The arrow in the Knee...

Everyone remembers this (in)famous dialogue, right? The guard lamenting to the visiting Dovahkiin about how he became incapacitated by an arrow to the knee. So, here's the question. What do you think happened to the guard? How did he get hit by an arrow in the knee? Was it an accident? Or was it during a fight? Share your pet theory!

It was one of the vamps trying to eat his knee. Instead of getting attacked by the vamp, he runs into an errand arrow shot by a wolf that transformed under the full moon. He recovered and everyone lives happily ever after.

Considering so many guards across Skyrim have the same experience, I can only assume this is the work of a serial assaulter. Probably an elf. No basis for that, I just don't trust them.

Whew, this meme was to death when the game first came out. Anyway everyone knows he's an idiot who shot himself in the knee when he was drunk one night. He tries to play it off like he got it in an epic battle, but we know guard, we know .

I think it was self-inflicted, so he could get away from those wilderness camps and live in a decent town.

There is a powerfull necromancer somewhere in Skyrim. He killed one guard by shooting an arrow on his knee. He ressurected him pernamently, and then copied him. As guards were dieing he sent his thralls to replace them. Eventualy, after few decades, all skyrim guards are now his puppets. Fuk the Thalmor, fuk the Imperails, fuk the Stormcloacks, fuk the police. He is the one pulling the strings. He can turn whole coutry upside-down anytime he wants. Every1 is completly at his mercy without them realizing it.

Now, a little about necromancer. He was born during oblivion crysis. His parents went to war and never came back. His uncle escorted him to Skyrim to hide, he was six y old. Eventualy, his uncle died too, so he became obsessed with immortality. And he have acheved it!!
How?
His conjuration skills were improving gradualy, he tried to put his soul in a soul gem, but that had many errors. He was aware of them, so he developed a spell that would tear his soul in two, and trap one half inside of gem. That way, whenever came the need, he would switch rotten soul with a fresh one and expand his life span. He fed his rotten soul inside of gem with souls of animals, and made it fresh again.
This gave him enough lifetime to develop another spell. Spell to multiply dead thralls.

This, my friends, is how it all came to existance. Pretty much Dagon's fault.

I apologize if there are policemen here.it was for the athmosphere. Also, for all rough words i used.

It wasn't an arrow, as the guard likes to tell everyone. He adopted this lie to cover up the embarrassing fact that he was assaulted by a large cheese wheel wielded by none other than Heimskr.

It was a balmy moonlit night when said guard was doing his usual rounds. Checking the market stalls, making sure no bandits had made their way into the city to rob Whiterun's fine citizens of their valuables.

Whilst peering into the well in the centre of the market square, the guard heard a rather disconcerting thumping sound from behind. Turning, he saw a large cheese wheel, rolling down the stairs of the Bannered Mare and heading straight towards him.

Even more disconcerting was the maniacal laughter that followed the murderous dairy product belonging to the aforementioned Heimskr. He had popped into the Bannered Mare for a pint or two and had taken up the cheese wheel in an attempt to impress the fair maiden Yosalda.

Unimpressed with Heimskr's cheese juggling feats, Yosalda politely but firmly turned the Talos fanatic down. Heimskr, highly embarrassed, paid for the cheese and proceeded to roll it out the door, much to the amusement of every patron.

Heimskr saw red. He was so tired of his efforts of alerting the townsfolk to the evils of the Thalmor falling on deaf ears. Tired from standing out there day after day in the heat and rain. Something inside the old man snapped. The next person he should see would know the full fury of Heimskr!

Not really that much of a warrior, and absolutely rubbish at magic, Heimskr took the only thing he had on him, the overly priced cheese, and flung it at an unsuspecting guard. A disturbingly twisted laugh erupted from his lips as, as if in slow motion, he watched the large cheese pound down the stairs and hit the Town Guard square in the left knee.

The guard let out an alarmingly feminine squeal as he fell to the ground, clutching at his knee in pain. Heimskr immediately regretted his rash act and picked up his robes and high tailed it from the scene. The guard was left to hobble back up to the barracks where he told his comrades of how he valiantly fought off four bandits, no, five bandits and a troll and saved Whiterun from possible economical decline.

UnslaadKrosis said:

Everyone remembers this (in)famous dialogue, right? The guard lamenting to the visiting Dovahkiin about how he became incapacitated by an arrow to the knee. So, here's the question. What do you think happened to the guard? How did he get hit by an arrow in the knee? Was it an accident? Or was it during a fight? Share your pet theory!

Click to expand...

Thought it was an actual phrase Vikings used to describe being married?

Maiden Spread Eagle said:

UnslaadKrosis said:

Everyone remembers this (in)famous dialogue, right? The guard lamenting to the visiting Dovahkiin about how he became incapacitated by an arrow to the knee. So, here's the question. What do you think happened to the guard? How did he get hit by an arrow in the knee? Was it an accident? Or was it during a fight? Share your pet theory!

Click to expand...

Thought it was an actual phrase Vikings used to describe being married?

Click to expand...

Nope. Bethesda made it up. Vikings, traditionally would never describe the marriage to a woman as a negative. Women were highly respected in their rolls and were as much a warrior as the men folk.

shadowkitty said:

Nope. Bethesda made it up. Vikings, traditionally would never describe the marriage to a woman as a negative. Women were highly respected in their rolls and were as much a warrior as the men folk.

Click to expand...

I don't think it was Viking culture but it might have been, where women who died in childbirth were thought to have gone to the same place as warriors who died in battle.

Daryl Dixon said:

shadowkitty said:

Nope. Bethesda made it up. Vikings, traditionally would never describe the marriage to a woman as a negative. Women were highly respected in their rolls and were as much a warrior as the men folk.

Click to expand...

I don't think it was Viking culture but it might have been, where women who died in childbirth were thought to have gone to the same place as warriors who died in battle.

Click to expand...

That was the Aztecs. They regarded childbirth as the same as going into battle. It was an honourable death.

Didn't the Vikings rape and force women into slavery?

It has been discovered that women accompanied men on the viking raids to help establish new settlements and trade routs, and that vikings weren't the rapists that people imagined them to be (probably the Christians demonizing them as much as they can) The Norsemen did worship goddesses as well as male gods, and when they died in battle they were taken to Valhalla by mystical shield maidens called Valkyries, so it makes sense they'd have respect for women.

Besides all that, not all married men in Skyrim are married to women. Lady Mara accepts all kinds of pairings.