OOC Into The Dark Out Of Character Chat

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    T. Rakinson

    A Brute among Beasts
    Oh dear. Had Baroth already left the room at the time of my arrival?
     

    Dabiene Caristiana

    Your friendly neighborhood weirdo
    I'll post tomorrow. Kinda went into hibernation mode today. Really weird. At least I got my inner clock straightened out.
     

    Simus

    An Excellent Site Member
    He edited it to where he stormed out after making those miners humble. I'm not sure why.

    Come to think of it Fellow I'm a little confused on the whole "silent rage" bit. We discussed that Baroth was a family friend of the Psyrakons and helped them escape Bruma. Is he remembering the Thalmor ambush in the mountains and the loss of Alice's mother and somehow he feels responsible? And how Alice was stabbed clean through the shoulder and has a nasty scar on her otherwise perfect body? 'Cause if I were in Baroth's shoes I'd feel pretty bad about that and he seems like a guy who takes those kinds of things personally.

    Just sayin' :D
     

    Simus

    An Excellent Site Member
    I'll post tomorrow. Kinda went into hibernation mode today. Really weird. At least I got my inner clock straightened out.

    I know how you feel Dabs. Those days suck in retrospect but get you straightened out sleep wise. "I've only been awake 10 hours! Why am I tired?!"
     

    Simus

    An Excellent Site Member
    So I had a conversation with an advisor from the University of Phoenix today about enrolling in their education program to become a Biology teacher. I'm interested in teaching because it's be a good way to use my degree. That thing I worked my ass off for 5 years to get and is currently nothing more than a decoration on my basement wall. Finally, an opportunity to advance myself after 2 years of mostly unemployment. I can go back to school. And as I lie here in bed with Imaginarium playing in my ears for the umpteenth time you know what I realize?

    This idea terrifies me.

    I feel like that a little internet research and accepting a phone call has put in motion a sequence of events I can't stop. I feel like I'm going back to school and there's nothing I can do about it. It's another 18 months of college minus the brick and mortar. How am I gonna pay for it? I got through college completely on my parents' dime. I can't ask them to do this again and my mom's already said that she's going to be very choosy about putting forth more. How would I pay for this if she refuses? I don't have any money and I don't have a job to get money. That's what I've been trying to do the last two years and I've failed to keep one. She wants me to do this because I want to and not because my dad wants me too. Not even I know the answer to that. I like the idea of teaching but I don't love it. This isn't just going to college like everybody else and that's what you'd supposed to do. This is going back with a clear goal, a purpose and doing something you love. I just don't have that passion. I don't have passion for anything but writing. I loved my last job and fulfilled my contract term but it wasn't renewed. I was having problems with the articles. My reach had exceeded my grasp. I feel empty, hollow, void of purpose. I need purpose. A job would give me purpose. But I can't find one. And my will to try has diminished. If I go back to school that loses even more time. Time spent doing something I'm interested in but not in love with. A lukewarm, lackluster passion brought on by necessity and lack of direction. Such is the greatest conceivable betrayal known to me at this moment. They want me to get a job where I can make some money with my degree. That's all. I want that too. And the thought of doing anything besides finding a job and starting to work, to commit to a long term plan like school, terrifies me. Where did all my nerve go?

    I'm going to try and sleep now. I need rest. I have to try. But what will tomorrow bring? I suppose I won't know until I get there.
     

    EpicVakarian

    Calibration-Master General
    Damned EA; I didn't get the ME2 reference because its DLC, not the game itself. Also, T; it's not ME4. It's just a new ME. Shepard's out, a new guy (still N7) is in. No-one's really sure what time it's set in at the moment, but the general thoughts are that it'll be either during and alongside the Reaper War, or after the Reaper War (however that would work out).

    And is there any chance of getting Lilumae to take a look at fellow too? I think he might be suffering some kind of mental breakdown :p
     

    Dabiene Caristiana

    Your friendly neighborhood weirdo
    So I had a conversation with an advisor from the University of Phoenix today about enrolling in their education program to become a Biology teacher. I'm interested in teaching because it's be a good way to use my degree. That thing I worked my ass off for 5 years to get and is currently nothing more than a decoration on my basement wall. Finally, an opportunity to advance myself after 2 years of mostly unemployment. I can go back to school. And as I lie here in bed with Imaginarium playing in my ears for the umpteenth time you know what I realize?

    This idea terrifies me.

    I feel like that a little internet research and accepting a phone call has put in motion a sequence of events I can't stop. I feel like I'm going back to school and there's nothing I can do about it. It's another 18 months of college minus the brick and mortar. How am I gonna pay for it? I got through college completely on my parents' dime. I can't ask them to do this again and my mom's already said that she's going to be very choosy about putting forth more. How would I pay for this if she refuses? I don't have any money and I don't have a job to get money. That's what I've been trying to do the last two years and I've failed to keep one. She wants me to do this because I want to and not because my dad wants me too. Not even I know the answer to that. I like the idea of teaching but I don't love it. This isn't just going to college like everybody else and that's what you'd supposed to do. This is going back with a clear goal, a purpose and doing something you love. I just don't have that passion. I don't have passion for anything but writing. I loved my last job and fulfilled my contract term but it wasn't renewed. I was having problems with the articles. My reach had exceeded my grasp. I feel empty, hollow, void of purpose. I need purpose. A job would give me purpose. But I can't find one. And my will to try has diminished. If I go back to school that loses even more time. Time spent doing something I'm interested in but not in love with. A lukewarm, lackluster passion brought on by necessity and lack of direction. Such is the greatest conceivable betrayal known to me at this moment. They want me to get a job where I can make some money with my degree. That's all. I want that too. And the thought of doing anything besides finding a job and starting to work, to commit to a long term plan like school, terrifies me. Where did all my nerve go?

    I'm going to try and sleep now. I need rest. I have to try. But what will tomorrow bring? I suppose I won't know until I get there.

    In regards to this, I don't have much advice in my opinion. Especially my place in life and my age. But I'll try. Here we go.

    A few days ago (more like a week ago), I talked to a good friend of mine. I hadn't heard from her (she still lives in the same town as I do, has separation anxiety from her mother, and feels bad about leaving so she still stays). She has been busy with multiple jobs and taking care of her little sisters and brother, as well as helping about the house. Her mother has empty nest syndrome as well. (Understandable)

    We talked for a while and she said she was thankful that the first thing that didn't pop out of my mouth was:

    "What are you doing for college?" or "When are you leaving for college?"

    My friend and I agree that it's completely moronic to shove people toward another direction after (in my case) you went through hell just to get by on getting A's and good scholarships.

    Here's my thoughts on College. In today's society it seems that it has decreed that:

    Success = Money. Or more money you make.
    College/Degree = More money.

    Therefor

    Success = You have to go to College and if you don't, you're a failure.

    WRONG.

    I can't stress this enough. This is your life. Do what makes you happy. As a child of a man who worked as a taxi driver, as a hardware store owner, as a real estate manager and co-head, a pretty much jack of all trades, he never went to College. He had kids to take care of. He told me once that he wished he went to College. I replied, "Then you wouldn't have had the children you first had, and later on you never would have met mom, and I wouldn't be here to make your life miserable. See how that worked out?" Of course, he laughed. Fate has a way of working itself out.

    Thing is, you are responsible for you. Think of what would make you happy. As for me, I'm not going to College for quite a while. If people want to judge me as a failure, fine. That's their problem. Here's my formula for MY SUCCESS:

    Success = Happiness.
    Time + Adventure = Inspiration
    Inspiration leads to action
    Action = Happiness.
    Happiness = Success.

    Money, while good and welcome, is a RESOURCE. I have been in Girl Scouts (yes yes, snicker snicker) and I learned a lot of common sense that most would just toss aside. One of the "Promises" that Girl Scouts make, is "Use resources wisely". When I was little I never gave it a second thought. After I grew older I looked at the whole oath/promise and I realized what it really meant.

    Use money wisely. Debt is not fun. Here is a tip.

    Although life won't wait for you, sometimes patience is a virtue. Think ahead and map out possible outcomes and then execute.

    My dad maps out all possible outcomes and then executes things every month. Taxes. Bills. Payments. It's a wonder how he does it all with the small income we have. But he succeeds because he's patient and he plans ahead.

    As for the last advice, if you truly want to go for the teacher road, go ahead. However choose wisely on how you're going to go about it. Who knows, maybe one day you'll walk down the street, something amazing happens in front of you and you get inspired. We all still have a long time ahead. A little patience is what is needed.

    Like I said, I won't go to college because I know I'm not ready for it. Mentally and physically. I may have passed my GED with flying colors but that means nothing if I can't keep up to snuff.

    I hope I didn't offend or put off anyone here lol. I just hate to see people stuck between a rock and a hard place, society telling them what and who they are when they have no business in doing so. Then again, I've always been a rebel. To hell with society. To arms with happiness and true success!
     
    Last edited:

    fellowknight

    The Devil In The Details
    He edited it to where he stormed out after making those miners humble. I'm not sure why.

    Come to think of it Fellow I'm a little confused on the whole "silent rage" bit. We discussed that Baroth was a family friend of the Psyrakons and helped them escape Bruma. Is he remembering the Thalmor ambush in the mountains and the loss of Alice's mother and somehow he feels responsible? And how Alice was stabbed clean through the shoulder and has a nasty scar on her otherwise perfect body? 'Cause if I were in Baroth's shoes I'd feel pretty bad about that and he seems like a guy who takes those kinds of things personally.

    Just sayin' :D


    Well Simus, it digs deeper than that.

    Baroth sees Simus and Alice as the most two inseparable Father and daughter he's ever met. Of course, because of his 'advantage', he knows what Simus has gone through, (Or most of it.), and sees how he and Alice's bond has become more stronger because of that. And he admires that, he really does. Does he hate them? Is he jealous? No. Of course not.

    But it also brings back memories.

    For anybody who's ever in the name of history read Baroth's history knows he lost his one love, Joldi. And while neither Simus nor Alice knows this, he sees a little bit of what he used to be in them. Does he despise them and do his best to avoid them? No. I mean, he treats Simus like a goddamn brother and Alice as if she were his sister. You saw how he selflessly defended (or assisted) them. He loves them. But after what happened, after the miners left, and Simus ran over to help Alice, Baroth left.

    But why?

    Because he realizes what he's lost and what he's become. Not a monster, no. Far from it. He realizes that he used to be someone...younger, more innovative. But this doesn't mean he clings to the past every time he sees them. No. He just feels, so as to not expose his feeling and pent up anger (silent rage), he must remove himself from the environment entirely. Like going for a stroll. He's been alive fore eons (Two or three, I believe. Might be four.), plenty of time for him to get his emotions under control, right?

    But no.

    What happened that night might as well have been like a child seeing his parent fight each other for the first time ever.

    My point in all of this is: It scarred him, losing his love, and has left him like the man he is today. When I said "now he remembered why he left them so many years ago." I meant that Baroth left them because he knew they would heal and mend things on their own, and he didn't want to see them due to the fact that he feels alone.

    And sorry if it sounds like I'm ranting Simus :) I'm just trying to give you and everyone who may come in contact with Baroth a better idea of how he feels, despite that their chars will never know unless he tells them. #noopmindpowersplx

    And if there's any questions pertaining to this, please ask me. I can understand if it's confusing. Baroth is one complicated guy, ladies ;)

    Wait...that doesn't make sense....god dang it.
     

    EpicVakarian

    Calibration-Master General
    This has nothing to with the thread itself, but I thought you should all know :p I replayed ME1 yet again, but as FemShep. Finally took it upon myself to say what I thought; yelling at Ashley for being racist til she pooped herself. Also; while talking to Udina in front of the Council, I may or may not have insulted his mother and threatened to kill him. ...Just let that sink in for a second.
    IT FELT GREAT.
    Definitely going to go out of my way to piss off Ashley in 2 and 3 for being such a racist bitch.
     

    Seanu Reaves

    The Shogun of Gaming
    I suggest...

    You talk a little nicer, about my girl.

    Also the term racist is wrong/ a misnomer on a technical/ literal level, though explaining it is just being douche.

    But I will leave you with this: FLUFF YOU B*TCH @$$ N1GGA THATS MY WOMAN YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT AND HOW DARE YOU PUT HER IN THE SAME BOAT AS UDINA!!!!"

    Or something to that effect.
     

    EpicVakarian

    Calibration-Master General
    Ashley (in ME1 at least) does nothing but complain about being the granddaughter of the "only human ever to surrender to aliens" and complain about the aliens on the Normandy :p When she said to me "do you really think they (Garrus, Tali and Wrex) should have access to secret Alliance hardware?" I just basically went "right, that's it bitch".
     

    Seanu Reaves

    The Shogun of Gaming
    Ashley (in ME1 at least) does nothing but complain about being the granddaughter of the "only human ever to surrender to aliens" and complain about the aliens on the Normandy :p When she said to me "do you really think they (Garrus, Tali and Wrex) should have access to secret Alliance hardware?" I just basically went "right, that's it bitch".

    The funny thing is I just pointed out the Normandy is a joint Turian Human design. And she does have a good reasons (or if you don't think good, reasonable) reasons.
     

    Ponder

    International Man of Mystery
    See, I've never had that problem because I've yet to do a playthrough where Kaidan's fine Canadian ass doesn't make it off Virmire.

    The fact that Ashley's character is handled so poorly, with the promising conflicts stemming from her religiosity and xenophobia being shuffled behind a curtain, has ensured that I never regret my decision.
     

    EpicVakarian

    Calibration-Master General
    I love most squad-mates in the series. However, it's a general rule of mine that all the human squad-mates (apart from Jack) are boring, annoying or useless in some way.
     

    Ponder

    International Man of Mystery
    I dunno. I thought Kasumi was kind of fun, and Zaeed was certainly interesting. I also have a soft spot for James, despite his stupid nicknames, because his banter turned out to be surprisingly good.
     

    EpicVakarian

    Calibration-Master General
    Ah. I didn't have Kasumi or Zaeed; Ashley's xenophobic, Kaidan's kind of whiny and just goes on and on about his horrible biotic school, Miranda's bitchy until she wants something, Jacob's Jacob, and Vega thinks he's the centre of the known universe.
     

    Simus

    An Excellent Site Member
    Nice post Wolf but I'd prefer to wait for Mab to post before I RE: to yours.
     

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