(18+) Which three video game characters would you have sex with?

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Simus

An Excellent Site Member
I've been thinking about this for awhile now and I think it would be a fun little mental exercise to share which of our favorite characters we'd like to pork (Or whom we would like to get porked by if some of us are female). That said, nothing here is meant to be lewd or nasty so please keep it tasteful. Obviously this is an age-restricted thread so please bear that in mind when reading or posting. I do not want to get an admonishing finger wag from Rayven because a small child read this and suddenly found out that people have sex fantasies.

Now, with that disclaimer out of the way, I'll start:

1. Klara Sparks from Deus Ex: Invisible War: This wasn't a very good game for a lot of reasons. The only worse Deus Ex title is probably Deus Ex: The Fall and that at least gets to hold up the "This is a mobile game ported to PC by people who have no idea what they're doing so what did you expect?" Shield. That said, Invisible War had, I felt, some really interesting characters. The bubbly, naive and adorable redheaded support character who's only job was to make Alex D look a little better. At least in my opinion. While not being a very good super agent Klara was a well developed character. A sheltered and relatively naive young woman thrust into the world with no idea which way is up and clinging to the familiar for dear life until she can figure out what was going on. She was one of the few people in that game with something close to a pure, innocent heart and seems like a really good friend to talk to or spend time with if you're upset. I've never had sex before and Klara seems like someone who would be very gentle with me for my first time. We'd probably do it wherever we feel comfortable after a mission, get it all out of our system and then lie in each other's arms and talk about it. Maybe even laugh about it and feel relieved that we shared each other. Maybe I'm just delightfully naive but that sounds like a good first time.

2. Uthgerd the Unbroken from Skyrim: This would not be my first time and would only be if I'm feeling adventurous, angry or unusually energetic and this is for one very good reason. Uthgerd is the type of woman who would screw back. Considering you have to have a mug of beer and a fistfight with her in full armor to become friends I guarantee you she's not a gentle lover. That's probably what she's conveying when she calls me a softgut (a rather accurate description) and more woman than I can handle. I would challenge that, have a few drinks with her and then see where things go.

3. Liara T'Soni from the Mass Effect series: I specifically mean Mass Effect 3 Liara because at that stage in her life she's more powerful and much more confidant than when you first meet her in Mass Effect. She's had time to grow into her own skin, find a purpose in the universe and probably most importantly, people to fight for. Liara is a lovely mixture of compassion, empathy and badass that I could really get into in a lover. Like Klara above she's someone I could talk to and be comfortable with. I'd like to be in a relationship with her and sharing my body would be a bonus, not the end goal. We'd probably go at it at the end of the day. I'm done being badass on the Normandy crushing Reaper destroyers with my pectoral muscles and Liara's done being the Shadow Broker. We have a nice dinner with a nice bottle of red wine, talk about how things are going, share each other's problems and then top it off with her polishing my big spear. A silly fantasy but fun to think about.

So those are my three. Tell me what you think and let me hear yours. Give a little context for each one and be creative. I look forward to seeing what you write. And remember, please try and keep it nice.
 

Drahkma

Dashing Imperial Officer.
Wait, I need to give a whole paragraph detailing my reasons? Also, I was wondering when something like this would pop up.
 

Simus

An Excellent Site Member
You don't have to lol. It would just be fun to have a little context. This is where I decided to put all of today's creative energy. Energy that should probably have gone into something like Dusk or The Hunt :p
 

Kohlar the Unkilled

Time for some ale
You must keep in mind that what follows is based upon my mood and feelings in the moment that I type. The subject reserves it's own right to change accordingly.

For the first one I'll go way back. Who remembers, (or is old enough to remember): Tyris Flare. Golden Axe. Look her up. No context needed really... she was just a hot warrior women from back in the day that could pull off a wicked twirling-sword-overhead backwards-hack that did massive damage to those pesky skeletons.

The others are of course from Skyrim. Number one is Sylgja. I think she's the most attractive video game female that I've seen. The reason for that is this: plausibility. Plausible is something that quite frankly, many females in video games aren't. Take Tyris Flare for example, but she's from back then so it's forgivable. Anyway... Sylgja gets dirty and sweaty and seems to stay that way day after day. She's no fighter, but I watched as she gave her life, selflessly attacking a Master Vampire who invaded Shor's Stone with his thralls. She swung a wicked pick-axe, but was struck dead with a single blow from the vampire. It's all well and good though, as she lives on in an alternate universe where she's married to Malkjar the Malignant in Windhelm where she tends to the kids and runs a profitable store.

Then there's Lydia. Who hasn't thought of it?? Attractive, strong, and willful. What more needs to be said? :beermug:
 

Wolfbane

Why change the past when you can own this day?
Feridah Malik from Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Very confident when it comes to her skills and she sticks with her friends. Hell, she was more helpful and caring then Megan Reed

Ruby Melone from Wet. Badass and is voiced by Eliza Dushku. She is self reliant, tough, and doesn't need help. Plus her voice *drools*

Clhoe Price from Life is Strange. Tattoos, blue hair, punk style and she is just pretty damn cool.

All in all they are confident, tough, beautiful in their own way and have sexeh voices :p
 

Simus

An Excellent Site Member
I haven't heard good things about Wet and Chloe's way too young but I'd tap Malik. Ain't no CASIE aug gonna ruin our night!
 

Dabiene Caristiana

Your friendly neighborhood weirdo
*thinks real hard....*

.....

Uhhhh.....

........

Uuuuhmmm.........

.............





Nope. Can't think of anyone. Or should I say any character. None of em really do it for me. *shrugs* Pun intended. ;)
 

Simus

An Excellent Site Member
Not even Paige from Fable 3? You seem to like her a lot. Or Duke Nukem? Always bet on Duke.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Dabiene Caristiana

Your friendly neighborhood weirdo
Page is more or less the class A bitch best friend kind of figure for me. 'Do-able'? I guess. But not my type. Not even sure I have a 'type'.
 

Mighty Pecan Pie

The secret American
Interesting thread..
 

Simus

An Excellent Site Member
They're all music artists? Leliana's a good choice. I personally would do Morrigan as a sort of "adventurous" choice.
 

Dabiene Caristiana

Your friendly neighborhood weirdo
Gotta love dem french accents... :oops: foreign accents, one of my weaknesses I'll admit. Then again, aren't most Americans easily seduced by foreign accents? lol
 

Mighty Pecan Pie

The secret American
Gotta love dem french accents... :oops: foreign accents, one of my weaknesses I'll admit. Then again, aren't most Americans easily seduced by foreign accents? lol
Good thing I have an accent, not a French one though..
 

sticky runes

Well-Known Member
Chris Redfield, even though most of the Resident Evil games suck now days, they're still worth playing just to stare at his sculpted ass and shoulders. :rolleyes:

Farkas from Skyrim because of the voice and hairy chest (that goes for just about any character with the same voice) :Dragonborn:

Lino En Kuldes from Suikoden 4, because he rules a nice warm sunny island and is a good warrior with a big ol' spear and he walks around showing lots of flesh. Most Suikoden fans dislike 4 because it was short and unfinished, but I say it's arguably the best game in the series purely because of him. <3
 

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