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imaginepageant

Slytherin Alumni
01. Who lights all the candles in the caves & dungeons?
The ancient Nords who once used the barrows for dragon worship and caves for dwellings. The fire is magical, and enchanted to last indefinitely.

02. How did the get they big yellow ball up on roof of Blackreach?
A group of Dwemer mages used Telekinesis.

03. Who buys all the daggers you sell?
Mages. They always have daggers.

04. Who buys all the potions you sell?
People who have no talent in alchemy themselves.

05. What makes a horse charge into battle before you do?
Nords selectively breed their horses to be as aggressive as possible.

06. Your the most powerful person in Skyrim, why cant get through a door blocked by a follower?
Because their mass already occupies that space, therefore your mass cannot also occupy that space. Physics.

07. Why do followers always stand in the door way?
They're ensuring that nobody sneaks up on you.

08. Why are mud crabs so big?
The same reason spiders are so big.

09. Why is there a counter for bunny's saluted?
You can salute bunnies?

10. Who long before you are called a mass murder?
It depends on when you're caught.

11. who fills all the chest with loot? who dose it belong to?
Whoever came before you: ancient Nords in barrows, bandits in camps, Falmer in caves...


Ever thought about life on Earth?


01. You dont need to pay for plastic surgery
Yes you do. Galathil's going rate is 1,000 septims.

02. Smigel from Lord of the Rings is the closet thing to a Falmer
Smeagol does not actually exist on Earth. He is a fictional creation of J. R. R. Tolkien. On Earth, troglobites are very similar to Falmer. These are animals that live entirely in dark caves, and are "identified by evolutionary traits that suit them for cave life, such as loss of sight and skin pigment or slow metabolism."

03. You have to use a thing called faith to make the shrines on Earth work
And yet they still don't work.

04. You cant use property from Skyrim as Equity for a Bank Loan
This is because there are no banks in Skyrim.

05. Members of biker gangs are really Orc's discussed
Orcs do not have bikes.

06. Being kind to homeless under age kids can be suspicious
Being cruel to homeless children would be much more questionable.

07. You cant find a poo bag big enough for when you take your pet Dragon to the park
There are no dragons on Earth.

08. Buffy saved Earth from the Vampire invasion
Again, Buffy is a fictional character. I don't think "Earth" means what you think it means.

09. Cats cant talk or sell you moon sugar
They won't sell us moon sugar, but that doesn't mean they don't have any. There has to be some reason my cats suddenly start running aimlessly from room to room.

10. Followers can only be found on the Internet (not recommended for combat)
Unless you're in a cult.
 

Papoy

DON'T EXPECT SPOILER WARNINGS FROM ME
Why does Ancient Nord Armor stinks when you get it by smithing it ?
 

Dabiene Caristiana

Your friendly neighborhood weirdo
Apples! Apples, apples, APPLES!

....

Why are there no apple trees? :sadface:
 

Sah

Well-Known Member
this one thinks some times:sleepyface:.....why are there no babies in Skyrim?o_O.......ummmm:confused:.....don't they do the birds & bees thing?:oops:
 

ZeroDragon

Bring me my broadsword, and clear understanding.
How uncomfortable for the mammoths when the giants milk them so they can make mammoth cheese
 

Sah

Well-Known Member
all together now ....:)

:)Therrrrrrrreeessssssssssssss 18 bottles:beermug:
:beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug:.....sitting on the wall:)......adjacently fall:p.....there be 17......bottles on the wall:D...hick:eek:

o_OTherrrrrrrreeessssssssssssss 17 bottles:beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug::beermug:.............Hick:confused:.berrrrpppppppppp:oops:


some time later.....much later

:confused:Therrrrrrrreeessssssssssssss 3 bottles:beermug:
:beermug::beermug:.........hick:eek: hick:eek:..........berrrrpppppppppp:oops:

:eek:Therrrrrrrreeessssssssssssss 2 bottles:beermug::beermug: sitting on the wall........ hick;)

Therrrrrrreeeeessssssssssssssssssssssss.....1:beermug:......:vomit::vomit::vomit: on the F$#^&@.... wall...hick:eek:...........:vomit::vomit::vomit::vomit:
:vomit::vomit::vomit::vomit::vomit::vomit:

:sleepyface:
 

Mighty Pecan Pie

The secret American
Why are there no bathrooms or outhouses? :eek:
 
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sticky runes

Well-Known Member
Why are there no bathrooms or outhouses? :eek:

There are in a few forts, you see some stools with buckets and some reading material. Sometimes a potion of true shot is on a shelf next to the toilet, cause Orcs get pl*** everywhere.
I found one such toilet in Faldar's Tooth which had a potion for increasing the one-handed skill next to it... :oops:
 

T. Rakinson

A Brute among Beasts
Why are there no bathrooms or outhouses? :eek:

There are in a few forts, you see some stools with buckets and some reading material. Sometimes a potion of true shot is on a shelf next to the toilet, cause Orcs get pl*** everywhere.
Oh sure, blame the Orc's. Ever seen a 'true Nord' drop a deuce? Doing so requires them to recite all three of the 'Turds of Power'!
 

T. Rakinson

A Brute among Beasts
Ever thought about:
How a multi-tonne dragon can rest atop a straw roof?
How small Nirn must be, if someone who has no skill in archery can hit the sun?
How a giant found its way into Blackreach (I guess Vulthuryol got trapped)?
How the Thalmor at Northwatch keep never investigate that mysterious castle out in the sea?
Why your character never needs to eat or sleep?
That you can't find a bottle of water in Skyrim to save your life?
 

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