Sledge

Always the last to arrive and the first to leave, best not left alone with loose cash and nubile young females. (Can be the cause of descrepancies in both cases). I have the mental agility of a pound of poorly trained porridge, and the manual dexterity of a spastic gorilla.
Married with children - hopelessly outnumbered in an all girl household, with 4 budgies, 2 rabbits and a Dog named Nina (female).
In early retirement due to ill health - comes from 20 years of serious neglect - now I'm paying the bill.
Memory shot, concentration gone, body parts no longer funtioning - not even useful for spare parts.
That about sums it up - 30 years work behind me - 1 as radio officer, 10 as Technical Service Officer, the rest as IT manager, administrator, network engineer etc etc - too many facets to list. All in all - the IT part was fun, and I loved it, but it's definitely something for YOUNG and SINGLE people...

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(although the poodle next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you).
A rather large number of electrons were somewhat inconvenienced, however.