her telling her how they tried to attack their group on the way here.


“You know this attire then?” Babette asked Noh’leen.


“Yes, it belongs to a long dead cult from the days of the Dragon priests. This particular cult was connected to the Dragon priest Miraak, however I believe by the end he was calling himself Dragonborn. If I am right he belongs in one of the Deadric pits with Hermaeus Mora. Toiling away for his Deadric Lord till he can be let free to begin again his aim to torture reality with his mad visions”. Noh’leen picked up the mask and studied it “You can see it is new freshly made, whoever is organising this cult of Miraak’s it is new. The question is, is it Miraak trying to return or is it someone using their people for their own gain?”


“Neither answer sounds like it will have a happy ending” Nazir interjected.


“Well for us it would be too bad, if it is Miraak he will be too distracted with the Dragonborn to give anyone else his consideration, whereas if it is an opportunistic person using an old cult to build a power base they will focus on Miraak’s old home of Solstheim to expand their power in and so not be a problem for Skyrim”. Noh’leen stated matter of fact.


“Why the Dragonborn?” Artur asked.


“Oh Miraak thinks he was the first Dragonborn and wants to be the only one to have ever existed. It is his obsession and he will never let it go”.


Artur looking serious stated “We need to warn Kathryn just in case”.


After finishing setting up their temporary Dark Brotherhood base in Irkngthand Artur and his fellow assassins rested.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


“Artur” The voice came in from the dark surrounding him.


“Artur” it repeated.


“I am here Night Mother, what is your will for me?”


“Will? No, no, will for you dear child just a story of what will be written” The hand of the Night Mother took his own and lead him from the darkness into a piercing light.


Inside the light he saw a frozen tableau of figure slowly coalesce into motion. They were in a dark massively large cavern surrounding a rather plain and non-descript alter. Flanking it he could see four Thalmor Justiciers with about 100 Thalmor soldiers kneeling in front of the altar. At its head stood a figure in a red robe with a porcelain and gold mask and on the altar was the inert body of Kathryn stripped of her armour naked before them. The red robed figure picked up Wuuthrad from the ground and the figure swung the axe down into Kathryn splitting her ribcage open. From her ribcage light started to pour red and black it gathered round her until another figure pulled the light from Kathryn’s corpse. The second figure was Elenwyn who then took the light and bundled it up into Wuuthrad before shattering the great battle axe. These shards were then handed to the figure in the red robe who levitated them over the altar where they started to rotate over it faster and faster forming a pool of red and black.


“Return to us that which was hidden come forth and reclaim your land! Bring us the hierarchy of power! Return to us oh, our masters so that we may prosper under your tutelage! Return, RETURN!” Miraak shouts to the opening portal.


The portal collapses in a blink and the massive cavern fills with bright white light which slowly starts to fade. The chamber is not willed with thousands of figures who emanate power. Their skin as black as coal they each stand at least seven foot tall, naked they seem to glow from within. Their eyes white without pupil are painful to see, Artur transfixed in his vision cannot turn away from this tableau. Slowly one of the Dwarves turns to face him tilting its head it begins to speak “A vision will not save you from us”.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


A hand reached up from the ground and was embraced then was pulled up at the end of the hand was an Imperial soldier. Kathryn smiled down at him “I would consider an alliance a prudent course of action, wouldn’t you say?” The soldier nodded in agreement.


The Stormcloak army started setting up camp in the Winterhold and building accommodation for their troops by the end of the day the town had been increased by a quarter size with the activity Winterhold started to look like a proper town opposed to an outpost in decline.


From the college a procession approached the Stormcloak camp headed by the Archmage J’zargo who was flanked by two women one in heavy armour and the other wearing vampiric armour.


“Lydia?” Kathryn stood shocked and transfixed to see her housecarl approach. Lydia’s face was stony in countenance. Until the Dragonborn ran to her and took her in an embrace. Then her face started to crack in sorrow before she regained composure quickly and started to tell Kathryn how she had survived the Thalmor assault on the Blades. Meanwhile Rikke met with J’zargo and the Imperial Legate position in Winterhold and together they worked out a temporary alliance while sharing intelligence on the Thalmor and their suspected movements within Skyrim.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


“Cicero, wake my love” A voice rousted the assassin from his slumber slowly he lifted his head and looked around there was no-one in the room bar him and the Night Mothers coffin.


“Even I know you don’t talk to me my sweet” Cicero softly spoke.


“Things change sweet Cicero” From the Night Mothers coffin a blood red fog started to pour. Coalescing near the coffin and tumbling on top of itself till it filled the coffin like a pool becoming liquid. Against all reason the liquid sat still in the vertically propped coffin “Your hand please my dear” a voice asked from the liquid.


Cicero scrambled to his feet and proffered a hand towards the liquid transfixed by what he was witnessing. From the pool of liquid a hand reaches out to his, it is beautifully manicured hand with dark almost black grey skin that shimmers like smooth living obsidian. Taking his hand he pulls gently and slowly from the liquid the rest of the figure emerges. She is tall with long white hair that stretches down her back. Her figure is athletic and lean obviously honed by constant exertion. Her face is beautiful with full outing white lips and wide red eyes without pupils in them. From her temples extend a horn each that twist round and over in one spiral then point down. Her long legs finally step out of the liquid in the coffin and she stands before Cicero naked and slowly drip drying “Well dear Cicero, how do I look?” She inquires.


“My Night Mother you are beauty itself” Cicero kneels before her “Shall I fetch you some clothing?”


“No I have something prepared” The Night Mother grows armour from her skin, ebony chainmail links cover her skin tightly stopping at the ankles with gauntlets forming over her hands and in each hand she grows ebony swords. On top of the chainmail links skeletal heads seem to rise and fall out of the chainmail in complex patterns sometimes overlapping her feet remain bare “That should suffice for now, shall we go find my Listener?”


“Let me do the honour of escorting you” Still bowing Cicero offers.
 

Start Dale

I got 99 problems but a Deadra ain't one.
Okay so i've uploaded a new part to my Fanfic, this has been delayed due to me studying an Access to Engineering course. Which i am doing well in, so the sacrifice in updating this is working out. However i have parts of it i want to get through so i'm going to try and post regularly again. Hopefully that works out. I am at a difficult tage of the story so some posts may be longer than others but hopefully it still flows well and you like the new stages i will be putting my characters through.

Anyway see you all around.
 

The Phoenician

Shiney, let's be bad guys.
Another great chapter.
 

Start Dale

I got 99 problems but a Deadra ain't one.
Well it turns out i need to relax from engineering degree with a creative outlet so the plan is to start working on my fanfiction again. I am fleshing out and altering old plot points with new ideas. My aim id hopefully to get an update out a week. Fingers crossed.
 

Start Dale

I got 99 problems but a Deadra ain't one.
Well assignments hit all at once, so this next part is still under construction. Slow progress being made but progress nonetheless.
 

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